A Letter to Parents & all Other Humans.

Via on Apr 26, 2012

 

Please Listen to Our Children and Treat them With Respect.

Dear Moms, Dads and Everyone Else,

Please do our world a favor, start treating our children as the most intelligent, wise and saint-like beings that exist on the planet. Why? Because they are.

Haven’t we learned a lesson?

For decades upon decades, centuries upon centuries, we spend our adulthoods dealing with our childhoods—mending and healing the pain, unlearning all of the things we learned that weren’t true.

We should start using life for what it is for:

Childhood = Play, wonderment, magic, innocence and freedom. 
Adulthood = Play, wonderment, magic, innocence and freedom.

What if we started a movement today?

Treat Our Children with Respect. Stop Torturing Them.

1. Stop baby talking (I want to vomit when I hear people change the pitch of their vocal cords and remove letters from a word, replacing it with nonsense). Next time you lunge to speak to a baby or child in gibberish, ask yourself one question, “Would I speak to Buddha this way?”

2. Stop coddling. They will learn how to sit up and crawl and walk, I promise. We all learn to pee and poop in the toilet. There is no need for all day potty parties, let it be.

3. Stop hovering like a rescue helicopter. They can take a little bump and bruise, it is a mandatory part of childhood. If we never fall, we never learn to rise.

4. Stop over scheduling. Children need time to be. How do you feel on the days when you go, go, go?  You are exhausted and depleted, not revitalized. Playtime is vital for a child’s cognitive development, in fact it is just as important as sleep.

5. Stop placing them in competitions, like a show pony. If you do, you are saying to your child, “You need to be better than them, and if you don’t win you are less than them.” The truth is, there is no better than and there is no less than. Teach your children the truth: we are all equal.

6. Stop forcing them to eat their vegetables. They will find their taste buds and develop a balanced diet just through your actions. You eat healthfully, they will follow in your footsteps.

7. Stop teaching them words that don’t really exist. Example: A vagina is a vagina, it is not a woo hoo. A penis is a penis it is not a pee pee.

8. If something or someone dies, say they died. I’ve yet to see the farm where all these people and animals are hanging out eating cookies.

9. If you are crying, say why you are crying, don’t make up a story about getting splashed in the face. Kids are intuitive and empathic. They know, and if you hide your feelings you send them a message that they are not allowed to be open, raw and free to express their feelings.

10. And for goodness sakes, let them dress themselves! When we force them to wear something, not only are we squashing their self-expression, we are sending a message loud and clear, “You don’t own your body. Someone else does.” This is the antithesis to promoting independence, authenticity and self worth.

Let me clue you all in on a little secret…

They know it all.

They know more than we do.

We should be listening to them.

With love, respect and a slap of truth from a fellow parent and human being,

Rebecca Lammersen

~

 

Editor: Brianna Bemel

About Rebecca Lammersen

Rebecca Lammersen is the founder of Yogalution, a donation based yoga studio in Scottsdale, AZ. I love being alive. I love being a mother. I love teaching yoga. I love to write. I love to know. I love to not know. I love to learn. I love to listen. I love to read. I love to travel. I love to dance. I love to help. I love to serve. That pretty much sums me up. Check out Rebecca's website and her articles at The Huffington Post. Subscribe to Rebecca's feed and never miss a post!

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11 Responses to “A Letter to Parents & all Other Humans.”

  1. Jenifer says:

    This is a great article, though there are two areas on which I would like to talk.

    I agree, in general, about baby-talk, and it’s not something that we used with our son. BUT, there is actually a linquistic benefit to the sing-song process that many parents use with their children (naturally, not forced). According to some study on Psychology Today (i’d link it, but I can’t find the darn thing!), the rhythms and sing-song aspects make language acquisition easier because of the syllabic emphasis. It’s partly why second language lessons do best when they involve singing, so that the rhythms can be understood. I thought that was interesting.

    In regards to competition, I feel that it is important. Competition doesn’t inherently assert that someone is “better” than someone else.

    Sportsmanship teaches us that sometimes we are better than someone else at a given thing, sometimes we are not, and sometimes we are evenly matched. It teaches us that we win some and loose some. And, it teaches us that everyone has equal dignity in the playing — that we can like our competitors a lot, and that just because we are better at a given thing than they are, doesn’t mean that we are “cooler” or “better people.”

    So yes, we are all equals, but we are also different.

    In addition, some of my greatest lessons came from competition. For me, there’s nothing better than someone to push against. And, when you are that someone whom someone pushes against, you get the real joy of passing along your own skill and providing the opportunity for someone to improve themselves.

    Good competitors understand that this is a dual process of learning. And if you are evenly matched, it’s pretty awesome to see who will rise over the other this time, and who may do so next time.

    I think that this knowledge has an incredible amount of value.

    So I’ll keep putting my child into situations where he can compete — with me, with other children. And, we’ll teach him how to be a good sport (turns out he is anyway).

  2. Valerie Carruthers ValCarruthers says:

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  3. This is wonderful, Rebecca. The dumbing things down and baby talk drives me crazy. I've always talked to my kids like, well—People! So many important reminders, thanks for writing this.

  4. Thank you for sharing this link on my post, Rebecca. I love it! And you are so right…all of this time spent in adulthood working out what was done to us as children! Respect, respect, respect is the key to a future of happy, well-adjusted people.
    Great post! I'll be sure to share it. :)
    - Gina

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