Oh, thank God for Facebook.
I just finished watching a horror movie. We’ve all seen it, or at least we pretend we have. Well, the good news (and the bad news) is that you can stream “Earthlings” for free now. If you don’t know it, have a look! Watching it is like a trip to the candy store, except there is no candy, and the store is hell, and hell is life here now.
I lost faith in a God I love, but no longer believe in. I gave up hope for a race I belong to but would quit in a heartbeat if I knew where to sign. I remembered things I saw that I didn’t want to see. My eyes were riveted open. I’m a little sick. Nah. I’m a wreck.
But that’s not what I came here to tell you about. I’m here, on this computer still, because I was checking in on Bryan Kest’s Power Yoga on facebook. He put something up today about how it’s ok to eat meat, and I was instantly activated.
You guys know I love Bryan so much, and I was aware that he eats meat, but reading his finger-wagging ejaculation today toward people who consider eating meat unethical, and the deluge of happy bootlicking responses, made me throw up a little. In fact, I watched “Earthlings” again partly to sharpen my parry and thrust, but the whole thing backfired on me, and all I could come up with as a new comment was “oy”.
I am losing my tolerance for tolerance. It is not good.
So anyway, I’m cruising through my news feed, and my friend Alan Hayes posted a video with the comment “F*ck, f*ck, f*ck!”.
I know Alan. I respect him as a photographer. He is heading up the Cloud Nine Project, attempting to photograph the perfect cloud. I respect that: a life could be spent in lesser pursuits. So I click. And a dude has created wings. Watch.
And my stupid, hopeful, featherlight, brainless heart goes right up with the guy, on a video, for chrissake, and I rejoin humanity.
Suddenly there is hope, and we are going to become like the white birds toward the last scene in Earthlings and we are going to know that central nervous system intelligence is as strong as mental intelligence and of course we are going to stop inflicting pain on animals and yes, the good guys are gonna win and technology will get us out of this mess and she was only kissing him because she lost a bet, and yes, yes of course there is a Santa Claus!
Because my yoga is in the toilet this month, I’m a complete stranger to my mat. It eyes me malevolently from the closet floor, an ex-girlfriend, once fiercely loved, now no longer interesting. Ouch, that’s a nasty metaphor. Because I am eating less ginger root and more cookies of late. My meditations are interrupted with sudden schemes that need doing right this second.
I’ve gotten away from fiction, and I know better. I’ve been mucking around in the mud too much these days, and the lotus became almost invisible.
So thank God for Facebook. And for artists who love me without knowing that is what they are doing, by posting cool stuff. For wind on the face, in the form of a mouse click. For this stupid stupid heart, that will never give up, no matter how much reality I throw at it.
And for rare, rare glimpses into wonder when I don’t see it coming. For whack jobs who believe they can fly.
Editor: Andrea B.
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July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. How to Love a Woman who Scares You. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. I Still Think of You. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. Reading This Takes Guts. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD.