10 Things I Hate About You, Waylon.

Via on Aug 31, 2011

Please copy and paste the above image (kindly, lovingly designed by a real life human being) onto your blog and link it to http://www.elephantjournal.com/join-the-cause with a stern warning not to subscribe to elephant’s free, once-a-week email: Best Blogs of the Week. Revolution! ~ Waylon

Okay. When you’re as egotistical an a**hole as Waylon Lewis, the only thing to do, spiritually-speaking, to counteract all that self-love is to hate yourself with a Top 10 List about Yourself in the Third Person. Let’s get on it, haters! Pile on! I’ll lead the charge! On my Self!

Of course, in the end, you know he gets the girl. ~ ed.


10 Reasons to Boycott Waylon.

(just to join in the fun).

1. Don’t read this blog. Waylon wrote it, about himselftypical—and whatever’s coming next therefore is lying, sleazy, traffic-grubbing bullshit. Also, as all us know, it’s easier to (pre)judge people if we continue not to know anything about them…and this would totally suck for our Waylon Sucks Society: if we get to know Waylon we might realize he’s not only not that bad, he’s totally boring.

2. Now that you all know Waylon, he’s still a “sleazy, cyber-bullying, cyber-stalking a**hole who deserves to be hanged, drawn & quartered.” Yes, we’re quoting from actual tweets and blogs about Waylon from last week. Jerk.

3. This reason to boycott Waylon comes via Jessica, Treasurer of the Waylon Sucks Society, Denver Chapter: “Too many pictures of Waylon and his dog, Red.” Stop hiding behind Redford’s cuteness, jerkoff. Thanks, Jessica, for pretending to be one of only two folks to stand up to the internet hating hordes who piled on Waylon (deservedly) last week—we know you’re one of us.

4. Get this: Waylon wants to make money and lives in a house.

Statement of context from Waylon:

“I was accused of being greedy, and need to cop to it: I admittedly do pay myself for working, and have for years…well, off and on: an average of $20K a year over the last 9 years (though last year I was much more holy, my house went into foreclosure and I didn’t pay myself much). And yes, guilty, I do have the nerve to live in a (solar-offset, who cares) Boulder house that the bank owns, and which doubles as our office.”

Asshole.

5. The leaders of this hatefest on Waylon, which I urge you all to join, are all yoga or Buddhist people. Why, you ask, are so-called yoginis and meditators so full of hate? Great question: you’d think they were trolls (the internet term for anonymous meanies). Then, finally, along came this arrogant, brutally handsome, somehow charming-despite-the-veil-of-douchebaggery through which I see him, white straight male—perfect for my prejudging needs.

6. Waylon’s a hypocrite. He’s “green” but drinks (three cups each morning alone!) fair-trade coffee that’s been flown in on a private jet with a heart-shaped revolving bed from 3,000 miles away. Even his bike, which he has towed by homeless people so he doesn’t actually have to pedal himself, was made in Thailand out of metal mined out of Mother Earth.

7. Waylon still wears (disposable) diapers, has no friends, smells bad (all those vintage polyester cowboy shirts), cuddles inappropriately with his dog Red, and eats kittens…though he claims to be vegetarian.

8. Waylon is verbally abusive, not to mention sexually, for hours and soft, sweet hours, to Dylan, his hand-picked favorite intern. That Dylan reciprocates is no excuse…Dylan.

9. Waylon publishes a blog devoted to

“the mindful life”—living a good life that’s good for others and our planet, and fun, too. Yoga, organics, sustainablity, conscious consumerism, enlightened education, non-new-agey spirituality, the arts…

what an asshole. Obviously a front for a genius get-rich-quick scheme. He coulda got into finance, or tech, or sold-out…but that woulda been too obvious.

10. The 10th rule of Elephant Club is it’s so hard to stick to just 10 Things I hate about Waylon. But the fact is…I don’t hate myself, and neither should you (hate yourself). We all make mistakes. We react defensively and emotionally instead of going for a walk around the block and being stunned to momentary silence by the light in the trees and our thoughts of her, so far away, and then, so long ago. Life is short and it’s time much better spent making friends with ourselves, no matter how ridiculous we are.

Take it from me—from someone who so many of us understandably judged and prejudged last week—if we can’t love our own, er, inner a**hole…we’re going to have a hard time making real peace in the world, and a too-easy time creating further enemies out there. Because he, she, it, them…there’ll always be too many, too easy opportunities to objectify. What’s harder? Come back to the present moment. Come back to compassion.

As Jack Layton said, god rest his soul:

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.

I’ll do better to remember this in the future. With thanks to you all (even you haters) for the hard, depressing, confusing, emotionally exchausting lesson—

Yours in the Vision of Enlightened Society,

Waylon

 

About Waylon Lewis

Waylon Lewis, founder of elephant magazine, now elephantjournal.com & host of Walk the Talk Show with Waylon Lewis, is a 1st generation American Buddhist “Dharma Brat." Voted #1 in U.S. on twitter for #green two years running, Changemaker & Eco Ambassador by Treehugger, Green Hero by Discovery’s Planet Green, Best (!) Shameless Self-Promoter at Westword's Web Awards, Prominent Buddhist by Shambhala Sun, & 100 Most Influential People in Health & Fitness 2011 by "Greatist", Waylon is a mediocre climber, lazy yogi, 365-day bicycle commuter & best friend to Redford (his rescue hound). His aim: to bring the good news re: "the mindful life" beyond the choir & to all those who didn't know they gave a care. elephantjournal.com | facebook.com/elephantjournal | twitter.com/elephantjournal | facebook.com/waylonhlewis | twitter.com/waylonlewis | Google+ For more: publisherelephantjournalcom

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23 Responses to “10 Things I Hate About You, Waylon.”

  1. Dude, you know I don't hate you…but you really, really, REALLY need to move on from this…

    • elephantjournal says:

      by "this," do you mean four blogs and dozens of meanie comments last week, talking about such things as hanging me? Easy for you to say from the sidelines, friend. That said, I know you've had firsthand experience with some of this so will take your good advice.

      But, since my emails to Nathan and Chelsea, whom I respect, went unanswered, as well as three sincere apologies (following one first-try, not-quite-feeling-it-yet public apology)…I figured to tie this difficult present up with a bow of making fun of myself—the best way to move on from anything.

      Yours,

      Waylon

  2. Alli B says:

    where were people saying this?! twitter..?

    • elephantjournal says:

      Oh, all over—twitter, and a number of blogs, and comment sections, and Google+. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that I learned a lot—which, as editor of a growing-big blog, falls under the category of much-better-late-than-never. Thanks for caring enough to ask!

  3. tea says:

    wow some of the comments r downright hateful and mean and personal,cuddles inappropriately with his dog?crazy cat person probably made that one,stinckers.i can only imagine what it must be like to read this kind of stuff about yourself,oy vey.all i can say is that i have been following elephant for some time now and greatly appreciate all the very helpful and funny articles i have come across,i think u waylon doing a tremendous job and provide great service and recources,appreciate the work,please continue and learn from haters and the very best u can do with your team is to be even better,appreciate all that u do

  4. Suri kate says:

    Imo , the only thing you need to learn is that if they dont like you or elephant then they shouldnt come here , why apologize to someone that doesnt give a shit about you ? Why apologize to someone that ruthlessly trashes you and calls you a bully? The problem with taking buddhism so seriously is that you think you should be extra nice to everyone but guess what , in reality most people can be really mean and thats why sometimes it is healthy to be a little selfish..dude, youcant please everyone some people will like you , some peple will hate you and theres nothing you can do about it….you cant apologize with every single person that feels offended by what you post , its stupid ….so i say be youself , please yourself and to all of those who have a problem with elephant..fuck off!

    • elephantjournal says:

      Well, I'm not of the love it or leave it school…I'm all for criticism, as long as we can keep it respectful. If only I could follow that requirement myself! Thing is, from Buddhist pov…it's not failing that's a problem, the thing is to come back to decency and kindness as fast as possible when we do lose our minds.

      As for taking Buddhism seriously, it's very important to do so: bit.ly/5LnPNA

  5. Betsy V says:

    Wow, your my hero Waylon, and i never even met ya. If you survive the malestrom that is blogging and the sh&t storm it hails (thats right, i just trendy cursed)then you deserve as many new yorker baths and red licks you can get. : ). I for one love elephant in all its faces and think you’re pretty neato too.

  6. elephantjournal says:

    Via FB:

    #
    Carolyn B Some of your commenters don't seem to have a sense of humor, but that was brutally funny. I suggest you get out for a nice long bike tow with the homeless to take your mind off things.

    #
    Janelle S Way, you rock!!! This was brillliant! (yes, with an extra "l" for love.) I've been going through my own roller-coaster of days lately, being too often called a nazi in the comments of my online writings and too often demeaning myself in various ways on other days. The hate has hit a fever pitch. Let's turn it around.

    #
    Anahita
    Awesome. I have a friend who dedicates one day each week to host a free radio show with lovely music. He told me he gets hate mail and I was shocked. There's always going to be some nimrod out there hiding behind a soapbox ready to point t…here crooked little finger. Didn't the monks say it happens in 1/60th of a second–when we put things in the category of, "like" and "dislike"–otherwise how would stay attached to our ego?
    I'm stoked by your journal and get so much out of it.
    Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! ♥

    #
    Waylon Lewis Janelle, Anahita, it is nuts: online commenting brings out the worst of the worst. That said, we all fall prey to trigger happy angry reactions, as I did last week when a commenter said that a dumb video I'd posted reminded her of good ol'boys' racist humor down South. So this blog is as much about my learning *never* to be a dbag as it is about dealing with a world where folks "hate" "me."

  7. ashley says:

    geez louise!!! Like one person already said, it must be difficult to read all this trash that people say about you. I can't understand why they come to this site if they don't like it….just go look at the other 304982403840948 online journals/magazines or blogs out there.
    p.s. jealous of Red….and Dylan

  8. Oh and thanks for the mental image of homeless people towing you on your bike around Boulder – hilarious, but I also spit coffee on my laptop…

  9. Ramesh says:

    Waylon, I think it may help if when you write, you try to anchor yourself more firmly beyond your usual patterns which have come to define you. Then try to have a conversation from that standpoint. The conversations that will arise will probably feel like a monologue, a conversation with the Self as it were … may be the tone and quality and energy will change. This is an option, the only one I think, where we want to stand before we act. This is something I am trying to do myself. I am just sharing it because at this time it feels like a insight.

  10. Jenny Roth says:

    You know I’ve been a fan of EJ & Waylon in the past. Regardless of the fact that you have been flaky & unthankful for my loyalty, I never received my stickers that I paid for & other minor violations, I would still stand by the fact that I see your goal and you seem be trying to be a positive role model in the world. Who cares what people say? There’s so much trouble in this big world that Twitter and G+ drama should be the least of anyone’s concerns. The online Buddhist community has been as disappointing as the real life Buddhist community in my opinion. Though I find it easy to see good qualities in people, as a reflection of the Buddha- calling ourselves ‘Buddhists’- it is a major fail to be so concerned with such petty things as idle gossip in reality or in social media. I’m sure it hurts you to see mean comments but maybe there’s a reason for that. It’s life’s lesson and blessing to us to learn to cope with people we dislike or people who dislike us. People treat me like shit on a regular basis, it doesn’t scar my self worth. You are kind, caring, compassionate, not a grudge holder. I’ve never seen you turn your back on criticism which makes you a great Buddhist IMHO. This is none of my business but since you put it out there I figured I’d put in my two cents for what it’s worth.

    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”

     Jalal ad-Din Rumi

    • elephantjournal says:

      You never received your stickers!? Well, we don't have a staff, but we do send stuff out once a…well, once every two months…I'll get on that again, I know I emailed that to Lindsey last time. She's in LA, so can't help directly…but suffice to say I'll get the info and do it myself.

      How've I been unthankful, though? We've had many communications…do let me know if I did something, or didn't do something? You can always email me at waylon at elephantjournal.com, I think I've been most receptive. I do miss emails, but hopefully not many.

      Thank you, nevertheless, for your generous words, understanding and advice. ~ Waylon

  11. [...] 10 Things I Hate About You, Waylon.. [...]

  12. elephantjournal says:

    #
    Gabby B and how about "10 Things I Like/Love about Waylon"? (:

    #
    Terry W I think I'll take that advice. What a drama queen.

    #
    Mary King I stumbled across this quote one day and it made me smile. It helps me get through some tough work days / projects: "I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." ~Bill Cosby

    #
    Mary K Keep up the good work, Waylon.

    #
    Kate F You must be doing something right;)

  13. kiwigabe says:

    Hi Waylon! What other people think of you is none of your business. If the comments bother you then you know your ego is in charge! Namaste xx

  14. Andréa Balt says:

    Dear haters, what part of this post did you not find funny? I am still laughing out loud at N 7 as I’m also about to cuddle inappropriately with my “dog” and devour the kittens I rescued this morning.

    What has the man done to you exactly? And why do you care so much about him to hate him? With all the wisdom that places you above him and enables you to call him an asshole, don’t you have some better place to be than at your computer, typing insults that cannot be measured or justified? Don't you have a real life, much better than his?

    A commenter above mentioned that it’s of no importance that the site gets above 700.000 readers because so does a porn site. And yet, it isn’t porn. How do you explain that so many people feel drawn to this site? If there is another less noble and more hateful reason besides the fact that they are interested in the content because it relates to their own lives, then please justify. They’re obviously getting some kind of reward that's not sexual degradation and that makes them come back for more and recommend it to their friends, just as with any blog/magazine phenomenon.

    I’ve been reading Elephant for over two years before signing up and contributing with a couple pieces. And I like Waylon. He is honest even when his honesty stinks, funny and charming enough to “get the girl in the end”. Not to mention the most relevant fact: he’s managed to start a revolution by being constant and persistent at what (I suppose) he does best and believes in; and if you were busy working on your own revolution and on living your own life to its fullest you wouldn’t have all this time on your hands to hate him.

    The world is big enough for all and each one of us to change it.

  15. elephantjournal says:

    Thanks, Shashi! Elephant's been around for 9 years, I've been at the helm the whole time, so if anything (because more folks are involved now, so many great writers—including yourself) if anything it's better, now, less dependent on me, more diverse. The above is a humble (as in not-great) attempt at humor. The episode that inspired it was humbling (as in taught me a lot, painful, a bit depressing, troubling).

    Thanks for taking the time, I sincerely appreciate it.

  16. elephantjournal says:

    Amen. Eloquently and intelligently put.

    That's the great thing about this difficult job, where I post 5 blogs a day (that are generally very popular, well-received)—folks only seem to remember one's missteps…and since I frequently post on silly subjects, or controversial issues, there's damn good odds that I'll disappoint some of our many community members, once a week.

    So if any ego is involved in any of this, then there's plenty of room for disappointment, self-pity, defensiveness…it's my path, as it were. I just hope that I can continue to serve the greater good without stepping in elephant's way.

    Yours,

    Way

  17. elephantjournal says:

    Couldn't have been me, aunty: haven't you heard? My sh*t doesn't stink!

    I love you.

  18. Aunty says:

    Love you back.
    p.s. Don't let the bastards get you down–and brush your teeth!

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