A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.

Via Lori Ann Lothian
on May 29, 2012
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Photo: Michael Julian Berz

If I am going to act like a goddess, I want a man who acts like a god.

Yet all this talk lately of the goddess and the Divine Feminine seems like new-age wishful thinking, a fantasy archetype with as much to do with real life as Superwoman or the Fairy God Mother.


While goddess propagandists promote the unilateral concept of a spiritually elevated womanhood—strong but supple, decisive and nurturing, wild yet wise—glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint. Women can forever rally around each other, cheerleading new heights of intuitive and open-hearted power, but without the cooperation of menfolk stealing their own fire from the gods, we are preaching to the sistah choir.

Bottomline? Organizing a spiritual revolution as women without inviting men to the front lines with us means we are orchestrating a collective reframe with only half the available power. Real change means humanity—yes both genders—opts for the cosmic upgrade to Divine Class together.

So, on behalf of the X chromosome, here is my invitation to mortal men who wish to dance as gods with wanna-be goddesses.

1. Show us your heroic heart. We know you want to save what is worth saving and to rescue this planet from peril. Wage a hero’s battle against poverty, needless strife, environmental ruin or whatever stirs your courageous heart. It might be a plan to increase your neighborhood safety, to improve your child’s education, to plant a vegetable garden in your backyard or to stop prejudice wherever you see it. The world needs your brave heart to take bold action.

2. Unsheathe your sword. As a man, you wield a sword of truth that can cut through cultural distractions to what really matters. The faster car, the better sports team, the bigger salary are all fine and dandy but on your deathbed, what unfulfilled vision will you regret the most? What risk did you back away from? What chance did you refuse to take? Before you die, be bold enough to discover and live your truth.

3. Dare to dream. Before you played the role of mortal, you (well, we) created the heavens and earth. What do you wish to create here and now? What beautiful order do you wish to bring forth from the chaos of this world. What implausible dream do you want to manifest for the greater good of all? It doesn’t have to be grand, like solving world hunger. It can be simple, like solving your child’s homework problem because you are dedicated to being a great father. All we care about is that something brings you alive with passion.

4. Steer the ship. Aim your life for a noble horizon. It’s not like there’s a second in command who will captain your destiny while you snooze on the sofa after too many beers and potato chips with the TV droning in the background. Get to the helm of your life and navigate by your own pole star, the true north of your heart’s burning desire. Tip: if you don’t know what port you’re headed for, no wind is favorable.

5. Bring your soul to work. Work for more than the mortgage and car payments—work because you find some measure of joy in your job. And if the job is just to make ends meet for now, then meet that employment with gratitude and a call to service. Know that it’s not what you do, but what you bring to what you do, that matters.

6. Care deeply. As a man, you might have been taught to feel lightly and think hard, to hold your emotions back, as if you can build a dam against what naturally must flow. But your caring is what this world cries for. The tender-hearted masculine is both wise and merciful. When you weep, you give women permission to be strong. When your heart breaks we want to know it so that we can heal it together.

7. Love fearlessly. Show us the way by standing firm when we are in a beautiful rage. Don’t run from our fury—after all it might contain magical wisdom. In the gale force of feminine anger, your calm is a powerful reminder that we are met and accepted by our beloved partner.

8. Ravish your woman. Every now and then, take her wholeheartedly, without apology. Press her against a wall and bind her with your kisses. Possess your goddess, oh great god that you are, and then let her possess you. Polarity is a potent nectar and the current runs both ways.

9. Slay your demons. We all have them, the dark part of our hearts, the crevices where our fear and loathing hideout. Notice what keeps you awake at night and stalk it. Hunt your darkness and drag it into the light for loving and healing.

10. Leave your mark. Don’t settle for a fleeting cameo in which your appearance in this kingdom is so quickly forgotten. What do you want your children to say about you? Your great-grandchildren? The greatest legacy is not the wealth you leave behind, but your heartfelt message that echoes forward to future generations.

Ultimately, this dance of the divine in both genders is not about lighting incense, chanting at kirtan, wearing white or even gathering in gender-specific goddess groups or men’s Iron John style movements designed to reclaim a lost chest-thumping masculine. Rather, it’s about being real 360-degree humans, embracing both the sacred and the mundane within ourselves and each other.

When men are willing to meet women heart-first and to live from that divine place of kingly wisdom, warrior courage and boy-like vulnerability, we women are given the gift of receiving all of you. And we are given permission to reveal all of who we are—the nurturing goddess, the juicy seductress and yes, even the nasty b*tch.

In the end, the call to a Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine is perhaps just the simple yearning to get out of our crazy-busy heads and into our still-knowing hearts. As Rumi says, “I looked in Temples, Churches and Mosques. I found the Divine in my heart.”

Whatever the divine really is, let’s find it together.


The qualities to look for in a partner:

Letting Go is Overrated.


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About Lori Ann Lothian

Lori Ann Lothian is a spiritual revolutionary, divine magic maker and all-purpose scribe. Her articles on love, relationships, enlightenment and sex have appeared at Huffington Post, Good Men Project, Yoganonymous, Origin magazine, Better After 50, XO Jane and on her hit personal blog The Awakened Dreamer. She is also the creator of The 40 Day Magic Challenge. a daily practice to create a masterpiece life of ease, flow, joy and prosperity. Lori Ann lives in Vancouver, Canada, with her husband and daughter, where she has learned to transcend the rain and surrender to mega doses of vitamin D. Tweet her at Twitter


216 Responses to “A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine.”

  1. MamasteNJ says:

    Hi Lori Ann,
    Just intro'd on FB: Love & Sexy.

  2. Mary says:

    hehehe…..very funny 😉

  3. Joseph Russell says:

    Thank u. What a great read. I have felt a long time lost as to what a man is supposed to be. The male figures that have come and gone from my life have not to b what I have been seeking and u brought up some great affirmations that make a lot of sense.
    I will keep this article. Thanks again. What a great insight u bring.

  4. Spencer says:

    I have clipped this to my Evernote and will read it once a month or more. I like #2 and #8.

  5. Allyssa says:

    Yes! It’s about time men started following in the footsteps of the awakened women of the world! We DO need them and their wisdom! Masculine energy is so beautiful and necessary. It makes me sad that so many men are disconnected from each other, from themselves, from their families, from their partners…

    This is such an important message. Thank you Lori 🙂

    • elephantjournal says:

      I can't wait for Stewart Lawrence to leave a comment.

      • yogasamurai says:

        BELCHHH….Honey, could you grab me another beer? Hey, your folks are coming over on a few hours, so if we're going to do the Tantra thing with John and his wife, we better get started. Oh baby, I just love it when you stand naked in front of the fridge like that. Could you wiggle your ass? You know how much that turns me on.

    • thanks Allyssa–we are here to play together, the masculine and the feminine currents in each of us, and between us. We don't always remember it's a playful dance, not hard work. I want that message to be clear as well. hugs.

    • Victor says:

      And it makes me happy that so many man are connected with each other, with them selves, with their families and with their partners. What you CAN do is to go towards them and tell them how much you admire that and value it. Tell them how great of a job they are doing and don't just tell them; show it to them with your whole being. Make them understand that they are on the right track.
      If no woman liked man with toys, man would not have toys.
      Often women complain about men but then they go and hang out with exactly the kind of men that behave poorly…

  6. Taigitsune says:

    A bit heteronormative for my taste, but it’s interesting food for thought nonetheless.

    • Yes, see above. The masc and fem currents are not just about gender…that is another piece. Certainly the polarity is also available, and the call, to non-hetero unions.

    • Dancing Warrior says:

      Perhaps we all need to find both the God and the Goddess in ourselves…we are beings of polarity and paradox, magic in our many guises. And we all have the right to call forth the divine in ourselvesfirst, then in others. I am female here and now, but I have within me aspects of both Goddess and God. And so do every one of us. Namaste

  7. Excellent article Lori Ann, as a man who coaches women helping to understand men in relationships, I call this period “His Hero’s Journey to Commitment”

    YOU nailed it and YOU hit a HOME-RUN.

    Well done.


    • Hi Jonathon–please friend me on facebook. I would love to know more about what you are up to in this regard.

    • DancingWarrior says:

      I am curious, Jonathan; do you have a website? I agree than Lori Ann really got it right here. I am trying to understand my fiance so that I can pursue my path while maintaining our relationship; part of this is explaining what I need as well from him and this article will help alot, I believe.

  8. progcpl says:

    I like your perspective, particularly about bringing balance to the goddesses in our lives. Yet even as I feel I exemplify many of these principles, I balance them against my Taoist motto: Know the masculine, but keep to the feminine. – Paul

  9. BEAUTIFUL, INSPIRING, and MOVING! I agree. There’s is one small implication I don’t agree with, namely “…glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint.” I personally know dozens of men, and I KNOW OF thousands of men doing their work to answer this call. Most of us doing this work are doing so with little or no modeling for what this could or should look like. Going to Mel Gibson movies does not count as modeling. Lacking this kind of modeling and mentoring, we are forming men’s groups everywhere to learn to mentor each other. Maybe it’s not enough, and maybe not fast enough, but it should be acknowledged where it exists.

    • Robert Artist says:

      Hi Thanks tons, I have been having such kinds of inspiration, also having been a Motivatioanl Speaker pulished, I accept everything shared, eill joinup where possible and applyas becomes necessary, and for progress in every way possible, and will continue to read moreparticepate in this website also share the info here. Sometimes I find difficulties if finding people who can understans such practical logical ideals, but are lameo see and apply. I welcome Paul Chubbuck's view and comment, please I am asking for his communication if possible to get some of his information on his/their groups activeties that I may be able tobecome a part of. As said i have ideas, developing to move forward with, and will continue to read follow etc Thanks tons

    • Hi Paul–I hear you! I meant we women are glaring absent in making the call to YOU, the men.

  10. Robert Artist says:

    Hi Thanks tons, I have been having such kinds of inspiration, also having been a Motivatioanl Speaker pulished, I accept everything shared, eill joinup where possible and applyas becomes necessary, and for progress in every way possible, and will continue to read moreparticepate in this website also share the info here. Sometimes I find difficulties if finding people who can understans such practical logical ideals, but are lameo see and apply. I welcome Paul Chubbuck's view and comment, please I am asking for his communication if possible to get some of his information on his/their groups activeties that I may be able tobecome a part of. As said i have ideas, developing to move forward with, and will continue to read follow etc Thanks tons

  11. Robby Artist says:

    Please see above comments
    Hi Thanks tons, I have been having such kinds of inspiration, also having been a Motivatioanl Speaker pulished, I accept everything shared, eill joinup where possible and applyas becomes necessary, and for progress in every way possible, and will continue to read moreparticepate in this website also share the info here. Sometimes I find difficulties if finding people who can understans such practical logical ideals, but are lameo see and apply. I welcome Paul Chubbuck's view and comment, Also please I am asking for his communication if possible to get some of his information on his/their groups activeties that I may be able tobecome a part of. As said i have ideas, developing to move forward with, and will continue to read follow etc Thanks tons



  12. Kris Elleb says:

    Rock On! SisStar! Speak it…yes…feeling this call to power most assuredly in our Journey to Integration and Balance.


    Kris Ellen
    Professional Sensualist

  13. cureforsanity says:

    Gender stereotype articles are crap. All of these things can be said of both genders. If you need to make lists like this, you are hanging out with the wrong men.

    • I probably should have pointed more clearly to the masculine and feminine in each of us, male or female, but this article is a piece meant to stimulate discussion, including your point that genders cannot be stereotyped…but their are archetypes, for both the male and female, such as warrior-king or maiden-crone etc. in that sense, i was drawing on the archeypes that are inherent in gender–not stereotype as you suggest. Thank you for your feedback.

    • jjthejet says:

      sir your ego keeps you from being a true critic, to deny the fact that most men are and have been lacking in the area of passion and love is to be blind of the truth. and if you see this article as a slight to men then you did not read it with open and uncritical eyes. The article is obviously one persons wish for growth within the inter connectivity of man and woman. if you were to read the article for what it is and not for how it relates to you you would see that it is to empower men and has a slight air of chastism to woman for thinking they could be goddesses with out men to support and see them that way. i run a home preschool with my lady, have long and passionately powerful conversations with her, raise my children with love and gentility but teach them with firm dicipline, i build everything from boxes to houses, plant gardens and still find time to play video games. i am man, and stiil this article inspires me to grow. look for the flaws in yourself and you will grow. and ps stereotypically more men sit on the couch drinking beer and watching tv than men who embody half of what is needed to fix all that is wrong in this world, and it all starts with men and women supporting and strengthening eachother.

  14. alrishi says:

    Lori, I agree with you wholeheartedly about opting for "the cosmic upgrade to Divine Class together". But I wonder if perhaps it's the lack of recognition and celebration of masculinity among the goddesses of the world that needs to be addressed. Instead of inviting men to embody your list of 10 things and creating a new-age litmus test, you could invite women to recognize and appreciate these same things in men. If you look closely, I'm sure you will find many men who are already embodying these qualities. I know that the pendulum has needed to swing toward the feminine and Yin values generally, and that there is still more work to be done there, but ultimately we do ourselves a disservice, individually and collectively, if we don't embrace the gifts of both genders. I do appreciate your perspective and the spirit of integration that seems to be in this article. Thank-you for being willing to step into the conversation – we need more of that!

  15. I agree with all the points on your list – and I don't think you & I get to make the list. An authentic men's movement doesn't get designed by women. We can share what we've learned from our own journey, but women defining masculinity works just about exactly as well as men defining femininity – and we all know how well *that's* worked out.

    • That too is a good point–however it's not a demand or prescription but an INVITATION….funny you say that men should not define femininity–that is true. What I am asking for from women/me is to not define the masculine, but to share with men what I/we consider the possible contours of an elevated masculine/a sacred version. In that sense, the article draws on universal archetypes. By the way, I have asked a man who is in the field of romance/passion to write up a response to this, a call to the divine feminine–stay tuned.

      • Jonathan says:

        As a man I saw it as exactly that – an invitation – and an acknowledgement that we need to work together to overcome our collective mistakes. Once I would have puked a load of bile in response. Today I ache to create this in my life. But while I am finding my way, as a man trying to break free, I need your (woman's) help:

        Show me all of you – not just the parts you think I can handle
        Don't try to fix or run from my vulnerability because it seems too deep to bear
        Trust me to be a good father and don't try to make me do it your way
        Let me be wrong and trust that I will find my way back to being right again
        Trust me to take care of you, and take risks with me
        Let me know when it's not right with respect and dignity

    • Lars says:

      I love this dialog between men and women. Thirty years ago when I became the father figure for a baby girl, I was concerned about how to honor and nurture her. I was a graduate student in social work so I started working for a local family crisis shelter. I had already begun giving away my power, and further bought into the messages I was getting that being white and male, I could not trust myself . Following this logic, I tried turning to women to help me see how I needed to be in the world as a man. The response I got was thet they were too busy supporting and protecting their sisters to do my work. I remember at a coference on domestic violence timidly sharing an observation that the women were confidently and loudly proclaiming their points while us men were tentatively asking a question or carefully, almost apologetically posing an idea. I was a real confused mess. I decided to reach out to other men in a blind leading the blind exercise. With a friend we started Mainely Men just to have a safe place to share our struggles and begin to forge a path to manhood. I am hetosexual, but for several years 90% of my physical, emotional and spiritual support came from my male friends. As I learned more about myself and established what felt like a healthy balance of masculine and feminine energy, I gradulaly emerged and felt ready to engage women as equals. I am pleased to know that my now adopted daughter has matured into this amazing, confident, loving woman.

      • Lindsay says:

        Thank you for your honest sharing, Lars. I am happy for the work you have been doing and for your journey to wholeness. I am seeking examples as well as guidance as a woman on how to encourage and support men on this journey. I really appreciate this article and all the comments.

  16. Shann says:

    Juicy and thought provoking for men and women. I am blessed to be partners with a man who slays this list and shows up every day with an open heart. I've learned so much from him.

  17. […] A Call to the Sacred Masculine: Ten Daring Invitations from the Divine Feminine. […]

  18. e.b. sarver says:

    I agree with the middle wholeheartedly, but I have to chime in with Paul that "…glaringly absent is a call to the Sacred Masculine counterpoint," put me off a bit. Your explanation that it's about women chiming in on the issue makes perfect sense, and I think you might consider editing that point into the article. As for men, several well-known men (David Deida, just for one) have been making an impact in this arena with men for a long time now.

    Also, at the end, you say: "Ultimately, this dance of the divine in both genders is not about lighting incense, chanting at kirtan, wearing white or even gathering in gender-specific goddess groups or men’s Iron John style movements designed to reclaim a lost chest-thumping masculine. Rather, it’s about being real 360-degree humans, embracing both the sacred and the mundane within ourselves and each other."

    I both agree and disagree with this. That is to say, I think our mutual alone-time with our own sexes, and the ways those have been expressed have a lot of value. True, they're not the end in itself, but the are one part in several means to the end. Doing all the work in our intimate pairings does not work for everyone, and sometimes the alone time with our own sex makes a real difference. Also, I don't see the men's movement as chest-thumping, but rather, as espousing many of the values in this very article. I've participated in a number of men's events and groups, and for the most part, we worked on many of the core issues you mention here. Sure, we did a bit of chest thumping, but that was FAR from the central focus of the work. I first encountered many of the ideas presented here in a men's circle, and might never have discovered them without it. Such places have their value.

    Ultimately, though, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. So, just learning about it with a bunch of men achieves nothing unless you do it in your relationships, your work, your social interactions with people of both sexes.

    • Hello eb–I think my line is misunderstood–glariingly absent is women including men (a call to the sacred masculine by US, not by you:-) That said, I am well aware of Deida, and have read his books, and his view informs the article as well as my own. I am heartened to hear that there are men's circles that are 360 degrees, and I used the chest-thumping to make a point (yes, to be provocative). I just want to stir up a real conversation. This piece has lead to dozens of men emailing me and messaging me, and this is HEARTENING! I want to hear from men. I am eager to dance with the male opinion, because so very often it is women who read these articles, not men. Thank you for your thoughtful comments.

      • Tim Britton says:

        Provocative, yes… You could easily have pointed at "chest thumping" without utterly mischaracterize the Iron John myth, Bly's work, and the entire neo men's movement, though even then, I'm not sure why you would see the need. Sounds like you ought to know better… do you? If not, you might want to look into it… not mention looking into yourself to see why you feel the need to throw salt in the wound… and yes, we men are struggling enough without women adding insult to injury… aside from all that, I welcome and embrace the perennial process of healing, both in men's groups and in relationship with women, as well as in the dark well of solitude…

  19. Nicole says:

    You do realize "ravish" means "rape"?

    • That is not the common understanding of ravish, which is used more often to mean–to seize, or take command with enthusiam etc. But yes, if you want to be a stickler, it is one of four main definitions for ravish–and the least used. David Deida, well known for his work on divine masculine and feminine, uses ravish like this: you know your core is essentially feminine if you want to be ravished by your partner. It is essentially male if your desire is to ravish.

      Being "taken" by a man is not the same as being raped, nor is being ravished. I think in the article, the invitation is clearly not for brutality, but ardor and passion. it's pretty evident in the context of "sacred masuline" that I am not inviting men to sex crimes.

      • Yogateacher says:

        Of course a dude would say that is at the core of feminity…because he wants to rape. You kmow, deep down, at her core, she really wants after all. Disgusting and dangerous.

    • yogasamurai says:

      But does it, in fact, in this context? It's really just a call to a deeper primal connection, and yes, for some women sex also definitely involves the strong imaginative sense of being "taken" by her man. Maybe it's just not your fare? And there's nothing wrong with that, either.

    • Dancing Warrior says:

      With consenting partners, ravishing can also mean a full surrendering to one's own, as well as another's, passion and desire. I have been raped, and I have been ravished. A lover who can truly ravish would be stopped by 'no'.

  20. I am the architect of what it means for me to be a god and no one else.

    So here is my list:

    I will answer to me.

    I will enjoy me.

    I will love me.

    I will not be a hero.

    I will not fight.

    I will live peacefully.

    I will rescue none.

    I will let all walk their own paths.

    I will expect women to decide for themselves what it means to be goddess and tell her none of it nor accept none of it from her.

    I will cry.

    I will be in turmoil.

    I will be happy at moments.

    I will be in the moment.

    I will love my kittehs.

    That is all I have to say right now.

  21. Beautifully said. Thank you.

  22. Willem says:

    Essentially stop destroying and start building.

    • zblime says:

      Very well written response! Great to hear varying outlooks on topics like this, and I much appreciate your thought and effort!

  23. Divine Feminine and Sacred Masculine are a powerful combination of a very simple love. Words get in the way and so do concepts – I appreciate the conclusion of this piece distilling back to the love in our quiet hearts.
    In the seeker generation, we seek to compartmentalize in order to make sense of the vast energies of love and how they play and intermingle and tease each other. In the end, it's all one. In the end, there is no seeking, only love.

  24. zblime says:

    Love it! Well written and very pertinent article! To put it in its' most simplest terms I'd equate it to saying Yin and Yang need to swim in the same direction and feed off the energy of each other for it to work.

  25. Hi Lori! Thank you. I like this post and resonate with what you're putting forward. (I hear you calling!) I also go along with e.b.'s comments above. (and I appreciate your response to him as well) I've been connected to the ManKind Project for over 8 years now … we're one of those men's movement organizations, with our roots in the mythopoetic and archetypal. MKP is 28 years old, nonprofit, and growing in 8 global regions.

    The 'Sacred Masculine' is alive and well, and way beyond 'chest thumping'. I believe we are close to a major cultural tipping point. The conversations, circles, trainings, and communities of men that I am in are growing MORE AND MORE integral (360 as you say), diverse, and cross-generational.

    I wrote a piece called "The New Macho" in response to stories about 'the end of men' in some major magazines. I would love you to read it! Scroll down below the fold at http://mankindproject.org. And feel free to share! It's been shared over 5000 times on Facebook now. There are men and women listening out there.

    We're out here. Thanks for calling us out!! – Boysen Hodgson, MKP USA

    • Hello there Boysen–thank you for the encouraging words. Perhaps yes, the ardent minority of men actively discovering and exploring a deeper and more integral masculine, is a tipping point in the making. I will certainly read your piece. I am encouraged by your words–please FB friend me if we are not yet friends.

  26. Alexandra says:


  27. Scott says:

    Hot! Challenge Accepted!

  28. Heather says:


  29. Richard says:

    A step in a better direction. I am surrounded by self-proclaimed goddesses, and frankly, many are sexist a-holes. The divine feminine and goddess movement is too often an excuse for elevating oneself merely for being female and perceiving oneself as “better” than a male. Posit whatever justice-making rationale you want for such overtly hurtful and harmful behavior, but you are not helping yourself or others by competing in any way with the opposite sex. I agree that we all need to embrace our divine nature – BOTH masculine and feminine – within each and every one of us not separately according to body type. This author makes the same mistake in her wishful thinking about the divine masculine. If you re-read this entire thing and imagine it was written by a man imploring women to have the listed characteristics you would be hard pressed to say that none of these things apply to women too. The point? Quit polarizing masculine and feminine as imperatives outcomes of a set of chromosomes. It is NOT a universal truth as I’m sure there are planets with more than two genders… including our own … and my male chromosome doesn’t make me any less feminine in terms of my divine nature. Embrace it all.

    • Richard–yes. I am well aware that the currents of masculine and feminine run through each gender. I am writing to say, what most embodies the expression of each, in a singular gender. Admittedly, I could and should perhaps have addressed that male/female is an archetype in it's own right, with active/passive, giving/receiving, spirit/form polarity. Ah, but that will be for the book 🙂 And I hear you, that goddess groups are often an excuse to hate men, passive aggressively.

    • Thanks for a balanced reply.

  30. yogasamurai says:

    The stand-up guys commenting here are really, really out-classing the ladies. Rock on, brothers. Yes, we're a powerful world apart at this point – and loving it. Who knows, maybe we'll invite the women to the Divine dance soon? We just might not, though. It's too good the way it is.

    I do understand the deep longing and lack of fulfillment that underlies the original posting – but seek and ye shall find, Sister.

    • Hi yogasamurai–this love ninja is not writing from a personal angst–my man is many of these expressions already. The trigger for this piece was two fold–a beautiful image of a man, taken by a male photographer, that captured my imagination and heart. And walking through the Palm Springs airport last month and seeing so many men coming into town to golf, and seeing that in my mind, they were recreating over creating–that they had taken leisure and pleasure to be goals over constructive potency in the world. This of course, is a projection. But it triggered my creativity and this piece.

      • yogasamurai says:


        One caveat, though: there are lots of female golfers, and increasingly golf heroines – Michele Yie, among them, who are role models. I don't golf, but lots of people swear by it, and find precision, grace, majesty – and a deep calm – in its practice.

        One of the finest spiritual books I have ever read — Golf in the Kingdom — written by the man who founded the Esalen Institute — makes the powerful case that golf practiced the old way – as originally intended – is a profoundly spiritual activity that can actually enlighten the practitioner.

        Perhaps the modern, commercialized leisure sport of golf that you sensed in the airport isn't much different from the modern commercialized leisure sport of yoga that one so often sees in the fitness studio.

        "they had taken leisure and pleasure to be goals over constructive potency in the world." No kidding!

        • On that note, if you've ever watched "The Legend of Bagger Vance" (a golf movie), you''ll note that its actually a retelling of the Bhagavad Gita!

          • yogasamurai says:

            Interesting, I haven't watched the movie (With Brad Pitt?), but I might. When Hollywood mixes spirituality and sport, the result is often rather hokey. Golf in the Kingdom was also made into a movie a couple of years ago

            Nowadays there's a burgeoning mindfulness "market"! Aimed at a specific demographic, and what's called a "psychographic" (lifestyle and way of thinking) Yoga is becoming a key part of this market, and marketers are engaged in nothing less than a feeding frenzy right now.

            "All that is holy is profaned. All that is solid melts into thin air."

            Karl Marx, on the impact of "commodity fetishism."

            Thanks for sharing that.

          • yogasamurai–I hope we are FB friends by now! Love your responses vs reactions

          • yogasamurai says:

            I love my responses AND my reactions. Sorry, you don't get to order people a la carte. Unless you're a control freak? Oh, must be reacting again, THANK YOU JESUS!

          • yogasamurai says:

            FB? Never seen you there!

  31. Erik says:

    Sacred Masculine? Great. A woman giving an outline of what that should look like? No thanks. Picture a man giving such a list to women. No matter how much good stuff was on the list, that man would rightly be told to mind his own business. We should steer our own ship? Great. We’ll start by throwing out the list and making one of our own. Lady, take off the captain’s hat. Empowered women are badly needed and much welcome. But this isn’t the ship they should be expecting to steer.

    And I’m tired of writers talking about revalorizing the masculine by linking it to sex with the feminine. Firstly, if we’re to find our power, we need to do it to find the fire in own hearts as our primary goal, not to warm the fire in hers. Not as the primary. Consider how silly women’s empowerment would be if its only real goal was landing the right man. That’s not the Feminine Mystique, that’s Cosmo. Hey there, fish. Enjoy your bicycle.

    Secondly, every such claim alienates our gay brothers. And if we’re to find our fire we need that brotherhood, the brotherhood of all men. How are we straight men to find our way to women if we won’t do the work to first reconnect with our brothers? The assistance we need in this process needs to come from each other, not from without.

    Finally, when women find their power without men’s interference, it falls to we men who trust women to trust that that process is theirs. We have to trust that they will be stronger, more resilient, more at peace, more engaged by their lives. We have to trust that as strong men, we’re strong enough to share the making of the world with strong women. We have to trust that their power will not do us ill, of course. But we also have to trust that for some to follow that thread means they will find only anger and distrust of us. We have to trust that our not being stewards of that process means that we may not like where that process takes some of our sisters, but it’s not our choice and we’re strong enough to cede space for them in that. Well, the same goes here. Women have to keep their hands off this process and trust men to find our way through it. Even if in some cases they don’t like where some men end up. Giving us a road map and a shopping list of what we’re supposed to bring home when we’re done? That’s not that trust.

    Don’t get me wrong. I love that women are supportive of the process. I’m deeply supportive of that process in women, and everyone finding their fire makes for a better world. However, we need a welcome, not a call.

    • Picture a man giving such a list to women.

      I've asked a few men to do just that. I want to know what a man wants.

      The piece is not a demand or prescription–it is an invitation. It is not about telling a man to be something. It is about revealling to men what women yearn to experience in their men.

      • Paul says:

        That seems pretty dismissive given that numerous men have reacted that way. You've struck a chord in the experience of men with women who are overbearing, condescending, demanding and feel morally superior. You started out by saying this not happening, that it is a glaring absence, rather than appreciation for the men that do the things you like and men's movement that is handling this. The things you say are good, i think you would find a lot of agreement and I is good to know you are thinking about this and intending to help. But there is a subtle/blatant difference in attitude that can change your results. 😉

    • Erik,
      Thanks so much for this. I was about to write a response but you said it all!



  32. dee vine says:

    Great job lumping all sorts of human traits into sexualized compartments. Of course you'll need a man to do all of these "divine masculine" things since you've disowned half of your own humanity while chasing "the perfect divine feminine". I'm sure you'll find an equally unbalanced man who's disowned all of his "feminine" traits, and finally, the two of you will be able to cobble together your two half personalities into one semi functional human being.

    • If you read the piece, there are many "feminine" traits I call a man to own–care deeply (tender hearted), just one. I am asking for a man to be 360 degree human–I am asking the same of women (by saying, sitting around in goddess circles and excluding men is not healthy or effective). It is interesting to see how people read into this piece what was not written, but rather take from it what they want or need to see in order to stay angry and defensive.

  33. grow up says:

    and if you men do all of this then and only then will we "goddesses" be able to be happy… that is until you finally wake the fuck up and realize your the problem, your constant unhappiness and blame of man for it is getting so overplayed by the spiritual bullshit that you spew all over everyone. your setting up more "us against them", WE are humans, WE are trying to figure out what we are doing and what we want. I'm so sick of the new age bullshit that says men need to change in order for relationships to work and for women to thrive.

    • YOu sound angry. Very angry. I would suggest this article has triggered something in you that needs to be looked at. What in the piece threatens your sense of manhood?

      • grow up says:

        I'm going through a break up… so I'll just say I'm a little bit out of sorts. In our relationship I was the one doing all of the communicating, inviting, getting vulnerable. yet it was all the faults that I owned that she now gets to rest in due to her doing no work on herself. I opened up and now I'm pissed that I opened up to someone who couldn't/ wouldn't meet me.
        I'm not sure it's my masculine that being threatened, it's more that I don't think it's a mans job to open a women up. it's as if Walt Disney princesses have all grown up to be new age spiritual goddesses.
        I do regret putting negativity on your wall. I was in it big time when I read your words and yes it spun me out for sure. so for that deepest apologies.

  34. Caelan Huntress says:

    This invitation is long overdue.

    Thank you for accepting men, manhood, and the male energy in the awakening of the Divine Feminine. Awakened men are currently without a rallying cry, a banner under which we can convene, as we watch the Divine Feminine gather in gender-segregated groups.

    Here in Costa Rica, where I live, there is a quarterly Solstice / Equinox gathering to celebrate the divine feminine, and women and children are the only ones allowed to attend.

    As a man, I have felt left out of the awakening, watching on the sidelines. Nevertheless, the masculine energy has a role to play in the evolution of the Divine Feminine as well.

    Thank you for inviting us to celebrate with you. As all good-hearted, spiritually awakened men know, we are stronger when we invite our counterparts to evolve with us, and I hope to see more awakened women extending this invitation as well.

  35. Sorel says:

    I really enjoyed your article Lori. And it seems like you have had to reinforce a number of times in your response to the comments that you were also speaking to the play of feminine and masculine in both men and women. I have the following on a little sticky on my computer monitor: “Nature longs for opposites and effects her harmony from them” – Aristotle. I found this in a book that I think is germane to this conversation and is a total paradigm shifter in the discussion and embodied discovery of the balance of masculine and feminine in each of us. It is called “New Self New World” by Philip Shepherd and he is a fellow Canadian doing ground breaking work on this issue. If you are going to write more on this I highly recommend you check his book out and contact him. His website is http://www.philipshepherd.com. Thanks for your work! Sorel

    • Thank you for the reference. I will check it out.

      • Paul says:

        That is an interesting guy you mention: here is my comment on his blog about his book.

        The theme of your book is great: living in the head versus the body. But your characterization of the problem as male consciousness, is full of landmines for anyone interested in creating connection and love in the world. It sounds so far like a theory of patriarchy that blames men. So men are inherently evil, is the default explanation here, although proponents of this view deny it.

        A better explanation of gender is found in Warren Farrell’s book, The Myth of Male Power. The real issues is societies based on assumptions of scarcity and fear, which lead to hierarchies in which men have to perform and females help select the performers who are worthy of breeding under sex as procreation. Farrell’s evolutionary view is an alternative to the simple essentialism of the theory of patriarchy, even held among people who call themselves social constructionists.

        • Sorel says:

          Hi Paul – thanks for your comments. I would suggest that you read the book. New Self New World is about as far from a blanket discussion trumpeting patriarchy as the problem and blaming men or making them inherently evil as you can get. It is, plainly, beyond such basic analysis. It is subtle, profound, totally paradigm shifting in an uplifting and completely regenerative (for men and women alike) way. The book is an exquisite discussion that brings the reader to only ever greater connection and love to themselves and their inherent masculine and feminine energies (our humanity), greater connection to others, to the world, to The Oneness inherent in the world. The primary thing it does is bring us to a recognition of our inherent Wholeness. So it is my humble opinion that there are no landmines. Just opportunities to revolutionize the way we experience this human experience.

  36. aleXander says:

    What – no turns for him to be a “goddess”, or for her to be a “god”?

    This idealized masculinity – alas, is basically, “machismo” reinvented. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machismo.

    Well, with a little vegetable gardening thrown in.)

    Basically this is the author’s fantasy transposed to being a doctrine for men, these gods-to-be. The list might create performance-anxiety in mortals: keeping this “god” thing up (pun intended) 24 hours a day is an unrealistic demand.]

    Ayn Rand had to write fiction to make it possible.

    [Sure – role playing can certainly be fun (all that unsheathing and ravishing), and if the author wants to play “goddess” and for her man to pretend to be Mel Gibson and aggressively captivate her – sure, that can be sexy, and more power/pleasure to ’em.]

    But – my experience with men (60 years on the planet, bisexual) the male gender role proscription (“leaving their mark”) has way too much “god” in it already – look at the “Gods” men have invented over the centuries.

    • LOL on the performance anxiety. It's not really a fantasy of mine, these ten invitations, it's simply my yearning for what might be possible in well rounded masculine. By the way, i've invited some men to write their call to the feminine and I look forward to seeing what a 360 degree woman might look like

  37. Jens says:

    So true! And I have to admit that the Iron John movement brought me much closer to be that kind of man, because most things you demand play an important role there.

  38. A wonderfully pointed yet balanced inquiry and invitation! We need the fullness of each and all of our aspects to be fully incarnate in this life – whether alone, in communion, or in community. Aho!

  39. yogijulian says:

    beautifully done!

  40. Chad Stose says:

    As a man who has male lovers, I always find this kind of discourse to be kind of silly whether it comes from a gay or straight crowd.

    I experience this article as a new age, not yogic, response to a culture wide gender imbalance that occurred in the 80s when women dressed in linebacker shoulder pads to break through the corporate glass ceiling and masculinity was torn to shreds by second wave feminism. The flavor of this article reminds me of hearing John Friend talk about Lakshmi's "ripe pendulous breasts that even my gay friends admire" at the Anusara Advanced Intensive in LA a few years back. To the point, I invite us to be cautious and default to a larger perspective.

    When I partner with another man, our bodies are pretty similar, so it's a great reminder for me, and really all of us, that we have these two energies within each of us and through our attentiveness and cultivation, we can find a balance that works for us. This is a very personal experience. For further reading, I highly recommend the book, Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein.

    Adding the extra labels, "Divine" or "Sacred," seems counter intuitive, and these labels are regrettably overused and create extra barriers to an authentically stripped down practice – an attempt to look at our reality, as it is. These energies are basic and not complicated. We make them more complicated than need be by giving them such labels as if they were somehow beyond normal, yet they are a part of our basic nature.

    • Hello Chad–please read my reply to the fellow below to understand what I mean by Sacred and Divine. In the meantime, I love this line of yours "women dressed in linebacker shoulder pads to break through the corporate glass ceiling and masculinity was torn to shreds by second wave feminism." It made me smile. And yes, masc and fem are not about gender, but about qualities in each gender. Yet as you have surely experienced in bed with your man, polarity happens because one of you (even though in a man's body) will be accessing more of the feminine current. This is key–and my invitation is not just for men to become more macho–in fact I ask them to care deeply/weep, which is a more feminine trait. The call to the Sacred Masculine, if you read it carefully, is a call to a 360 degree, or integral man. You would likely enjoy this piece by me as well- -http://www.elephantjournal.com/2012/03/the-rise-and-fall-of-the-rapacious-woman-lori-ann-lothian/

  41. Paul Hess says:

    I don't understand why anyone needs to be called a god or goddess. The thriving men's movement does not feel a need to call men gods. So why is there a goddess movement? The politics behind this is a feminist politics that actually believes women are morally superior to men. As Lola Jone said, "Worshipping the goddess is usually just an attempt to overthrow the masculine. This is based on a simplistic theory of patriarchy, which claims that men as a whole have more power and privilege. This has been thoroughly refuted by Warren Farrell and others, with almost total resistance from feminists to hearing that–there just is hardly any rational conversation at all. So who wants to be really honest, get the facts and really come from the heart? In 12 years of raising this issue, not many people are willing to admit they were wrong and look at their assumptions and motives in order to create better connection between men and women.

    • Paul–are you saying that men do not dominate in polictical office and they have not historically been paid more for the same job? I don't think you are suggesting this, but I am not sure what you are saying. I will look at who Warren Farrell is, and what he has written, but let's not forget that women only in this century got the right to vote! As for worshipping the Goddess being about overthowing men, I don't see that–first off, women really are not worshipping the goddess as much as invoking their own inner-divinity to the forefront. It's not about a power OVER others but accessing a power within ourselves–just as men too have a non-mundance (numinous) aspect to who they are as well. Call it God, Hero, King, or whatever you will, it is simply the invitation for a higher archetypal nature to come into action within the lives of men, and women.

      • Lori,
        Something you seem to overlook is that while men have traditionally ruled in the business and political spaces, women ruled in the home. Now that (at least in this country) women are the majority of the workforce, are starting to make more than men, and have for years been earning more advanced degrees…the tide is turning.

        An interesting part of the new reality is in couples where the woman is working and the man is at home. As well outlined in Hanna Rosin's article "The End of Men" in the Atlantic Monthly, these women are becoming the alpha on the business side of their relationship but refusing to cede their leading role in the household…leaving men on the bottom in both counts. I hear about this all the time from men in such situations and its causing them, after trying to rectify it, to lose interest in being in such a relationship (wouldn't you?). This seems to be a growing trend and I'd like to hear your take on it, in the spirit of what you outline in your article above. If you can address this dynamic in your book. it could be a great service to many people.

        Our roles are changing and while women have been carving out their own new path for decades, we men are playing catch up in figuring out what our roles will be in this new landscape. So far, most of the public voices pointing men in new directions have been from women and no matter how well thought out or well intentioned they are, ultimately its our path to seek for ourselves. Nonetheless, I thank you for caring enough to offer some real substance for consideration.

  42. Sean Cameron says:

    Wow… The sheer terror this article obviously inspires in so many men really underlines the problem; guys often are scared shitless when femininity challenges them. The redirection into argumentative comments and intellectualizing is blatantly insecure. Also helps me understand something I’ve been wondering for awhile: In the men’s circles I attend, I sometimes feel like a loner for actually having an amazing and healthy relationship with a woman.

    Here’s the thing guys, when they make these calls and you bitch and whine and justify and avoid, it breaks womens’ hearts. Plain and simple. They are not out to get us, and we do just as good a job at twisting ourselves into something unusual as they ever try to. They just NEED this from us in a way that is intrinsic to their nature… or at least that is what makes sense to me and clicks with what my heart feels.

    Nothing will hit you repeatedly in the face, screaming “Wake the fuck up and deal with your shit!!” more than having a deep, caring, intense and intimate relationship with an amazing woman… That’s just the way it is and yes it is scary shit but c’mon… they are worth it 🙂

    • Sean Cameron, women readers are surely cheering you on. I would love to use some of your comments in my next piece, which is "What the men had to say to the Call to the Sacred Masculine." I've had dozens of private emails too–some angry and defensive, others like yours, appreciative and reflective. Please also FB friend me if we are not yet connected on FB.

    • yogasamurai says:

      I think a lot of people – women as well as men by the way, you seem to have missed that – are just reacting to a certain presumptuousness on that part of the author. And that's entirely appropriate, as is your reaction, because it speaks to you

      Ultimately it's a two way "call." All powerful love relationships that endure – and aren't simply one-sided Muse-like enchantments – are mutual challenges, and mutual elicitations. Sometime the man starts the dance, sometimes the woman. Cheers

  43. Chris says:

    Nicole · 1 day ago
    You do realize "ravish" means "rape"?

    That is a potential definition.

    To overwhelm with emotion; enrapture.
    To give great delight to . . .

    As soon as you start talking 'Rape', men will be put off by this. Our sex is subjugated enough!
    It is NOT rape – Is it just 'being a man' – And letting the woman know she is the presence of a real man.

  44. trueayurveda says:

    Identification. Attachment. Non-contentment to the point of action. "inviting" the external to change due to one's expectations and hopes or rather desires. What does this have to do with yoga or divine or sacred?

    • Paul says:

      Good points. And Judgment: be this, do that.

    • We lead lives at the ultimate and proximate level–to "transcend" the here and now is missing what matters. It's a playground, this thing called life. It's not to be fixed, but rearragned, re-inevented, rediscovered. I for one, post my own awakening, have felt no desire to sit on a mountain top removed from the world. I am content. But I am also playfully drawn to action….this piece was not written from a place of personal agnst…it was written from a place of creative freedom.

      • trueayurveda says:

        It is really quite funny. Such pain-pleasure principle going on. Instead of doing the only thing that there is to transcend it, we write articles and blogs expressing ways of enabling each other to stay where we are.

        Without knowledge and a template, there is no actual process. The experience, be it from a valid template that holds true, is what gives the knowledge the alchemy to become wisdom but only thru discernment. This cycle continues to go on and it is called evolution.

        De-evolution – continuing to do the same thing which is not beneficial. In time this causes dis-ease and pain. Not only in the short but in the long as it also diseases those around us and also our progeny. This is also without the form of above. No experience or experience guided only by ego creates the downward spiral. Laziness grows to hoarding and jealousy and greed. The downfall continues. We clog up and can't tell our heads from our asses much less have any clear or healthy experience.

        To say that one needs to be alone on a mountain top to transcend is ridiculous. But not as ridiculous as running a hamster wheel and inviting others along. Desires are desires, you feed em and they grow. There is nothing outside of you that will fulfill you yet you want to tell someone how to be. More so you cloak this in "spiritual words of daring invitation" to fulfill the lack inside and at the same time project that lack into the universe as how men are not, and it is up to your judgement?

        Spiritual, no. Sacred, no. Ego, yes.

        As you take the route of creative freedom to release you from responsibility, may i ask you……. What is the sacred masculine and divine feminine but the new key words to get something published? They have been worn into the ground of oblivion by the anusara lingo crew. When you take poetic rights to change anything to your liking, well, it grows, then everyone is doing the same and the homogenous mix lacks any truth of what it truly is.

  45. morpheus says:

    real men and women don't send their kids to school/prison or homeschool them coercing them to bend to their will forcing them to learn anything and they don't leave their kids in cribs screaming all night they let their kids sleep with them in bed with them

  46. Great ideas and thanks! I do take umbridge with the crack against the Superwoman and Fairy Godmother archetypes though – they are both alive and well in our modern world albeit not always in obvious ways. http://archetypist.com/2010/03/25/ofgm-original-f

    • I loved your link–yes, of course you are right in deep jungian view, all archetypes are alive and well. I was being flippantly clever vs archeyptally astute, playing a bit of the Prostitue to get my point across. (trading intellectual accuracy for popular appeal). I really like your work, Julienne, your site is comprehensive and easy to read.

  47. Jeff Brown says:

    I just love this piece. Many of my brothers are having a hard time clarifying what an awakening man looks like, feels like, moves like. Trapped as we are in a survivalist consciousness, with one hyper-vigilant eye on the door and another mistaking accumulation for safety, we seldom step out from behind our wall of armour to consider other pathways of possibility. Lori Ann’s piece helps to bridge the gender-ation gap between the world we know best and the next step man, a tenderling warrior who is readying to do the hard work (divine perspiration!) to honor his truth-aches and swap his quest for egoic success for something more authentic- the path of the in-powered, inclusive, receptive heart.

    In words I used long ago, I look forward to the day when we can meet one another in our true nakedness, stripped free of unresolved emotions, pain-induced projections, the distortions of duality. For too long we have been on opposite sides of the river, the bridge between our hearts washed away by a flood of pain. But the time has come to construct a new bridge, one that comes into being with each step we take, one that is fortified with benevolent intentions and authentic self-revealing. As we walk toward one another, our emotional armour falls to the ground, transforming into the light at its source. And when we are ready, we walk right into the Godself at the centre of the bridge, puzzled that we ever imagined ourselves separate.

    • Jeff, what strikes me most from your reply is your lack of defense. What I have noticed more than anything is how this piece either hits men as a possible inspiration, or it hits them like a punch to the solar plexus, as if I am telling them what is wrong with who they are in the world. I sat outside with a former boyfriend, a trained counselor, who gave me some suggestions in an first draft to soften the piece by making sure it was clear that this was an INVITATION, not a DEMAND or PRESCRIPTION. Yet, two days after the piece was published, he confessed even he was triggered emotionally by the "call" and had to deal with his own sense of inadequacy. This saddens me, because of course, communication shuts down when emotional wound/story puts up a wall of defense. Thank you from this feminine heart, for your openess and wisdom.

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