10 Commandments of Bikram Yoga.

Via on Apr 17, 2012
Photo: Ashley Thalman

Thou shalt obey all 10:

1. Thou shalt lock thy knee.

2. Thou shalt stay in the room. The class is 90 minutes. Even if thou dost sit out many postures, thou shalt not leave the torture chamber.

3. Thou shalt not sport underwear as solo yoga gear. Nobody wants to see your whatnot hangin’ out. Bras and boxer briefs do not reasonable public yoga clothes make.

4. Thou shalt arrive to class hydrated. That may mean that thou dost desperately pound 64 ounces of water in under ten minutes a hour before class, but thou oughta know such behavior is better than nothing.

5. Thou shalt not be scared when thy “back hurts like hell.” Thou may find this ridiculous and counterintuitive. Thou art correct. Nevertheless, faithful servant, go with it.

6. Thou shalt sweat rivers and delight in thine own perspiration.

7. Thou shalt move with the group.

8. Thou shalt keep thy mouth shut during class and breathe through thy nose or thou shalt be called out and shamed for mouth-breathing.

9. Thou shalt come back tomorrow. In Bikram yoga, consecutive classes is a thing, just so thou knowest.

10. Thou shalt lock thy knee. I, the Lord your Guru, wasn’t kidding about that. Lock your effing knee already.

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Editor: Kate Bartolotta.

About Megan Romo

Megan Romo gave up a few weeks into yoga teacher training when she realized that she’s too selfish to focus on anyone else’s practice but her own. She’s not ashamed of that anymore. Instead she likes to call it a honed self awareness born of years on the mat. Follow Megan’s little he-cheated-and-left-our-10-year-marriage healing journey and other things that are sometimes interesting and dramatic but sometimes just normal person stuff on her blog remarksfromsparks.com.

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7 Responses to “10 Commandments of Bikram Yoga.”

  1. yogasamurai says:

    This is terrific! Knee locks, warlocks, all very pernicious. :o)

  2. @bikramyocaz says:

    I would suggest that no. 5 could use some qualification but apart from that: love.
    x

  3. [...] Throughout the standing postures, fainting and nausea are a reminder that it is really, really hot. [...]

  4. [...] been practicing Bikram off and on for several years. I have a rather love hate relationship with it and my anger has [...]

  5. [...] the doctor to come into the examining room. I studied the Bhagavad-Gita. I tried different styles (Bikram is definitely not for me). I turned my nose up at gym yoga classes (too much focus on the physical) [...]

  6. Tate in Utah says:

    I gave up on teacher training too! I am still working on being ok with that. the 135 degree heat in the studio (no kidding), the sleep deprivation, and the egomaniacal, verbally abusive guru combined to beat me into submitting to leaving, or submitting to who-knows-what. (shock? hospital?) Maybe we should start a "Bikram Drop Out" support group page on FB!

  7. ColoYogi says:

    The series is wonderful. The way it is taught is not.

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