elephant journal

Centering Yourself Around the Holidays ~ via Claire Amber (The Feng Shui Fairy)

by elephantjournal.com on Nov 30, 2009

A Time of Darkness

Oh, the holidays.  In the darkness of Winter, they are meant to bring light.  Unfortunately, they can also bring a lot of stress, time constraints and ill feelings.  Christmas trees need to be decorated, belts are tightened as money is spent ever more lavishly on gifts for friends, loved ones, co-workers, etc.  What could be a joyful time rarely is.  It’s no wonder many people become depressed, or otherwise ill, in November and December…and then comes the January burn-out and pressure around New Year’s resolutions.  Oh joy.  There must be another way…

I’d like to invite you on a journey into a world where the holidays are truly celebrated.  I’ll give you some tips for enjoying every single day and really staying in the moment.  These practices can be continued after the holidays, as well.  In fact, I recommend that you do carry them forward.  They are meant to bring a sense of ease and relief to what could otherwise be a very stressful time.  Intrigued?  Read on!

Awakenings: Morning Rituals

Imagine waking every morning with a sense of peace.  Times of rushing around, honking all the way to the office half-asleep and gulping down your morning gingerbread latte without a moment to spare are a thing of the past.   Instead, you get up early enough to have a leisurely morning before going to work, shuttling the kids to school, or preparing for your big meeting.

Yes, I hear your pleas of “but I don’t get enough sleep as it is!”  However, I’m going to tell you that it’s so important to start the day off on a positive note.  If you already give yourself enough time in the morning, that’s great, but also rare.  For the rest of you, I suggest trying it out.  Open yourself to the possibility that it could be an enjoyable experience.  Allow yourself thirty minutes more in the morning to start off with.  Adjust your bed-time, as needed.  After a while, you may not need as much rest.  Who knows?  I dare you to try it out and see for yourself!

When I say the words “morning ritual”, what comes to mind?  My ideal morning ritual involves getting dressed, preparing breakfast for myself, taking my daily vitamins and reading a positive book in a comfy chair with a cup of extra steamy herbal tea.  It’s different for everyone.  Take a moment to envision the morning ritual of your dreams.  Write some ideas down if it helps and try one of them out tomorrow.  Make your own gingerbread latte and take the time to savor it.  Experiment.  This is supposed to be fun.  If you start your day on a light-hearted note, you’ll be more likely to end on one, too.  By the way, I suggest substituting the morning newspaper with some inspiring holiday stories or a meditation tape.  Try it out for a few days and see how it works for you.

Emotional Overflow: Giving From a Full Cup

Imagine that you have all that you need.  In fact, you have more than you need.  The reindeer mug is neither half empty, nor half full.  It’s not half anything.  It is, in fact, overflowing.  You are your own source of fulfillment.  You create your own happiness.  Negativity doesn’t have a chance to hook into you because you are operating from an abundance mentality.  You are giving from a full cup.  You are taking care of your needs before the needs of others.  You are getting enough sleep, taking your vitamins, eating mostly healthy foods, treating yourself with compassion, and allowing yourself space to enjoy the holidays.

There’s no need to go whole hog with gifting if you end up penniless and burned-out in the end.  If you really enjoy choosing each person’s gift specially and have the time and money to spare, do it.  If you’d rather spend your time meditating by a lake, get gift certificates for your loved ones.  Or perhaps a compromise is in order?  Just don’t compromise yourself to give to others.  Make sure that you still have enough cash, energy, and time to take care of yourself as much as you would at any other time of the year.  Winter should be a time of rest when we’re gathering our energies for the coming spring.  Rarely do we make this rest a priority.  Now is the time to begin.

Giving from a full cup means feeling great most of the time.  We all experience “negative” emotions and thoughts of poverty, not having enough time, money, energy, etcetera.  Go ahead and really feel that.  Go for a walk and think about your feelings, talk to a friend, write in your journal, whatever works for you.  Then, when the time is right, move on and get back to your full-cup visualization.  When exchanging gifts, really appreciate each person that you are giving to and receiving from.  Remember to buy yourself something(s) from you own wish list.  Consider donating to a charity, as well.  When you give to someone in need, you reinforce the idea that you have more than enough. 

Getting Connected: Interpersonal Communication

What are you saying to yourself?  Is your inner voice encouraging, compassionate and kind?  Positive self-talk is so powerful.  Get into the habit.  Let’s say you’re running late for a Hanukah dinner AND you forgot the Manichevitz wine that you meant to bring.  Rather than freaking out and guilt-tripping yourself all the way there, try this:  relax, call the host to inform him or her about your late arrival, and say to yourself “I’ll get there when I get there.  I’m really looking forward to seeing my old friends and making new ones.”  A little self-compassion and positive self-talk goes a long way.

Do you need help getting your own Christmas party set up?  Ask a friend.  People like to feel needed.  Focus on what you DO want, rather than what you DON’T want.  Instead of saying “Susan, I’m sorry to ask you, but I don‘t know who else to call and I need help with my party”, say something like “Susan, I’ve really enjoyed your Christmas parties and would love your help getting mine set up.  Could you spare a little of your expertise?”  That way, you’re complimenting her, asking for what you DO want, and giving her an opportunity to help a friend in need.

Now, if you’re on the receiving end of that phone call and just don’t have any time to spare, it’s okay to say no.  You’ve got to consider yourself above all others in order to give from a full cup.  If your calendar is squeezed to the point where things are falling off already, gracefully decline.  Perhaps you could say something like “Thanks so much for thinking of me.  I appreciate the compliment.  My calendar’s already full, but I’d love to help you another time.  You know what, Amy was wanting to have a party, too.  Maybe you could have one together!”. When you treat others with respect, kindness, and compassion, they’ll return the favor. Consider what you are giving them and the fear of rejection melts away.  Besides, there are so many options!  Open yourself to the infinite possibilities.  And, if someone says no to you, it just means that they’re probably over-extended.  Be kind to yourself and don’t take things too personally.

Grounding: When “Getting Grounded” is a Good Thing

Getting grounded IS a good thing.  It means being fully present.  It means appreciating every moment.  In fact, it means reveling in the magic of the moment.  It means using all of your senses..taste, touch, smell, sight and sound. It means allowing space to hear your own unique voice and inner wisdom.

There are so many things to do during the holidays. One could spend days writing lists of activities. Some people do. If writing lists makes you happy, go for it.  But allow space for your inner voice to pipe in and guide you through the list.  Trust that you’ll know what needs to be done and when.  Just “do what comes next.”  Take some pressure off of yourself.  If something doesn’t get done, just roll it over to the next day’s list.  If it’s meant to be done, it’ll get done. 

If you start to panic or get agitated, take a moment.  Stop in the middle of what you’re doing, if it’s safe, and take a deep breath.  Shake it out.  Stretch your body.  Walk around the block if it makes sense.  Now, stand or sit still and imagine that you are firmly rooted to the core of the planet.  Let the Earth’s energy rise up through your legs and swirl around your body.  It’ll know where to go.  Then imagine pure gold energy entering your body from above your head and mingling with the Earth’s energy.  Breathe these energies in for nine counts and then bend forward at the waist, rising back up slowly.  Do you feel better?  There are many ways toget grounded.  Find one that works for you and simply start.  The key word here is receptivity.  You must be receptive in order to fully appreciate the magic of the moment.

A Healthy Perspective: Finding Your Focus

Now that you’re grounded, let’s do an experiment.  Sit still, close your eyes, and think of the words “work hard”, “try hard” or anything along those lines.  What sensations do you feel in your body?  What pictures or words pop up in your mind?  For me, it’s tension of all sorts.  Have you ever heard the phrase “what you resist persists”?  It refers to the law of attraction.  If you are continuously pushing against something, you’re creating a lot of resistance for yourself.  What you are pushing against is pushing back at you.

Now, let the words “focusing energy” trip through your head.  What doyou feel?  What do you see or hear?  It has a much different quality to it.  Imagine that things could flow much more easily without your“trying hard” or “making” them happen.  The difference is about control.  Let go of that desire because it can only create tension.  Replace it with flow.  Go with the flow.  Step into the flow.  Focus your energy on whatever it is that you’re doing in the present moment, in the flow.  I promise that you’ll feel better and will get much more enjoyment out of the activity.

Imagine that, instead of “trying” to get gifts for everyone on your list, you focus your energy on enjoying the present moment.  Perhaps you’re walking down a street that’s unfamiliar and you come across a delightful little gift shop.  You find things for half the people on your list.  It was effortless.  You didn’t need to throw a bunch of resistance up because you just allowed it to happen.  Life can be that easy if we allow for it.  Practice this with all things, big and small, and notice how your energy shifts.

NutritionalValue: Choosing Your Holiday Treats Wisely

Oh, there are so many yummy things to be had at this time of the year!  Very few of these things have nutritional value.  Most of them will drag your energy down and create illness unless they are consumed in moderation and balanced with healthy things. This is more about balance than denial. I love a good christmas tree sugar cookie. I also like feeling and being healthy.
Do yourself a favor and make sure that you pick up more whole foods than holiday snacks at the grocery store. First, make sure you have a snack before shopping.  Then fill your basket with fresh organic fruits and veggies, nuts, whole grains, dairy and meat (unless you’re vegan or veggie, of course).  Next, add some winter treats if you feel the desire to.  Maybe they could be healthier winter treats.  Is there any nutritional value involved?  What will it do for you?  The more energy you invest towards being healthy every day, the less days you’ll spend sneezing, coughing, and unable to function properly.
Start your days with a healthy, colorful, yummy breakfast.  Focus on probiotics, antioxidants, alkaline foods (mostly fruits and veggies), protein and fiber.  Here’s what that might look like: plain organic yogurt with honey, organic fruit salad, sprouted whole grain toast with peanut butter & hot herbal tea. Here’s are some feng shui tips: whatever you choose for breakfast, make sure you have something hot to keep your furnace going.  Replace the coffee with herbal tea or green tea if you can for their alkalizing and more gentle effect.  Forget about using the microwave and employ the teapot instead.  Make a balanced breakfast part of your morning ritual. You must nurture yourself daily if you expect to be healthy.

While you’re preparing breakfast, throw some healthy snacks into a bag and take them to work with you.  Then, when you’re faced with the bowl of candy canes or chocolate Santas at the office, you’ll be able to choose naughty or nice.  Whichever one you go for is fine.  Just know that it is a choice.  If you’re contemplating the candy, are you reaching for it because it’s something you truly desire, or simply because it’s there?  Trust that you’ll know the difference and act accordingly.  No big deal.

Meditate on This: It’s Play-time!

Children play, kittens play, puppies play. Let your inner child out to play! Create something. Create anything! Just create. Creativity can be very meditative. Go back to the meditation or visit your to-do list. Check out your craft bins. Create something holiday related. Break out the recycled paper, non-toxic glue, tempera paint and go to town! Just play with it. Go with whatever comes to mind. Try something new, whether you think it’ll work or not. Create some crazy ornament for your Christmas tree.

Reallyget absorbed in the colors, textures, shapes, and sensations that you feel while you’re playing. Stay in the moment. Remember the “magic of the moment”? Let yourself get carried away. Carve out a chunk of time for this activity. You’ll know what’s appropriate. If you need to come back to it, that’s fine. Just keep it all in one place (perhaps in a box?) and revisit it later.

Need to bake some cookies for a party? Great! Break out the cookie cutters and other supplies. Do what comes next. Try mixing the dough by hand. Play around with it. Imagine that it‘s play dough. Make fun shapes and sculptures with it. There are no rules. You may not even need those cookie cutters. Who knows? Just have fun,whatever you do. Meditate on your enjoyment of the process and how effortless it is.

Dynamic Balance: Activities to Keep You Going

Consider dancing your way through the holidays. Sign up for a dance class. Get into the rhythm. Step into the flow. Play with your energy. Sway at a concert. Just get moving. Try something new. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. There’s nobody to impress. This is all about YOU. There’s very little “efforting” involved in dancing. Yes, you’re exerting energy, but you’r mostly letting your body be your guide. There’s very little time for thought. That’s the point. Just start moving and note how great it feels. Imagine what life could be like if you danced through it. Well, you can! Let that energy spill freely into the rest of your life. In fact, you might try reading one my favorite books, End the Struggle and Dance with Life,by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.

Walking in the crisp air of the silent night is one of my favorite activities. Walking helps me to clear my head and generate new ideas. It may do the same for you, too. Pick a destination or just go with the flow. Notice the decorations that were lovingly installed by neighbors, the lights that brighten the cold winter night, and the crisp cool refreshing air on your cheeks. Bring along your favorite Christmas songs, if you wish. Just get moving. Whether you walk for an hour or take a jaunt down the block and back, the point is that you are moving. Move more often. Just imagine how easy it is and it will be!

Spend too much time at a desk? Running your energy is particularlyimportant if you spend most of your time in a sedentary position. You might have some stuck energy that needs to be worked out of your system. Walk, run, jog, dance, vacuum the tinsel and cookie crumbs, just do something to activate your chi. You’ll go a long way towards keeping yourself healthy.

HappyEndings: Nightly Rituals

Cleanse your body and your soul. Bathing at night is a great way to release the day’s stress and grime. It’s also soothing. There are so many benefits. Most of all, it sets you up for success. You can spend your mornings doing other things because bathing’s already taken care of. You’ll be going to bed clean, which is a very good thing. It’ll help with your sleep, for sure. Have fun with it. Get some great smelling natural shampoo and conditioner. Relax in a lavender bubble bath. Enjoy a cup of herbal tea while you’re at it. Meditate and imagine all the day’s stress and other toxic energy flowing down the drain. Then slip into your favorite holiday pajamas and slippers. Blow dry your hair if you feel the need. You can rearrange it when you wake up.  Health tip:  if you don’t have one already, get a chlorine filter for your shower so you can truly relax without getting toxed out.
Are you often scrambling to pull youself together in the morning? Try gathering what you need at night. Yes, you may be tired, but you might also sleep better knowing that you have everything together. Again, set yourself up for success.  How do the words “satisfied sleep” sound to you? Do you journal? If not, perhaps now is a good time to start. Keep a journal and pen by your bed. Write whatever comes to mind for 10-15 minutes. Just let the words flow. If you need to write a list for the next day, do it. Get creative with this. Then, write a list of things that you are grateful for and trust that you’ll know when to stop.  You’ll set the mood for pleasant dreams and shift your chi in a very positive direction. Set yourself up for satisfied sleep!

Pulling it all Together

Now, you have some very practical and fun tools for enjoying the holidays thoroughly. Hopefully these suggestions work for you. They are suggestions, though, and not hard and fast rules. Figure out what works for you, personally. You’re the only one who can decide what that means. The more clarity you have, the better you’ll be able to hear your own voice and know what your spirit truly desires. My advice is to listen closely.

Remember to stay in the moment, do what comes next, play take time for yourself and above all else, have fun! I wish you a wonderful holiday season. Let me know how these tips work for you. I’d love to hear your feedback. Cheers!

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Claire Amber, whimsically named “the feng shui fairy”, is a spiritual teacher, writer, environmental advocate, musician and artist.  For more information about her writings and services, visit www.thefengshuifairy.com.  She can also be found on facebook and twitter as “the feng shui fairy”.

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