4.6
November 29, 2010

Hot Juicy Naked Nude Sexy Sex XXX.

Top 5 Reasons You Will Click on This Article.

elephant journal gets our share of criticism for our supposed shift into smut, for our disregard of former brand established by our six-year magazine, for our need to be magnetize/attract readers by hitching up our collective skirt/baring our chest.

But we here at elephant love talking about sex. And we don’t think we’re slutty at all. We believe sexy equates with pleasure, intimacy, arousal. We understand that exploitation and objectification aren’t sexy.

Our sex articles generally get the most traffic because, well, readers, you keep clicking on them.

Here are 5 reasons why that may be:

5) (Sex) Educational Ignorance.

We’re generally kept in secret, hidden from sex education until puberty then out of the blue we are finally told we’re going to either bleed every month or get boners every night. Most importantly we’re told that whatever we do, we’re not to let anyone stick it in us or we’re not to stick it anything until we’re married or at least “in love.” Yet at the same time we’re bombarded by images: princes and princesses, fairy tales, the famous Hollywood kiss-then-cut-out to post-orgasmic sighs.

So who wouldn’t be a bit scared that they’re not doing it right?

And porn can only teach you so much. What about intimacy? What about moves that a person can actually do without 5+ years of yoga training? Most of us don’t have personal sex trainers (do those even exist?) so we read articles on the topic all the dang time, hoping deep down that eventually we’ll be pro’s, that our partners will die from ecstasy, that no one can ever say “egh he was okay,” or “she was kind of boring;” that we will learn how to always be wanted and how to always get what we want without it being awkward or degrading.

4) Puritanism.

Did you know that as late as the 19th century adolescent boys were tied to their beds so they couldn’t masturbate during the night? It wasn’t until 1975 that the Comstock Law was for the most part abolished and the prohibition of materials used for, and information about, contraception and abortion was finally ruled unconstitutional. The United States has suffered deeply in a puritanical belief system that has invaded our deep rooted social conscious—which makes sex naughty, thus giving people a bit of a thrill to read about it, to click on it more than say, meditating, which isn’t very naughty at all.

(Want more? Read Gayle Rubin, “Thinking Sex”)

3) Sex is well, Sexy.

It’s hot, it’s steamy, it’s pleasure at its peak. How often do we let ourselves be pleased just for the sake of it? Isn’t it quite absurd how many of us feel the need to justify our sexual prowess? Planned Parenthood recently had an advertisement that read something like, “Eat, Sleep, Sex,” though very few people think about eating or sleeping the same way they think about sex. And why? If we found it to be so routine would it lose its appeal? Would people stop getting turned on if they had sex as often as they had a sandwich? I highly doubt it.

2) The Author is a Moron?

Isn’t that why we click on 88% of most articles? So we can argue with the author either in our heads or in rude anonymous comments? “Oh, there they go, elephant journal, writing on sex again, *sigh*. What a–holes. Don’t they have anything better to do than write about what I think about all day long? I’m going to go read the craigslist personals instead.”

And let’s just be honest here.

The Number 1 Reason People Read Sex Articles:

We are just complete and total pervs.

That’s all there is to it. Why else would we click on an article about hot juicy sexy sex? (Maybe we should get back to work and button up our collective pants?)

For more of Krystal’s articles, check out her thoughts on open relationships, eco-friendly sex, shaving, breasts, being more queer and psychics.

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