It is a challenge for me to watch my little boy go off to school and have conversations, private jokes, and routines that I know very little about. We were always together and I was aware of every minute of his day. Now, I have to hear about something he said or did in his teachers weekly email updates.
Today, while he was at school, (having laughs that I will know nothing about). I went into his room and looked around. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I tried to clear any expectation of what I would see when I opened them again. Often we get so accustomed to seeing the clutter that we no longer actually notice it.
I opened my eyes and observed lots of photographs, chosen and framed by me but I also saw the pictures that he has chosen over time taped up to his chalkboard. The ends were starting to curl and sun was fading the vibrant colors.
I realized, in that moment, that he was becoming his own person, with his own likes and desires and my choices may not suite him any longer.
I pulled down his photographs, dusted some and reprinted others. Then I took the pictures that I picked out of the frames and honored his choices with wood and glass.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
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July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. A Letter to my Children: You do not come from a Broken Home. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD. How My Sister’s Death Transformed my Self-Perception. Jon Stewart makes first appearance since retiring—”it’s not your country.”