Here’s an experiment to do. It was fun for me. Maybe you hate it.
Kill your dream.
Not forever, but just for right now. There’s a good chance your dream is poisoning your food and tripping you when you’re not looking. Dreams are sneaky bastards that won’t be any fun if we blindly adopt them. Not that you shouldn’t ‘go for it’, it’s just that the ‘it’ is usually not it.
This sounds like the dumb thing to do.
Having a Dream is part of the American Religion. But so was having a house, going to college and having sex with Angelina Jolie.
Killing your dream will give you a second to actually look at it and decide if it’s for you. Are you chasing it just to chase something? Are you having fun chasing it? If you’re right on track then, tally-ho! Either way, I think anyone can benefit from taking a step back and getting some perspective.
People talk about chasing dreams. I’d rather have a dream I can live.
It’s human nature to grow. When you achieve your dream of being on American Idol, then you’ll want to win, then you’ll want to punch Kelly Clarkson in the boob, then eventually you’ll get sick of all the paparazzi.
What I’m saying is that chasing dreams will almost always result in a life of chasing X and not knowing why you were chasing it.
It’s interesting how we all have the same dreams. I want to be famous or rich or powerful. We want to be rock stars, climb corporate ladders or swim in pools of gold. Because of social pressures and other forces we’ve created a situation in which it seems everyone is going for the same thing.
These dreams of fame and fortune—always ignoring the work required to attain—may serve to inspire us for a limited amount of time but then they don’t. Then they turn on us and stab us in the back and retroactively destroy our childhoods and destroy our children’s childhoods. These colossals bring on regret and frustration and fear like no other.
Some take solace in never being able to achieve their goals; it’s a safe thing to have. It’s just a ready-made answer for the inevitable inquiry “What do you really want? What do you dream of doing?” We are trained to think that the only way to true happiness is to attain something that we surely can’t.
These dreams are usually cries of “I need more attention!” or “I want all the things!” or “Why aren’t you doing everything I want you to!?” They aren’t fantasies of doing anything—just fruits of some mystical, forgotten labor. Default dreams have some serious issues:
• They’re crowded. Creativity is hard for people who are scared of it. So the standard dreams are the toughest to chase and the most improbable to catch.
• They don’t sustain drive. It doesn’t come from you when your drive to attain is only as great as your belief in what others think you should do.
• They’re too big. They should be big. They should be scary big. But not paralyzingly big or comfortingly big. If you aim too high you won’t shoot. Going smaller builds confidence so you can take those big shots later.
It’s better to, as Kevin Smith says, “Chase whimsies.” In that way, you’ll understand where you’re at now. Each project or job or whatever isn’t a just step but a dream in itself. Sure, you may have that Master Dream that guides the whimsies, but it will be easier to stay satisfied on the way to your goal.
A ‘whimsy’ is essentially a micro dream that you can begin building now and see real progress. You know you can finish it but it’s going to be hard.
“I would write on the lintels of the doorpost, Whim. I hope it is somewhat better than whim at last, but we cannot spend the day in explanation.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Because you’re able to stay in the now—you can see whimsies forming before your eyes—and not having to keep day dreaming about being in some magical perfect place in the future you are more able to see all the badassery taking place here and now. You notice that you’re building something that is good now. Does it look like your former dream?
It doesn’t matter much. Either way, it will be a true representation of you and thus more fulfilling.
We don’t have to spend our days grasping desperately for something that’s always around the corner. Whimsies bring us the gift of constant progress—which is the gift of bigger progress. When you have this massive some day hanging over your head it’s hard to do anything but sit there paralyzed and maybe draw up the perfect plan. Maybe by the 100th draft you’ll say fuck it and hold onto a whimsy.
A whimsy is the dream of Now. It respects life because it is honest action. Chasing whimsies means that we trust ourselves. We know that our soul is on course. We are heading where we need to and the urges we have will take us there. Denying ourself the fulfillment of these micro-dreams is denying our life.
Editor: Kelly Brichta
Kyle Eschenroeder has recently lost his mind. He once found it in Chipotle. Sometimes it is hanging around www.kyleschen.com
hot on elephant
The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. A Letter to my Children: You do not come from a Broken Home. Mom, can I Call her Mom, Too? To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD. Jon Stewart makes first appearance since retiring—”it’s not your country.” Waylon shares 10 transformingly beautiful Quotes about Love. These People are Rare Gems—Keep Them, Fight for Them, don’t Give Up on Them. 40 Things I’ve Learned in 40 Years.