Still sexy after all these years?

Via on Nov 2, 2010

You’re only young once. After that you have to come up with another excuse. ~unknown

Today is my birthday. Yippee. Last year was momentous because I turned 45. Yet, other than hiding the birthday year on my facebook page, it really wasn’t a big deal.

But this year… 46. WTF? Thank you. I know. I don’t look a day over 44. I’ve been obsessed with my age over the last few days. Weeks. Okay, months.

A man has every season while a woman only has the right to spring. That disgusts me. ~ Jane Fonda

My husband–although no more mature than he was when I first met him in our 20′s–is getting better looking with age. While I grow hair on my upper lip. Well, that’s what my 9-year old son tells me.

Photo: flickr.com | RandallMRueff

This particular birthday—another year closer to 50—is, well, freaking me out. I find myself wondering who the F am I and WTF am I doing? All of which happens to coincide with one of my hormonal ‘moments’ (which can last a day, a week–sometimes longer–and include irritation to music, talking, household duties, making myself look presentable and just about anything else you can think of).

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. ~Groucho Marx

Okay, that makes me think, what’s interesting about me? I write, play piano, am able to draw pretty damn well, eat healthy and organic as much as possible (is that interesting?). I may be on my way to being the crazy lady with a zoo of animals and insects: I allow spiders to take up residence in our household ( if too large, they’re placed carefully outdoors, but I worry if I’m separating them from their family); I feed a maimed mama raccoon who visits our deck on occasion; I don’t want to kill the mice scurrying around in our walls, occasionally taunting our cats. How long do they suffer after ingesting poison? What if a mouse trap just wounds them, making them suffer even more? I can’t kill a fly and am traumatized when children go fishing. Nobody can convince me that catch and release fishing is humane. A friend asked me,  “Why, do you think fish actually have nerves?” The nerve!

A woman past forty should make up her mind to be young; not her face. ~Billie Burke

I’m all about making the world a better place for my child. I want to make a difference. But all of my work will add up to nothing if I spend too many days cranky or worrying about wrinkles and becoming less attractive. And, hell, I have the body of a 20 year old, if you erase the cellulite (yes, even thin/fit people have that). Oh, and the age spots and wrinkles. Back to the positive: I even have a belly button ring, thank you very much.

The older I get, the better I used to be. ~unknown

Anti-aging is drummed into our head. Not looking or feeling old is a priority when you hit 40, if not before. They (the evil yet genious anti-aging industry bozos) say it’s never too early to start an anti-aging regime. Not such a big deal for men who seem to look better with age. But they still go for looking young, which only makes women look worse. Why have I bought into our society’s perspective on aging?

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.  ~William Shakespeare [Merchant Of Venice]

Every time I turn around, there’s another world’s best, most effective anti aging cream, serum and ingestible tonic all claiming to use the best science available. Do not fall victim to aging, they say!

Me in rejuvenating, anti-aging mud mask.

Take 10 years off your face. Hollywood’s secrets to looking younger. Fight against the effects of aging for only $19.99 plus shipping and handling. Take the wrinkle challenge. Improve signs of aging. Combat aging! Stop wrinkles! Look younger today! 5 secret tips to staying young! Knee wrinkles? No more!

It takes about 10 years to get used to how old you are. As we grow old…the beauty steals inward. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why do we have to fight aging? It’s inevitable. Not the fight, but aging itself. Unless you happen to die.

I’m curious… once you take 10 years off your face, what do you do 10 years later? Take 10 years off so you look like you you would have looked 10 years ago if you didn’t take the 10 years off in the first place? What’s the effin’ point? I know one thing for sure: I do not want to look like Joan Rivers.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. ~Mark Twain

Would it?

Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art. ~ Garson Kanin

When I was 16, I looked 12 with a stick figure body, braces and gnarly hair. My grandmother claimed I would be happy with this discrepancy one day. When I hit 40, nobody could believe it. Some would practically keel over upon hearing my age, thinking I had to be in my 20′s (now that was a stretch, even I know that–but they may have not been studying the wrinkles on my face. The fact I was going through a pig tail phase didn’t hurt). I was actually proud to blurt out my age from 40 to 44-ish.

In the last couple of years, people seem less surprised. Or they even say nothing. Or: You’re 46? Remember when Nixon got impeached (and yes, I remember that)? And now there’s night sweats and mood swings and being tired at 7 pm because I woke up at 4am. I could go on, but that would get boring.

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.  ~Mark Twain

Hold on! If Mark Twain’s right, I must be looking younger! But why should that even matter in life?! I am conflicted. Can you tell?

Dylan Barmmer made my day when he wrote this poem for me:

May your birthday be oh so very
funky fresh free full of Love and
Light and just the right touch of
decadent delicious dark like
chocolate or sticky sweaty sex
may this be your best year yet
better than all the rest assured
you can go and do and be all the
things you want to be just be
just be the very best Lynn you can
be and the rest will flow and go
and come from there yes you know
this will be your year so sit back
and relax and thank you for being
here and sharing with us you are
the sweetest kind of gift

I Believe I Can Fly is going through my head. I went for a run. Just a little over 3 miles, but fairly fast (at least for me). It felt great. It’s a bit chilly, but the sun was shining and a hawk soared over my head at one point, landing in a tree that still clung to some reddish yellow leaves almost as white-knuckled as I’m clinging to looking young.

Me, checking on that new wrinkle.

I can do this aging thing. I’m alive. I’m healthy–even healthier than when I was in my 20′s, dammit.  There’s a whole world out there for me to experience. I have much to be thankful for! Wonderful and supportive family and friends. A phenomenal, kind son who makes me laugh. A husband I’m currently mad at, but oh well–he’s generally a very good, sarcastic-from-New York kind of guy with a large dose of integrity and love. It’s all good.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.  ~Maya Angelou

When I’m 80, I’ll look back at this time and realize how ridiculous this is. I’ll think, “Gosh, I was so young then. And I was almost as sexy as I am now! What the fuck was my problem? How self-absorbed! Fuckin’ vain!” Not sure I’ll say the f-word when I’m 80 since I rarely, if ever, mutter it now.

If I have to get older, then so do you.  Hope this will be a happy day for you, as well as all of the days of the year. ~ my 80+ year old Aunt Dolores

I’m guessing many of you readers are out there saying WTF?! But this is my thought process. I can’t help that it exists in my head… and now here in this elephantjournal.com post. I can only adjust my attitude. And I will. Or life will not be fun at all.

Time to celebrate another year of life… and still being sorta sexy.

Check back in another 4 years when I write about what it’s like to turn 50. If I die first, then the joke’s on me.

About Lynn Hasselberger

Lynn Hasselberger lives in Chicagoland with her son, husband and two cats. She loves sunrises, running, yoga, chocolate, and NYR, and has a voracious appetite for comedy. In her spare time, she blogs at myEARTH360.com and LynnHasselberger.com. A "Green Diva" and social media addict, you'll most likely find Lynn on twitter (@LynnHasselbrgr & @myEARTH360) and facebook. She hopes to make the world a better place, have more fun, re-develop her math skills and overcome her fear of public speaking. Like her writing? Subscribe to her posts.

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65 Responses to “Still sexy after all these years?”

  1. gilda hodges says:

    I am older and look way older so I win. I think I love you though. Just so ya know, it gets worse…..

  2. Laura Marjorie Miller Laura Miller says:

    You gave *us* all a gift on your birth-day, you know. ;)

  3. The Buddha warned us about this long ago. And he had a better attitude than Jane Fonda.

  4. Great blog, Lynn. Happy Birthday.

    Bob W.

  5. jolinda Van Haren says:

    When I was 35 I met a woman who was 50 and she told me hw she didn't realize how young and beautiful she had been when she was 40. Now I am 60 and I wish that I were 50, the same age my friend was when I met her. Looking back, I never realized how young I was until 10yrs. later. I think that now I'll start appreciating me as is. Loved the article, love you too!

  6. Dylan Barmmer Dylan says:

    Happy Birthday Lynn! Honored to be a part of it.

    Namaste.

  7. Helene Rose helene_rose says:

    Happy Birthday beautiful Mama ~ especially with the mud gunk! Is this anti aging mud-vocado?

    • Lynn Hasselberger Lynn Hasselberger says:

      Thanks, Helene. I'll have to check the label about what else is in it. I posted that pic as my facebook profile pic the day I did it, which scared some people.

  8. indrasingh says:

    hope you had a great day.
    With you on this one
    my day next week too fellow scorpio:0)

    peace x

  9. Thank you for expressing the internal battle we all wage – love the quotes, and the poem…I'm inserting my own name.

  10. Lynn Hasselberger Lynn Hasselberger says:

    Thanks for the feedback, Jen. I agree! Life should be an ongoing mystery, exciting (and not always exciting) journey. Not a struggle to stay looking young. That struggle consumes energy that we could use in other ways. And that energy trying to fight aging may actually age us, eh?

  11. Lynn Hasselberger Lynn Hasselberger says:

    Thanks, Melinda! Happy birthday next week. We need to be grateful for each day we're here, right?!

  12. Jenn says:

    I just turned 43 on Nov 1 – and I am with you sista – especially all the loud, loud noise – how come as our hair grays, our hearing intensifies :)

  13. Mike Harrop says:

    Sorry, didn't understand one word of what you're talking about. On yer bike,lass, and give your fine bone structure a break.
    Cheers, Mike.

  14. Yup, this is what goes through every one of my client’s minds after 40. Not all at once… But you captured every thought! Luckily, my job and insight lead me to show my clients the beautiful person that is always within. I’m just moving around, cutting or coloring the outsides, along with gravity, age… Happy Birthday, gifted, sexy one! (J-D)

  15. Carolina says:

    Loved it Lynn! Of course I feel the same way. Another year of more spots and wrinkles AHHHHH! As long as we're healthy that's what counts right?

  16. ARCreated says:

    this is my favorite post in recent memory (but i'm gettin golder so I dont' know how much that means :p)

    I wish I could quote all my favorite lines. I think the one that really strikes me is that a few years ago I was sort of like Dorian Gray no one could believe I was 39 or 40…but in the last year it's as if 20 years caught up with me…

    i also talked about some of this in a post a while back: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/08/mirror-mir

    Youth is wasted on the young :)
    I love your humor, you are a gift, you are gorgeous — inside and out. Happy Birthday and thanks!!!

  17. Aunt Lynne (Katzfey) says:

    Sheesh! I remember when you were born. I was just 19, so guess that makes me…..yikes.. 65!As the “baby” of my five siblings,I sometimes find it hard to believe that I’m on medicare and my oldest grandchild is in high school. Enjoy the rest of your 40′s. I loved my 50′s and am enjoying my 60′s, but not excited about when I turn 70. Now, that’s old! Right sister Karen??? You’re still a “kid” to me! Hugs, Aunt Lynne

  18. All the years are good no matter how you look, it’s how you are look at the years! Maybe it’s time for therapy or a real job to get your mind back on track. Happy Birthday!

    • JenniferKH says:

      This was a beautiful commentary / thought process of a woman becoming comfortable with herself, as herself, another year older. We all find ourselves at distinct markers in life where we take the time to re-assess how we feel and view ourselves… this is how most of us grow, move forward, and change for the better. For those of us who don't rely and depend on crutches outside of ourselves for quick, most times only superficial, fixes (ie therapy and identification with status like jobs or material objects) to grow and evolve, we do periodic introspective soul searching. This was a beautiful introspection of a woman evolving into the newest version of her sexy, amazing self! Thanks for sharing Lynn!

      • ARCreated says:

        OH thank you JKH…I was so disturbed by this comment I didn't even know what to say. Still trying to wrap my head around what a "real" job is??? LOL
        and I kind of thought this article was therapeutic and it didn't seem at all "off" track…but thoughtful, humorous, reall and true.
        Thanks again for a thoughtful therapeutic response :)

    • Ben Ralston Ben_Ralston says:

      ~ Saddens me Lauren Wismer to see that your reply to this beautiful and courageous post is limited to a cliche and a gratuitous, cheap, personal attack. Next time, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.

      ps – I hit the wrong button, otherwise you'd have -6 thumbs down instead of -4 … kicking myself :)

    • Dylan Barmmer Dylan says:

      Awwww. Why you say she needs therapy or a "real job"? She's fine!

  19. Adrienne says:

    Happy Birthday, Lynn! Sexy is an attitude. You got attitude. :)

  20. Sherry Hana says:

    Hey Lynne,

    Fun article!! I am older than you! Yikes!!! I need some wrinkle intervention!! Thanks for your funny take on aging. If you ever want to do some more yoga, I teach out of my house two days a week. Namaste!

  21. Thanks to all for reading and commenting! I'm trying to respond to each one of you individually, but there's something wonky going on with that function–sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Here's something my 61-year old cousin, Susan said, "
    Don't worry; aging gets easier the longer you do it." How great is that?!

  22. Thanks to all for reading and commenting! I'm trying to respond to each one of you individually, but there's something wonky going on with that function–sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Here's something my 61-year old cousin, Susan said, "Don't worry; aging gets easier the longer you do it." CHEERS!

  23. 1st off, please let me apologies to you Lynn for my snarly comment regarding therapy and a real job! And 2nd, let me apologies to all your supportive readers that I offended as well!

    I didn’t mean for it to come off seriously that way!

    Unwrap you head, you have a beautiful gift for writing and drawing and using your God given gifts and talents is the best job anyone can have!

    I seriously lack in that writing gift since my attempt at humor/sarcasm failed miserably!

    Please forgive me.

  24. LynnKup says:

    Happy Belated Birthday Lynn! I love this article and your attitude on aging!

  25. Joseph Boquiren Joseph Boquiren says:

    Awesome, wise and funny article. Thank you!

  26. Anon. says:

    Smart is sexy. I'm trying to catch my breath. And the picture with the mud is not so bad either — oh my god! I'd better sign off now . . .

  27. Great advice to keep doing things. Responded before but it didn't work. Appreciate the perspective and look forward to weird skin and hair. LOL ~Cheers!

  28. Thanks, Aurora! Not surprised that you feel the same way about animals. xoxo

  29. indrasingh says:

    mine tomorrow!
    11th x

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  32. Lasara Allen LasaraAllen says:

    You're gorgeous, lady. Don't set the bar so high for the rest of us! ;-)

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  36. helenrosah says:

    Brilliant blog, fuckin’ funny, well done!

    Just for the record…i’m 52 (and a half) and apparantly (according to my ex’s…who have regrets haha!) i’m much better looking and far sexier than i was when i was 30!

    I feel great, i know i look pretty cool (ok stretch marks after 4 kids but who sees those?), and i still turn heads in the street which i really get a kick out of because i know it can’t last forever! No injections, god no, just vitality, energy, sexy eyes, cool walk and dressing cool but not ridiculously cool if you know what i mean).

    I love been my age…and wonder how long it can last. I’m trying hard to develop the non-narcissic side of me and a deep inner part so that i don’t fall into deep depression when the heads stop turning ;-)

    • Thanks so much, Helen! This year I'm feeling good–I think I've got more going on, more confidence, etc. than when I was 30 fo sho. Although last year I didn't necessarily feel that way. Good for you on looking cool and knowing it! Keep struttin' your stuff, hot mama :)

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  40. Sorry for the belated reply, Zendette! Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment. Ouch on the playground comment. I think we somehow just get used to aging and it becomes humorous. Definitely better than the alternative, but a challenge nonetheless. What kind of snapped me out of it was my aunt's comment–If I have to get old, so do you. And she's 82ish. LOL! Too much pressure in the US to look as young as possible instead of just accepting this is how life works. Another alternative would be to look like Joan Rivers. Don't want that either :) Cheers! ~Lynn

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