elephant’s Best of the Week.

Via on Mar 8, 2012

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Yoga Girl Tricks Eco Boy into Asking Her Out (on Facebook).

The Continuing Adventures of Eco Boy vs. Yoga Girl, a serialized novel (fiction).

“Dating in the 21st Century is becoming virtual. Love and life itself are becoming virtual. In the internet, there are no trees. There is no sky. There is no dirt beneath your feet. There is no real life. There is humor. There is news. There are cat videos. But the internet is not life in and of itself: it is a means to the real thing.” ~ Dr. Willard Evans

Social Media Etiquette: Virtual Dating 101.

Yoga Girl set her trap.

Her trap was herself.

Having decided she was bored and Eco Boy should be more than a one night yoga stand, mostly because he hadn’t called her and as she just told you she was bored, she decided to go out with him until Spring, at least.

She went to the café where she’d seen him the other day. She brought her hardly used Mac Air, pushed gluten-full muffin crumbs around on a white scratched porcelain plate and drank too many $5 chais. She read the bio of Steve Jobs, since that looked like something people were reading. And she picked up a copy of Haruki Murakami’s latest, since that’s what all stylish interesting women read.

Finally, on Wednesday, having pretended to give a sh*t about reading about Steve Jobs for a week—reading about his first stint at Apple and years in the wilderness at NeXT and troubles with Pixar, pre-Toy Story—she saw Eco Boy burst in like a Spanish bull out the gate on its way to getting gored.

He’s looking good in his dirty jeans. He orders a drink, bullshitting with the baristas who clearly were his friends and sat down in a corner of the cafe out of sight and worked on his laptop. Only on his way out did he see her, and then in that moment he went from confident and graceful to surprised, giving a weak half-guilty smile and somehow confident wave…and he was gone.

She kept going back, and reading, and ordering her daily chai
and she’d see him walk in and talk loudly and say hello to
various people at various tables. They usually said hello briefly, awkwardly…he hadn’t called her and she hadn’t called him
since they’d been biblical in San Francisco…but she wasn’t hurt, she had a raisin for a heart, and talons where her feelings ought’ve been.

They became “office mates” over the next two weeks. Then, one day in line, they chitchatted briefly about her to-go cup, he remonstrating her for buying a to-go chai, for-here. She smiled sex at him and went—

…click here to read the rest.

Yours in fun, yet fundamentally serious,

Waylon Lewis

 

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