It’s Okay to Be Soft.

Via on Mar 13, 2012
Photo: Patricia Lazar

Some days it would be easier if we were all tough.

Life gets complicated. It wears us down. It hurts. But it isn’t being hardened by it that gets us through it. It isn’t being jaded that allows us to survive the hard parts. It’s staying soft. It’s being broken open by it and staying open, no matter what. It’s staring at what comes at us—unblinking—and staying still in our softness even when it hurts.

When we feel pain—physically or emotionally—it’s a huge gift. It’s a message from our bodies or our hearts that something is wrong. It isn’t something to run away from. If we let it, it can teach us. Instead of going numb, becoming hardened or running away—let it in.

Lean into the pain. Look at it. It’s okay. It’s okay to be hurt. It’s more than okay, it’s necessary. It’s good to be in love with this beautiful, painful, crazy world we live in even though it hurts sometimes.

It’s okay to be soft:

“Be soft.

Do not let the world make you hard.

Do not let the pain make you hate.

Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.

Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree,

you still believe it to be a beautiful place.”

~ Unknown

About Kate Bartolotta

Kate Bartolotta is the strongest girl in the world. She is the love child of a pirate and a roller derby queen. She hails from the second star to the right. She doesn't know how to behave with all the apples and ibexes. She doesn't suffer from her eight million freckles, she loves them! Like a rolling stone, Kate gathers no moss. Kate loves kale, being barefoot, Dr. Seuss, singing too loudly, gallivanting, palindromes, blackberries and has far too many books for her own good. When she's not writing, you can find her practicing yoga, running in the woods, playing with her kids, devouring a book, planting dandelions, changing the world and doing her dishes. Kate does not play the accordion. She is a massage therapist, writer and a compassionate friend to all. This year Kate aspires to finally give up on learning to knit and will instead spend that time putting a little bit more of her heart on the page. Connect with Kate on Facebook and Twitter


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8 Responses to “It’s Okay to Be Soft.”

  1. Sounds like we're in a similar place today. Thank you Kate. Big love! <3

  2. ValCarruthers says:

    Beautiful, Kate. Hug comin' atcha. Just posted to "Featured Today" on the Elephant Spirituality Homepage.

    Valerie Carruthers
    Please go and "Like" Elephant Spirituality on Facebook

  3. [...] flesh, but my own flesh. On a potentially deadly quest to rid myself of all of my fleshy bits, all of my womanly softness that was developing relentlessly, all of the genuine parts of me that didn’t live up to my [...]

  4. Joe Sparks says:

    A good portion of the hurt we carry isn't ours. It is our great, great, great, great, great grandparents' hurt, from the things that they fought through or fought off: the wars, the famines, the confusions, the big fires. They never got a chance to heal from the hurts, so they passed them on down to their children, who passed them on down to their children, who passed them on down to us. Now they are ours. And many of us have passed on a portion of them ( as little as we could) to the next generation. If you don't get a chance to heal ( discharge the hurts), that is what you do. We must learn how to heal and recover from our hurts. Understand that you have more than enough reason for your feelings and struggles. Appreciate how well you've done in a harsh world. Choose to notice all that is good. Don't wait to enjoy the life you already have.

  5. Joe Sparks says:

    Thank you, Kate. Your have a wonderful mind. I am a fan! I always enjoy reading your articles.

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