Sex & Celibacy.

Via on Jan 20, 2012
Photo courtesy of Flickr

I know I’m about to open up a whole can of worms, a mess of projections, and a lot of sticky mud and dirt. I don’t necessarily want to do it or bring this up, but someone’s gotta do it. Humanity has to heal our ideas, projections and false beliefs about SEX.

S – E – X . Let’s talk about it.

What happened to the purity and wholeness of sex? Of making love? Of sharing space and intimacy in this way? What a sacred act, the holiest of holies to experience with another human being. In most cultures, sex is either 1. oppressed and shunned or 2. perverted and manipulated. Or in some cases, it’s both.

These days, I see people use sex as a means to manipulate, to power play, to receive self gratification, to enhance their illusion of their sense of self, to inflate their ego or receive validation of being desirable or wanted, or in more disheartening situations—their only way of knowing what they think “love” is and is capable of expressing. Sad.

Our culture has been so numbed out through pornography, Hollywood movies, false ideals, ideas and beliefs through advertisements of what sex should be instead of what sex really is. Literally, brainwashed and fed these awful ideas of the purity of sex. Can we for a moment, connect with our sensitivity and really feel what sex is? I apologize if this is too bold or maybe even lewd to some of you, but c’mon- when did we become such prudes? Sex is just as natural as birth and death. Women, you are allowing another person to enter  you. Men, you are physically inside another human being. The boundaries are blurred and for the next few moments, your bodies will be merged as one. I mean, give it some thought—this is kind of a big deal. Let’s treat the body with some honor and respect.

Sex is one of the most beautiful things we as human beings can experience. What a sacred act. We come from it. Each and every one of us—we were birthed from the same canal. How many of us are having sex with the lovers we truly want to be with? How many of us are having sex because it’s convenient or just part of the routine? How many of us are still engaged in a relationship because of the sex? How many of us really know what sex means to us vs. what we’re told sex is to mean? How many of us are even present during the act of sex? Are we too busy thinking about the outcome? Are we too consumed with the end result of orgasm? Or have we cultivated the consciousness to bring the orgasmic quality throughout the entire course of the experience? How many of us are consumed by the bodily urges of sex? Does it interfere with our decisions and actions in our everyday life? Is sex the root to your relationships? What is it about sex that gets you in the same predicament, time after time? Can you imagine receiving the same energetic exchange from just laying next to another human being?

So you want to heal your relationship with sex. You want to be clear in your intentions in why you’re doing it, who you’re doing it with and when you’re doing it. You want to be fully present and own the choice to have sex vs. it have its grasp upon you. Here’s a way—it’s going to be a challenge at first, but trust me, it gets easier.


If you want to heal your thought patterns and unconscious habits around sex and relationships, you’ve got to be alone. You’ve got to be alone and watch what gets triggered along the way. When you’ve untangled, cleared out and healed all limiting thoughts, emotions, actions and deeply engrained energetic patterns, you can then go back into sex and relationships from a whole new vantage point that is clear, healthy and conscious. Start at six months, then extend it to a year. You might enjoy it so much that you may even extend it. Just go with it and watch how it unfolds.

You will be amazed at what will arise. Things you never even knew existed. Try not to please yourself either. Just watch when and why your sexual urges get revved up. You’ll start to notice a pattern. If you don’t please yourself during this time, you will also learn how to cultivate and hold your sexual energy in a way that will then be the very life force to your creativity. It is so worth it. Especially if you’re an artist, yogi or a self etymologist. It will take your art and/or practice to a whole new dimension. It will connect you to a part of yourself that will supply you with so much prana, so much creativity, so much juice. You will then have access to the orgasmic quality that lives inside you. Really. I don’t mean physically, I mean energetically. Then, simply just being will ignite the same sensations of sexual intercourse. Imagine that! Being on the verge of orgasm with each and every breath of life!

Self realization comes via sex and also comes with celibacy. Have fun experimenting and remember, don’t give up. Remember why you’re doing it, not how awful it may seem. The drama of the moment will all pass. The outcome of Truth is worth it. What you will receive is a heightened state of awareness with more clarity, consciousness and connection. What comes is a whole new experience and dynamic with how you’re having sex, why you’re having sec and who you’re engaging in sex with. Your intention becomes more clear. And really– what’s better than that?

Heal yourself in this arena and watch your life and relationships with family, friends and lovers transform in the most beautiful of ways! Wishing you a healthy, wholesome, rewarding, enhancing and loving relationship with sex!

~ Other Posts by Chloe Park Satya, Follow Your Heart, Love & Relationships, What is Life?


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About Chloe Park

Chloe Park is an Artist, Spiritual Teacher, Yoga and Meditation Instructor, Holistic Healing Practitioner, Life Coach, Women's Empowerment Leader, Social Change Activist and Ethnobotanist. A traveling Healer and Teacher, she roams the Earth to share her message: unconditional love, self-healing and awakening. She uses the medium of writing, holistic healing, medicinal plants, yoga and meditation to help all those along the Path to attain harmony with mind, body and spirit. She is devoted to facilitating the space for Healing, Love and Truth and is passionate about bringing ancient practices and traditions into the modern times we live. Her intention with her writing is to offer Q&A for all those who are engaged in the dialogue. Chloe also writes for MindBodyGreen, Healthline, WorldLifestyle, and Yahoo Shine!. To stay connected with her current projects, retreats, teachings and traveling schedule, find her on Facebook: or visit her website: Spiritual counseling and life coaching sessions with Chloe are available via Skype. May we all wake up together. ॐ


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9 Responses to “Sex & Celibacy.”

  1. Linda Buzogany linda buzogany says:

    I get what you're saying, I really do, and the idea sounds completely appealing. But are you married?

  2. Ashley says:

    After almost a decade of approaching my sexuality as a response that led me, not the other way around, I've been celibate for a little over a year now. It has illuminated my patterns, fears, and attitudes toward sex, that I rarely contemplated before. I agree with the author that if you give yourself a respite for a bit, you can learn a lot about yourself, and self awareness is key in any healthy relationship.

  3. […] Did we accidentally record only the chorus of the song? If god is love and we are god and love is us and we have sex, then isn’t sex just a part of the story that is us and love and god? When did the separate parts turn louder than the whole? […]

  4. metalyoga says:

    There's nothing better than a whole lot of amazing, loving, honest, fulfilling, giving, energizing sex after a solid, intentional embrace of celibacy. Except maybe to do it all over again.

  5. […] paradigm, it is the opposite. Being single is the time when you are supposed to be serious and celibate, and the householder phase is the time when you get to enjoy life’s pleasures but within the […]

  6. […] Suddenly, I found myself six months into the wild adventure of celibacy. […]

  7. […] Some of you may be patting yourselves on the back at this point, assuring yourselves and anyone within earshot that the person I’m describing here isn’t you. Sure, you may not have sex all that often, but it’s a choice you’ve made in honor of your higher spiritual ideals. […]

  8. trueayurveda says:

    Thank you Chloe for a great article. Celibacy or Brahmacharya is only celibacy. You have the right direction with it. Any real yogi can only be celibate. It is part of the path. Just the energy of sex is distraction, vrittis, klesha, etc and an externalized path and for some that is great, it just isn't a yogic path. There is no mixing the two as well. Ask and buddhist monk or any swami. But for the masses world of identification and pretending well, celibacy remains just watching your sexual energy. This leaves us with all the scandals and BS yoga teachers and no real path being taught or just pop yoga.

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