Dying, Living, Being Born & the Journey In Between.

Via on May 26, 2012

They say that when one has a near-death experience, they come into full contact with the light.

It’s nearly impossible to express it in words. The realm of linear has its limitations. It’s a body sensation, a body memory, a feeling, a meeting, an all-encompassing sensory and kinesthetic experience.

You know those stories about people that come this close to dying and they come back to life alive? Quite literally, they’ve changed, they’re renewed, they know something, they saw something, they’ve met something. It’s like they’ve touched some sort of deep secret that’s really not such a secret after all.

Well, how about after having a total of three near death experiences? It’s not even an option to return back to a fragmented state of being and living when one has come into contact with such states. It can be confusing and reality shattering at first. It was for me. I lived years in confusion. I had no one to talk to about what I was experiencing, I doubted it, I questioned, but still, I knew it was true—it had embedded into every fiber of my being. Regardless of what my rational mind was trying to say, my body knew it. It happened.

The first one, an impression had been made— right in between the scale of vague and pressed. The second one, okay the doubt I had, had now subsided. I was trusting a bit more. And after the third one? Holiest of holies—okay, shi*t. This is real. Such pivotal, monumental and sequential events—what are the chances? Well, there’s really no turning back after that.

The first time I almost died was when my birth mother put a pillow to my face after I was born.

I don’t remember this memory, but this is the story I’ve been told. She might have had postpartum depression and/or wasn’t ready to take on the role of mother to raise a child. She ended up leaving and I was then taken care of in turns, by my grandparents and my aunties. Soon I acquired a new mother, whom I thought was my real mother until the age of 15. Will get into this story more later.

The second time I almost died was from overdosing from pills.

I took a ridiculous amount—50 or so, 16 years old, found in the bathroom, woke up in the hospital. I remember glimpses, mainly my eyes opening in the hospital bed after my stomach getting pumped with charcoal. I can almost still taste the insides of my mouth. Grandma’s eyes were the first ones I saw—she had been crying. She was really sad. I closed my eyes again.

The third time, years later—on the night of my birthday—I met someone who would then change me for the rest of my life.

I met my first Shaman teacher. The me who I thought was me, died. My egoic identiy of who I thought I was as a separate self, shattered and obliterated. Any delusion of separateness within my consciousness I had of the entire human experience—kaput—gone and pounded out of my system.

I remember being on the gravel outside in Santa Monica, I could see the stars and I was scared for my life. My body was getting thrashed onto the pavement. Repeating the mantra Om Aim Kleem over and over and over again, praying praying praying as the medicine cleared out my body in a very brash and aggressive manner. Laying there with absolute and complete surrender, as if getting thrown down by a mighty physical force, when really, it was all coming from inside of me. Karmic debts being paid back, revealed and pushed out of my mind, body and field. I know this sounds crazy, but to some of you—maybe not. For the first time, I met God. There’s a lot more out there then what you may think or perceive.

I studied and took plant medicine for a year, once a month partaking in ritual during 2009. Plant medicine will heal, awaken, transform and ignite every cell, every ounce, every particle of the human bodymind. I am a huge advocate of plant medicine, if done right, if done with clear and pure intention and if held in a space of Ram.

In between the second and the third death experiences, there was of course that period of time where all I did was drink Jack Daniels and snort cocaine for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Daily—as my escape, as my means of control and coping, as my own sick ritual to forget about the pains of life, subconsciously attempting to kill myself off with every cigarette I smoked and every drug I had put in my body. Nothing worked and then I moved to heroin. Still, I was alive—doing everything possible to kill myself, something was keeping me alive.

Thank you God for protecting me. Thank you pranayama for healing my inner body, organs and nostrils. Thank you plant medicine and yoga for saving my life. Thank you meditation for healing my heart. Thank you cranio sacral therapy for healing my mind and my body. Thank you God for healing me. Thank you God for healing. Om Namah Shivaya.

Consciousness is a funny thing. And now my job is just this—to serve her and to serve you. I hope in relaying my experiences you may begin and/or continue to awaken to the consciousness living within and inside of you.

Om Aim Kleem. May all beings be free from pain and suffering. May all our thoughts, actions, speech and hearts—contribute to peace. Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu. Om Shanti Shanti Shantih.

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Editor: Lynn Hasselberger

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About Chloe Park

Chloe Park is an Artist, Spiritual Teacher, Yoga and Meditation Instructor, Holistic Healing Practitioner, Life Coach, Women's Empowerment Leader, Social Change Activist and Ethnobotanist. A traveling Healer and Teacher, she roams the Earth to share her message: unconditional love, self-healing and awakening. She uses the medium of writing, holistic healing, medicinal plants, yoga and meditation to help all those along the Path to attain harmony with mind, body and spirit. She is devoted to facilitating the space for Healing, Love and Truth and is passionate about bringing ancient practices and traditions into the modern times we live. Her intention with her writing is to offer Q&A for all those who are engaged in the dialogue. Chloe also writes for MindBodyGreen, Healthline, WorldLifestyle, and Yahoo Shine!. To stay connected with her current projects, retreats, teachings and traveling schedule, find her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/chloeparkhealing or visit her website: www.chloeparkhealing.com. Spiritual counseling and life coaching sessions with Chloe are available via Skype. May we all wake up together. ॐ

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5 Responses to “Dying, Living, Being Born & the Journey In Between.”

  1. [...] this anniversary week of the beginning of my life, I am elbow deep in the monstrous task of breaking the cycle of some specific self-sabotaging [...]

  2. [...] “died” for a week in 2010. It was cool. I highly recommend it to anyone who is curious. Man, there ain’t no cure-all like Death,with a capital D? Seen on paper I had done it [...]

  3. [...] may have those solutions to look forward to but the rest of us don’t have that kind of time; the clock is ticking and people are beginning to take matters into their own [...]

  4. Ali says:

    Great Article, and exactly to the point. Sometimes it is scary what happens to us after our physical journey on Earth, but it is true. Thanks

  5. [...] It’s the account of Dr Eben Alexander III, a Harvard-educated neurosurgeon who said, “As a neurosurgeon, I did not believe in the phenomenon of near-death experiences.” [...]

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