Via Dylan Barmmer

on Sep 13, 2010

Be Brave. With Heart.

I believe I am developing an incredible capacity for pain.

Which is good, because I have tangled with some Real Heavy Hitters in my day. And am still dusting myself off a bit from a few recent blindside collisions. 

It’s funny, too. I didn’t used to be able to tolerate too much hurt. For various reasons, I’ve always been hyper-sensitive to energy – both my own and others’ – and with the exception of a period where I really focused on numbing myself out, it’s often been a challenge to not absorb and feel the hits TOO much. 

I’ve also had this knack for bringing out/up both The Best and The Beast in myself and others. I think it has to do with my raging hardon for The Truth. And perhaps the rest of my personality and ever-expanding heart and mind factor in.

I could go on and on about this, and recently, I had the chance to do just that for an exciting, empowering new publication. If you’d like to read more about my path – and the role yoga played in its ascension – you can do so here.

For now, let’s just suffice it to say that when I myself was at my most wounded, deluded, unaware and self-absorbed, I used to really like to fight back. And certainly, that didn’t make me much different than what seems like 90 percent of society these days.

In a world full of OMG! Gossip Rags, “Reality” TV, dirty loveless porn, Facebook and text message breakups and seemingly endless amounts of dramayama, practicing anything close to tolerance, compassion and forgiveness can seem like a Lost Art. 

Thankfully, this world still has nature. Yoga. Poetry. And Love. 

I don’t know about you, but I am more and more of the opinion that the greatest challenge we have in this world is to love. And I’m not talking about some half-assed, sex-soaked Hollywood or Madison Avenue version of love. I’m talking about Real Love. Where you will go to the mat to protect or serve someone in need. Give your heart and soul and mind freely to someone without expectation of a “tit” (or even a pair of ‘em) for your “tat”. 

And where you will walk, stumble or crawl away – either by your own accord or after getting tossed aside – lick your wounds, process and grieve as you must, and look at all the beauty and growth that came out of the pain. And still send out Love and Peace to and for that person.

You see, I have this theory that I’m starting to vibe with more and more. The heart, or at least a well-honed, battle-scarred, match-fit heart, cannot truly be “broken.” Well, not unless you let it be. Because the heart, remember, is a muscle. And as anyone who has ever done any kind of athletic training knows, you have to tear a muscle before it can grow back stronger. Tougher. Bigger. Deeper. More flexible. 

Yeah baby. 

But you can’t really move on unless you forgive. In a few of my recent headknocks, I have been reminded of this more than ever. While practicing a few different forms of love (none of which involved any physical lovemaking), I became more and more aware of these peoples’ deep-seeded issues with forgiving and loving. And not only as it relates to others. But more painfully and prophetically, their inability to truly love and forgive themselves. 

Lo and behold, I ended up dealing with some form of “rejection” from them both before too long. And yes, it stung. In one case, it ripped a gut or two out. But unlike in days and years past, I was able to rebound fairly quickly. To recognize my part in the “falling out” (my main misstep seemed to be connecting too deeply at a wound, and trying TOO hard to help heal or at least salve those wounds). And to see that they are still operating largely from a place of pain and fear. 

And that I still have my own pain and fear to process, heal and clear. 

Fear can be a real bitch. So often, it keeps us from opening up or connecting or really living. Of course, it’s also a primal, natural human emotion. And it can be healthy…in the right situations and doses. Like anything in life and yoga, it’s all about balance. My amazing, brave and beautiful friend and fellow yogi (or in her case, yogini) and Elephant Journal columnist Jennifer Pastiloff wrote very beautifully on this subject here recently. 

All I know is that I am more and more Fearless by the day. And the main reasons why more and more people seem compelled to call me things like “inspiring” and “throat-chakra opening” are because I do my best to remain devoted to the practices of yoga, poetry and Love.

I have also connected with a fellow yogi-poet recently, and we will be focusing on co-creating a beautiful and powerful expression of the Raw Power of this powerful stew very soon. Stay tuned!

I am far from perfect. Which is great. I’m still learning. And, just like you, I always will be. 

And I am so thankful for all my teachers. Even the ones who have befuddled, exasperated, wounded and maybe even used me. Especially for them. 

In one of those cases, I’m still working on full forgiveness. It will come when I pull myself far enough away from the wreckage and fire to really understand and see and feel just what happened. Getting ravaged, scarred and scared by a Beautiful Natural Disaster is nothing new to me. I’ve lived through nine or 10 hurricanes, including Hurricane Andrew (living in a trailer in your driveway for most of your senior year of high school sure is interesting). A rogue wave that nearly sank a giant cruise ship. Some pretty intense wildfires out here in San Diego a few years back. And the kind of captivating yet crippling chaos that can only come from a beautiful, deep, brilliant, conflicted, angry and scared wild woman once or twice. 

And guess what? I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. I grew up very sheltered, in a fairly well-to-do family. I attended excellent schools, including The Premier Catholic University in The Land (that used to have a Bad-Ass Football Program)! I was a bit of a nerd and struggled at times to escape my own head and feel comfortable in my body.

I had to shed my skin a few times and build up a bit of scar tissue to emerge as The Mad Yogi Poet I am today. And I had to have my heart ripped wide open before I could learn to REALLY love and forgive. 

And it is all good.

There’s a line in the Bhagavad Gita that says “If you want to see the brave, look at those who can forgive.” I have always loved that line. And a while back, I even built a poem around it. That poem is called “The Brave”. And I’d like to share it with you now.

The Brave

If you want to see the brave then
look at those who can forgive they
sacrifice the ego for the greater
good God in Heaven, Hell most men
can’t comprehend their courage

If you want to see the brave then
walk with me through the wreckage
tread barefoot over broken hearts
wounded souls grit teeth pull hair
out the other side is Freedom, come!

If you want to see the brave then
stare long into the mirror, summon
all you have inside, you leave nothing
out of your analysis be ruthless in
your self-awareness yet love fully

If you want to see the brave then
write poetry, stand naked for the
whole wide world to hear you leave
nothing left to chance and stumble
brazenly toward Bodhicitta

Anyway, that’s it for now. Thanks for reading. Write on. Be brave. Lead with the heart. But don’t be too much like Mel. 

Word.

Dylan

*All photographs by The Liquid Lens photography

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Dylan Barmmer is a poet, writer, performance artist and yogi living, laughing and playing in the stunning San Diego surf enclave of Cardiff-by-the-Sea, CA. Dylan also serves as Raconteur for Fortune 5,000,000 creative copywriting consortium Word Is Born and outlaw oratorial outfit Random Acts of Poetry. Motivated by creativity, driven by passion and defined by heart, Dylan has often been called "a real piece of work." Among other things...