I’m All Natural, with Breast Implants.

Via on Apr 2, 2012
Photo: Rebecca Lammersen

I am a natural girl.

Mascara and the occasional eyeliner encase my eyes. I have fair pale skin that I have no intention of shellacking with bronzer. I hide my high heels deep in my closet, and excavate them like dinosaur bones on special occasions. I live in flip-flops I bought at Target. I welcome each little wrinkle that nestles itself on the surface of my skin. I love my age and welcome every year with open arms. I bow gracefully to the year behind for ripening my body and spirit and for leaving me with experiences and knowledge.

After 32 years, I can say that I have accepted my body. I am thankful for the body I have and the way it has gifted me over the years.

I love my body for granting me the freedom to experience life. I have climbed up mountains, skied down mountains, sailed the seas, traveled across the world, ran hundreds of miles, dove meters under the ocean and danced for hours on end. I can stand on my hands, my head and my feet with ease.

I have made love, given birth, breast-fed two babies, miscarried, starved myself, fed myself, hurt myself and healed myself.

I loaded 60 pounds on my petite frame with each of my pregnancies and lost all of the weight with patience, some healthy food and a daily yoga practice.

I love the strength, stamina and resilience of my body. I love my scars, my imbalances, my freckles, my moles. I love that my ears poke out just a little, and my nose has a tiny bump from falling on my face when I was four years old.

I am flawed and imperfect. I am all natural. I am all natural, with breast implants. They are a part of my body and have been since I was 18 years old.

Most people are shocked when they find out. I listen to the judgments and angry comments when a woman walks by with obvious enhancements.

“That is so gross. That is so unnatural. Why would anyone do that to themselves?”

I look up with a little grin and say, “I have them.”

“What? No you don’t!  You?”

Yes, the all natural gal on the spiritual journey has breast implants.

The woman who helps other women embrace who they are on the inside and accept what’s on the outside, has silicone under her flesh.

Some might call me a walking busty oxymoron or a hypocrite. I am not. I made a decision at the age of 18, and as my motto goes, I never regret anything I do or say because I meant to do or say it at that time. I made a choice to have implants and I am secure and content with the decision I made.

My father was a plastic and reconstructive surgeon. His work was concentrated in reconstruction of wounds and deformities, including babies born with cleft lips and palates, facial and hand deformities, burns, tumors. You name it, he did it. He removed, reconnected, restored and healed thousands of patients.

I used to go on rounds with him at the hospital and had the privilege of suiting up in surgical pajamas and headgear to observe his work. I watched as he constructed an ear out of cartilage from rib, placing it beneath the skin on the side of a little boy’s skull. I watched as he put people back together like Mr. Potato Head. I was not privy to the world of insecure women who tried to bandage themselves with a little nip and tuck, thinking it would fix the gash in their self-worth and the rift in their marriage.

At 18, I approached my father from a place of pragmatism and maturity. I was skinny. The four years of starvation had taken a toll on my body and I looked like a boy, well not really, but the boob fairy definitely forgot to visit my chest. I was not dysmorphic about my body, yet when I looked in the mirror, what I saw did not match what I felt in my heart. I felt like a powerful, sensual, curvaceous, sexy woman and I wanted that feeling to physically manifest. I loved the idea of a little curve, a little substance to my figure that I could see and feel. I knew I did not want my breasts to be my handshake, I wanted them to blend in with the landscape of my body. My dad always said, if there was anything he could do to assist me in feeling as confident as I could, he would help. Who better than the man who created me, to give me what I wanted, breasts.

I knew that proceeding with the surgery meant I would be left with a scar. Cutting into flesh never goes forgotten by the derma, but that is what made my father an artist and master. He sutured with grace.

The scars left by his healing threads were just traceable for the patient to see, so they could always remember what they had healed from. Every moment of life lived, leaves us with a scar whether in our mind or on our body. A scar is a reminder and souvenir of the choices we have made on our path.

In my eyes, scars are beautiful. We are meant to get cut, scraped and worn from our years of living. Life is one big pumice stone that erodes away our newness and replaces it with age, experience, knowledge and wisdom (if we choose to learn from our experiences).

A scar may come in the form of a memory, a scar on our skin, a tattoo, a relationship that birthed from a choice we made, a possession we own, or anything else that leaves a trail or a mark of  how we have lived and the choices we make along the way. My breast implants are two scars from a period of my life, and for that, I embrace them and my choice completely.

The decision itself is a scar upon my true path.

Photo: matthewlucas

Cosmetic alterations become dangerous to our identity and well-being when they are founded on emptiness and honored as fullness.

If a woman has a facelift and is kind, generous, accepts the people around her and lives a life of service and goodness, then a facelift is only a facelift. The facelift is an alteration, like hemming the fabric of her skirt to fit her figure.

Another woman may have the same procedure, but she does not love herself. She is not fulfilled with her life, the people in her life, or herself. Nothing satisfies her and therefore, her facelift is detrimental to her well-being. She was depending on the facelift to bring her happiness, but it never will because she is empty on the inside. She will bring her skirt to be hemmed, but be unsatisfied with the work done because she is discontented and unaccepting of her being.

There is an epidemic of addiction to cosmetic surgery today. There are people who are obsessed with altering their outside. There is a thought process that leads to a belief, the “if I only changed____, I would be happy” belief.

It does not work.

People will stuff and tighten themselves to an unrecognizable state, and the result is suffering and misery. When we are full on the inside, everything fills us on the outside too.

When I was 18, I fell in the middle on the contentment spectrum when it came to my body. I now know that the voluptuous woman I was yearning for on the outside needed to be filled inside first. My spirit was crying out to be heard and acknowledged.

So, I experimented with different methods of giving her attention. I used my breasts to get attention. In college, I flashed them on spring break in Mexico. I squeezed them into little tops as a bull’s eye to a man’s libido, and I got attention. I got attention that was vapid and insincere because I was not being sincere with myself.

What we give ourselves is what we receive from others. I was giving myself nothing. Something was missing, something was lacking. I didn’t like myself, so I lived outside myself for a while, and then I remembered the mature 18 year old that had approached her father about her outside. I addressed myself the same way. I reminded myself that my breasts were just an enhancement to my body. I told myself the work needed to be done to enhance my spirit. Sure, I did it backwards, but that was my journey. I honor and love my body for allowing me to live and function healthfully in this world, but it does not define me. Having small breasts or implants has no bearing on my depth and the goodness that resides within me. Now, I bare my soul not my breasts.

I have asked myself, “Would I have the surgery today if I had never had it done before?”

My answer is, I don’t know. The fact is, I did it and I have implants. A couple of years ago, I had to have a replacement operation. It was necessary. I did consider removing them and not replacing them, but they became a part of my body like a pet does when it is adopted into a family. They became part of my structure. I had formed a thin layer of scar tissue around them. My body had healed around them as if hugging them into place. I wanted to keep them.

In reflection, I acknowledge they assisted me in the acceptance of my body. It looked right, from the moment I removed the bandages 15 years ago. The surgery was like hanging the last painting on the wall after moving into a new house, and living with implants is like living in that new house day after day, year after year. I still notice and appreciate the painting I hung that first day, but my awareness has shifted to how good I feel living within the warm walls of my home.

We are gifted with the body we have in order to live our lives. We have free will to do with it what we want. We have a choice to take care of it, hurt it, neglect it, honor it, fix it, not fix it, renovate it or keep it the same just as we would our home. Just like any home, it isn’t the home that makes the owner happy, it is the owner that makes the home happy. My body is my home and it is now a happy home.

I know my happiness is not contingent on the size of my breasts, but I do smile when I look in the mirror. I smile at it all. I smile because my body is covered with scars of a life lived. I smile because I’ve lived another day and have wrinkles to show for it. I smile because I can still see stretch marks from my pregnancies and that scar from when I fell from my bike at five years old. I smile because I can see the happiness from the inside permeating on the outside. I smile because my breasts remind me of how far I have come—how I grew from a flat chested spirit to a voluptuous spirit. Not to mention, I really love my curves.

By Rebecca Lammersen

~

Editor: Brianna Bemel

About Rebecca Lammersen

Rebecca Lammersen is the founder of Yogalution, a donation based yoga studio in Scottsdale, AZ. I love being alive. I love being a mother. I love teaching yoga. I love to write. I love to know. I love to not know. I love to learn. I love to listen. I love to read. I love to travel. I love to dance. I love to help. I love to serve. That pretty much sums me up. Check out Rebecca's website and her articles at The Huffington Post. Subscribe to Rebecca's feed and never miss a post!

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129 Responses to “I’m All Natural, with Breast Implants.”

  1. [...] to a live round table discussion about the resurgence of silicone breast implants. My article, I’m All Natural, With Breast Implants sparked quite a conversation, well, more like a [...]

  2. Syrai says:

    Thanks for writing this… I am 40 and a yogini and am ready to fix up my house. I loved what you said about the intention behind plastic surgery.xo

  3. Lisa Brown says:

    I have a question…hoping it's not too private. How has having breast augmentation effected your yoga asana practice? I'm 5 years post cancer and considering surgery to address asymmetry. I'm also a yoga instructor and really value my practice. thank you for any information you are willing to share.

    Namaste,
    Lisa

  4. anya says:

    Oh my god thank you so kuch for this. i first stumbled on tbe article of how breast implants and yoga do not mix, and after getting them and having to get anither surgery less than a r later, felt really discouraged. tody i went to another consult because my pocket was overdissected and one of em goes into my armpit, the other one bottomed out …the doc today said i should probanly avoid yoga. and uoper body exercises. i was so traumatized thinking i made a huge mistake… then i stumbled on that other girls article… after readimg the comments i saw your link and you wrote this so beautifully… thank you. i wonder if ehat he said. was true, that if i keep doing yoga it will make them come further apart. i also wonder how the sutures are going to respond to it. if anyone knows, shoot some advice my way. thanks so much, i feel just like you do- all natural but with breast implants. taaaake care

  5. anya says:

    Excuse my typos i wrote this on my first ever touchsc

    reen phone, haha

  6. Kate says:

    I appreciate this article. I have not, and probably never will, have breast augmentation, but I have had rhinoplasty. My surgery was done in a period of my life when I was not depressed, in a very healthy relationship, and contemplated getting it done for over a decade. Being a yoga teacher, I felt (and still sometimes do) guilty about teaching "self-acceptance" and loving yourself the way you are. But this is my body, and I have an appreciation for symmetry. There is nothing else I wish to change about my appearance, and my decision to have the surgery was not done with the intention of having a happier, better life afterwards. I must admit that I feel much more confident, and I have stopped wearing makeup, which makes me feel more natural than when I had a large, crooked, and congested nose and felt I needed to wear a lot of make up to draw attention away from it.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

  7. Sam says:

    Implants aren’t forever. They often have to be replaced every ten years and some women decide to have them removed. A decision made at eighteen isn’t important but people and ideas can change. Breast implants would be fine if they weren’t a toxic plastic inside the body. Plastic is incredibly toxic to our bodies, let alone inside our bodies. I hope women consider this before choosing to make one part of their body stick out further.

  8. Carla Colwell Cook says:

    I waited 20 years and had augmentation at the age of 45. I have never regretted it. Not once. Nor do I care what others think of me for having them. I am, and have been a practitioner of herbal and natural medicine and a yoga student for years. I do not believe that what I choose to do with MY body is subject to anyone else’s opinions or judgement. I simply chose to alter the “meat suit” I’ve incarnated into this lifetime.

  9. Jakar says:

    As a man, I know I've got to be careful here but please girls/ladies, don't get implants because you breasts are small. Men like small breasts. If you are cool, your breasts are cool. Illness, childbirth etc, sure, if this has altered your body and your relationship, desperate times need desperate measures, but not because they don't conform to a male dominated culture's view on what is sexy. And what a culture, the bone headed culture of the average man.

    Only in America could we read about an 18 year old being encouraged into breast enlargement by her father the plastic surgeon.

    Rebecca you are right however to regret nothing. What is done is done. But this article just seems to add to the paranoia.

    • Shakti Yogini says:

      Wow, did my husband (or any one of my awesome ex-boyfriends) write this? TRULY you do NOT NEED BIG BOOBS to be happy or have an awesome husband/boyfriend! I am proof!

    • Heidi says:

      thanks fo writing…even childbirth and illness should be celebrated, not seen as bad!! Scars of battle!! just like men think their scars are sexy…mine/ ours are too!! celebrate!! stop destroying your bodies!!

  10. Deva says:

    You are still quite young. You may find at some point later – as I did- that they no longer serve you. I had mine removed at 45. I practice yoga and my body feels now so much better in asana and in life. It feels more peaceful actually. And I think some things about our bodies are made specifically perfect for our dharma. I'm telling you this because I was afraid that my skin would be droopy after- not the case- right back to what I had before. And I feel differently about my body now. I really love it and appreciate it. BUT, I also had braces on my teeth when I was younger and certainly don't want to reverse that. So, it's all good.

  11. tsukaira says:

    No 18 year old comes from a place of maturity. Regardless of how "mature" you think you are, the cold fact is that your brain is not fully developed until about 25, especially the frontal lobe, the area responsible for decision making. I think if you want implants, you need to wait until your mid-twenties- early thirties to make the decision with complete confidence.

  12. Maya says:

    “ I have asked myself, “Would I have the surgery today if I had never had it done before?”

    My answer is, I don’t know. The fact is, I did it and I have implants. A couple of years ago, I had to have a replacement operation. It was necessary. I did consider removing them and not replacing them, but they became a part of my body”

    … I think there is your answer

  13. Erica says:

    As an ex flat chested dancer who got implants long before I found my way on the spiritual path, thank you for this. I too, love all of me, even the "fake" parts :)

  14. Jen says:

    Rebecca, thank you for having the courage to openly share your journey! This society tells women that beauty is currency. We our more highly valued if we are beautiful. The thing is who we really are and our real talents and character are far more valuable. The way to support our real strengths and character is by going through the struggle of defining ourselves through our actions NOT our breast size. I understand that you didn’t see yourself as being beautiful as an 18 year old. Where was the unconditionally loving supportive voice of your father? The one saying “small breasts are not a character flaw and they have absolutely no reflection of your value as a woman or a human being”. The one teaching you that any person who would judge you on your naturally small and healthy breasts is a person not worthy of your time.

    I appreciate that this decision was made long ago and that the implants have now become a part of your body image and structure. The question to ask yourself is this ” Am I being compassionate with myself? Is this action or inaction supporting my journey to real connection and authenticity. ?

    I wish you peace on your journey.

  15. Sara says:

    Thank you for sharing this. Im currently 25 and I feel good about myself but my flat cheast has always been a problem for me, I even hated when in yoga class We were asked to take a deep breath and pull out our cheast because i tought no mater How deep i breath I was NEVER gong to be able to see it like everyone else. I never said that out loud before (well, write it) because i knew people will think I was crazy for even say it, and find it stupid, but like a told my mom once, no one who doesnt live with that could understand, I know it might sound superficial, but i recently got my implants anD i really feel a los better about myself, i mean i never expected them to change my life! i only did it because it felt right, anD now i know I made the right decision, I think there's nothing wrong with having surgery if it make you feel better about yourself as long as you dont expect that the surgery itself will change your life. We shouldnt be shamed for doing it.

  16. Shakti Yogini says:

    I am thin (everywhere) and I've never had a problem attracting men or feeling lovable. Is it written somewhere in the Vedas that a woman's spiritual mission involves receiving feedback from random men telling us that they want to do us? Does it bring us closer to a constant remembrance of Pure Consciousness if they do? IMHO the answer is a great big NO. I was raised to be proud of my brains and my inner goodness, not whether or not my body is an "attractive" shape; and hence the men in my life have been the sweetest, most loving, mature, spiritual men I could have ever asked for. The amazing relationships I've had were all based on an intellectual attraction AS WELL as a physical one. If I'd had big boobs the guys I was lucky enough to love and be loved by wouldn't have been attracted to me and they wouldn't have been my mirrors for the personal growth I have experienced. My husband broke up with more than one of his girlfriends after they got implants, partly because he was no longer attracted to them – not only did he hate the way they felt but it revealed how shallow they were as people. I feel incredibly blessed that I don't get nasty comments and looks from creepy over-sexed pornwatching guys like I constantly see happening to voluptuous women. It is degrading to see women still treated like objects in 2013, although clearly some of them want to be treated as such. NOT ME. I would like to think that today's yoga instructors are encouraging their young students to have pride in their bodies as beautiful temples: just the way they are. This article doesn't exactly give me hope but I'll keep praying for that anyway.

  17. narayan says:

    every time you slice into your body you are doing damage to your nervous system …that alone i would hope, would keep someone from doing a surgery of any kind especially when truly unnecessary… all disease starts in the nervous system …so when u slice into it you are leaving the body vulnerable… the way we live in the modern world does enough damage to mind body and spirit let alone putting foreign objects in our body.

    to chose cosmetic surgery is purely ego driven!… no if ands or buts … the ego in need of feeling good about the body it was given … what really is in need of addressing is the body dis morphia and the issues the writer has about her body … not filling a page with excuses for what choices she has made and then to congratulate her for being brave to tell it … brave would be coming out and saying i made a mistake i wish i could chose differently …. that would be brave… bless narayan

  18. devacat says:

    So sad. A decision at 18 lasts forever.

  19. hayogaha says:

    I am against implanting a foreign object in my body, but if I needed a stint in my heart I wouldn't hesitate. I, too was flat chested and wanted to have breast implants but couldn't afford it. I searched and searched for pictures of real women who had implants (doctors photos) and only saw a few that looked good and looked real. I only wanted them because men kept putting me down, saying things like: I though they were bigger. Or she (the one w/big tats) has a #10 body. Etc., etc.,. Yes, our patriarchy has created a nation of insecure or competitive women who spend thousands of money on clothes makeup and breast implant,s botox, but even before there was all that men still cheated, abandoned their famiiles and beat their wives. Hmmm? So what's the point? Now that I'm older and carrying a little extra weight on my body, I would give anything to have my skinny body back, flat-chest and all. Oh, and I've officially "croned" (beyond dating) myself so I don't care what the men think either!!

  20. emilyo says:

    Hmm, this makes me a little bit sad. As if by "having a flat chest" means also a flat spirit. But by having voluptuous breasts a woman can be a "real" more womanly woman. I've never experienced cosmetic or reconstructive surgery; perhaps it does encourage true nature to shine through.

  21. allie says:

    I loved your article. It gave me new insight into something I myself have been guilty of judging. I do believe that one has to make ones own decisions and that if surgery brings peace into your life and acceptance of self than it is good. The problem is often that the expectations of how surgery will change someone and the reality are often completely out of sync. Thanks for sharing your journey.

  22. madhya says:

    I'm sorry, I just don't buy it. If you really loved yourself and embraced what it is to be a woman, a real woman, you would have had your implants removed. You are perpetuating the objectification of women. We, as women, must stop letting men define what a woman should look like- and stop objectifying ourselves. When we do this, we will know our real power as women.

  23. Heather says:

    Thank you SO much for this article! I too, have implants and I hear it all the time. You??? What?? I also stand behind my decision. I was younger and less in touch, but I embrace that version of me just as much as I embrace the woman I am now. Kudos to you for writing this.

  24. Heather says:

    Thank you SO much for this article! I too, have implants and I hear it all the time. You??? What?? I also stand behind my decision. I was younger and less in touch, but I embrace that version of me just as much as I embrace the woman I am now. Kudos to you for writing this.

  25. trishaolsson says:

    Thanks Rebecca for such a brave article. I teach yoga and as well have breast implants that I've had since I was 18. Our stories and how we got to where we are make us better teachers. If we never had anything to learn from that changed us and made us see the world differently, I think we would be less interesting as teachers.

  26. nospamreceived says:

    Believe want you want, but "all-natural" & implants are contradictory terms. Unless you transplanted fat tissue from one part of your body to another.

  27. Krystie says:

    I understand the essence here, the acceptance and love for one's self, but then you go on to say you had 'flat breasts' as if you could not possibly be voluminous without breast that were your idea of the correct ratio. I disagree. I struggled with this for years, wanting implants, wanting to change my body and I am very glad that I didn't. Not to say there is anything wrong with doing it, I think it's a personal decision, but I think this article plays up a man's idea of beautiful and sexy and I think from an early age this passed down and smacking us in the face like jagged razors until we feel less than perfect. My point is, I have small breasts, they are round and perky and once I got to a place where I loved my body and really appreciated it, I found them sexy and beautiful and voluminous. I found curves when I stopped looking at the mainstream idea of curves- gentle curves around my hips, breasts, in my muscle body. I didn't need something extra to make me more uniform, my idea of beautiful and sexy changed with self-love. I used to plump up my breasts, with exaggerated padding that squished my girls so tight I couldn't even breath in a healthy manor- that made me unhappy. And I did this to create that ratio, so that it matched. I finally realize now that my ratio is beautiful, and I love it. I find it so sexy to not wear a bra when I want to, to find pleasure and happiness in my breasts. I no longer see people and gauge their breasts size, I just think breasts. Beautiful breasts. No comparison. I refuse to think of it as 'the boob fairy missed me'. All breast sizes are gorgeous, powerful, sensual, curvaceous, sexy – even more importantly this all comes from the inner woman. Thank you for your article, it comes from a loving place. I just felt this was important to note.

  28. theempath says:

    Your body, your choice. It's as simple as that.

  29. Annina says:

    Wow. Thank you for sharing this article. I have so many similarities, and can really relate. I too, have implants, which leaves a lot in my community of doulas, yogis, midwives, granola ,moms and breastfeeding enthusiasts cold. I also see them as a symbol of where I was at the time, much like my tattoos.

    I gained 60 pounds in pregnancy too. Afterward – there I was, skinny and boyish (to my eyes), after having nursed for 18 months, with no breast tissue. I have always been a beanpole, and now I felt gender-neutral. So I went for it, after lots and lots of research and what was soul-searching at the time. I was in a very influential and toxic friendship, and this friend had it done too. I may not have gone through with the implants had I not had months of her constantly talking about her desire to do it and her insecurities, and her research. But I did.

    Who I am now wished that I would have waited to get the implants until after I had my second child. I may not have even wanted them. I breastfed her, but not for nearly as long, and I had numerous problems. I was assured by doctors and lactation consultants that my problems were not attributed to the implants, but I cannot fully accept that. Who I am now wishes that I had had the strength to love my strong healthy body as it was, and accept my breasts as they were.

    Part of me wishes to remove them. But I don't know if I could do it. I would also have scar tissue, and it might look worse. I am worried that they will "break down" in my body. They are cohesive gel, which can't leak. But they can break down in the body and get absorbed into tissues.

    I enjoy them, they look great, and I don't obsess about my breasts anymore. But I wish I hadn't wanted them in the first place.

  30. Brie says:

    How did Breast Feeding work with the implants, Any fear of contamination in the Milk?

  31. Georgia says:

    I hear you sister, this is the exact process I went through including the judgement that my parents had paid for the procedure. I had always worked and supported myself and they offered as a way (in their limited awareness) to help me find the self esteem that I never seemed to have to value myself. It was hard for them to see me suffering and feel powerless, much like your dad probably did and after I told them I was going to have it done saw a way that they could try and finally help me. I'm not saying that it was the best option (as I obviously discovered post surgery that the work must be done within) or totally healthy but you know what, thats just what happened, it was where we were ALL at in our evolution at the time. Working as a holistic practitioner and healing with women mostly, I too get a response of shock when it is revealed that I have implants. At the time that I got them I thought it would be the thing that could lift me up and fill my heart (literally). Yes I was in the infancy of my awakening and self acceptance, yes I was on the tail end of an eating disorder and abusive relationship but no I don't for a second regret it as it was something that I can now see as a positive and nurturing thing. After having the surgery and realising that it wasn't the magic cure for my self worth, the REAL work began and I haven't looked back since. It was a catalyst and in the beginning I had complications with my implants when I felt guilty for having them, or fake. Literally my body was rejecting them as I was rejecting myself. Now, much like you I love them and see them as part of my body and I haven't had an issue since. To be able to have a nurturing place for someone to collapse into if they need to and to feel womanly is a beautiful thing, that with my flat chest I didn't feel I had. Sure it would have eventually come with time and inner work, but I too was young and that was the particular road that I took. So much love for you beautiful and thank you for voicing this you are brave and wonderfully authentic xx

  32. NaturalGirl says:

    As a girl, my breasts appeared in the 5th grade. Today with proper fittings, I am a 32G at 37 years old. Very Natural. With that came unsolicited attention in the middle school, amazement for males and distant from females. To each their own, but I find your article disturbing to my experience and journey around my breast size. I am much more than large breasts and I have always know that. Too bad that you could not embrace what you looked like and who you are… Your not natural from my perspective. I interpret this as you manifest a social norm that is unhealthy. So for every pre-teen male who grabbed my chest in a hallway and for everyday that a male looks down first then at my face, I guess I have women like you to thank? There is two sides to every story, but be proud of yourself and maybe keep your gel, fake tissue, to yourself in future.

  33. Julia Kadarusman says:

    Well said. I relate. Thanks for sharing :)

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