You Don’t have to Suffer from Depression for One More Stinkin’ Minute.

Via on May 22, 2012
Photo: JaneArt

Did you know?

Unless there is a physical reason for your depression you don’t have to suffer from it for one more stinkin’ minute.

If you are depressed, try this: Stand still for one minute. Just observe your feelings, perceptions and thoughts.

Follow the feelings through to beyond this moment into the future.

See how you feel.

Watch as you create the past into the future. You have an expectation that how you just felt is how you will feel.

You just took the first step out of depression in becoming aware of yourself. 

If you distract yourself from your emotions, you stay depressed.

Waiting for someday for your life to begin, it won’t, because you’ll still be you with those old thoughts, limiting beliefs and same ol’ approach.

Remember, many yesterdays ago, you thought you’d be happy by “now,” but hey…”right now” is your future.

Let’s look at six causes of depression.

1. Denying  joy.

You don’t deserve joy, love, happiness, etc… until you’ve achieved, blah, blah, blah. I say b*llshit, because even when you achieve all those things, you’ll still have the same limiting beliefs that suffering and punishment are somehow the road to happiness.

2. Withholding.

Yuck, ick, bummer. You keep it all inside you, pushed down, shoved around…no one knows what you really feel. Where do you think that unexpressed emotion goes? It gets moldy layered in fear. The fear to recognize or be vulnerable with your feelings from your heart. You don’t trust yourself or anyone not to hurt or disappoint you. It’ll happen and you will survive.

Withholding is slow suffocation. You create obstacles making the relationship or situation fail. It’s a guarantee, because your limited beliefs say “this is what you deserve.”

3. Victimhood.

It all happens to you. He did this, she did that, there was an earthquake, I didn’t gain weight my pants shrunk …it says I have no control over my life. It says I have no say and I make no choices, it’s too hard to change things or it’s my excuse to wallow in depression; its comfortable and safe. I do what is expected or adhere to my own limited perception, because I control nothing. It’s the blame game.

That little voice in your head…that’s you as a child.

It reminds you of your childhood where you chose labels for yourself. It gave you a place and a kooky idea of who you really are…and it ain’t true!!!!

Photo: böhringer friedrich

4. Lack of love.

When you feel a tingling of love. What happens? Do you associate love with pain, suffering, loss of control? That’s not love!

It’s those pesky limiting beliefs that you’re not good enough and deserve to be alone, because once someone gets close to you, they’ll see what a loser you are….and because you believe this, you’ll create it!

5. Stuck.

Not taking action; doing what you don’t want to do to please an invisible or visible authority; investment in unrealistic expectations and commitment to doing it the same way.

Depression comes from holding on when things don’t work out, not letting go, not moving on and wanting things to be different, but doing nothing to change it.

6.  Only commit to what feels crappy.

Depression comes from not living your life. It comes from one foot in and one foot out in your relationships. Staying miserable by not giving it your all or even giving your all to something you don’t want. Screw duty, find a different perception—it will change the duty.

And now for some remedies:

    1. Stop feeding what you don’t want. Say no, Say yes—whichever is holding you back—say more.
    2. You create depression by denying joy, fun and allowing. When you allow, your world changes.
    3. Stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. If you keep on believing pain must come, it will, because you create it!
    4. Take an emotional risk, one that makes your teeth chatter with nerves, uncomfortable and scared. You feel it??? If it scares the shit out of you, do it!! Do it now! Don’t wait!!
    5. If you love someone tell them, show them, be with them, holding back means you feel you don’t deserve the love or feeling good.
    6. Be vulnerable—it makes you brave. If you compartmentalize or separate your emotions from your everyday life—you are depressed! Feel your feelings—live it up and love your feelings, they’ll love you back when you allow them to coexist in your world.
    7. You are unlimited. Act without limitations.
    8. Do something inconvenient that brings you joy and excitement. Make time between the “have to’s” for the “Want to’s.” It brings balance, control of your life and choices. Surprise yourself and others!!
    9. Love doesn’t hurt, I promise. It’s your beliefs about love that hurt. Physically when you focus on love, it feels good. When you focus on the fear of getting hurt or disappointed, your stomach and whole body tense up and your convinced you can’t handle it. Allow yourself to feel your heart, good will come immediately.
    10. Share, be intimate, trust, allow, bond, open. Depression is closed and lonely. Be the butterfly and watch yourself fly. It’s okay; to withhold is not okay, unless you like being depressed and alone.
    11. Have goals that are attainable making your heart pound with excitement and are fulfilling.
    12. Make today opposite day—do the opposite of your norm!!!
    13. Feeling you deserve good and happy, rather than suffering and punishment.
Photo: Cat
  1. Be okay with how things are less than perfect or how you believe they should look. Life never looks how we want it to for very long. Get used to it.
  2. Choose!! Choose you, choose happiness, change your mind. Just make a choice and see what happens.
  3. Accept you, stop trying to be someone else or perfect—there are no rewards for anything less than being authentically you.
  4. Listen to your emotions. Feel them—they change like the tide. It connects you to you.

When limiting thoughts and beliefs come up, ask their truth. Are they valid? Or bullsh*t. You have as much right to happiness as anyone else.

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Editor: Lynn Hasselberger

About Tracy Crossley

Tracy Crossley is a hyphenate: female, writer, curiosity quencher, artist, poet, gardener of real gardens and existential ones, clairvoyant, and momma to grown ups. She is an executive mentor as her main gig. She is currently speaking, writing and mentoring people on empowerment in leadership and relationships. If you want to learn more about her, please check out website, facebook page, blog and on twitter, she always follows back. If you really want to get some quality time with her, email her at Tracy AT tracycrossley dot com or her free weekly 10 minute audios.

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13 Responses to “You Don’t have to Suffer from Depression for One More Stinkin’ Minute.”

  1. Kala says:

    I think the article has a positive message and is full of good info. I wish, however, that the title and the first sentence were different. I get a bit uncomfortable when someone says 'just do or think these things and you will automatically feel better' I think it sets people up for self-blame when they try out the advice and it doesn't work. I think that any article about changing our emotional landscape is better presented as an ongoing process that might look and feel different for everyone. I think we over-emphasize instant relief when the reality is that it might take a while and it might take some work.

  2. Tracy says:

    Thanks Kala for your comment. Yes, you are right, it can be taken in a different context, one where someone could feel they are failing if they don't feel better. My POV was to really show that we are the Masters of our Universe and that we can always make different choices that step by step can lead us into the reality we want for ourselves, on the inside. : )

  3. Jain says:

    Have you ever experienced depression?

  4. Louise Brooks says:

    I wish I could say that the things you list in your essay have worked for me. Unfortunately, clinical depression/anxiety is much more complicated than just changing one's cognitive processes. Without my anti-depressants I would not be able to function. I have had severe anxiety disorder since about age 11 (with depression mixed in). Any lowering of my dosage brings the anxiety attacks and dissociative state back very quickly.

    • Tracy says:

      Hi Louise,

      I just answered the person below with a similar answer as I gave here. The article is from not just my experience, but also my clients, many who suffer or have suffered from depression, anxiety, etc…(many on meds or have been in the past).

      And to share a bit about my own experience. I suffered from anxiety since I was a child. I have had panic attacks (agoraphobia runs in my family) and severe depression. I was not able to do anti-depressants, because it actually gives me panic attacks. I have had to find ways to work with my depression and anxiety, the ideas suggested here are some and at the same time I and my clients are doing the transformative work, which allows these tips to work even better.

      It is not a cure all and that is not promised here. They are things which help and for some it needs to be in tandem with other things. I myself have done therapy in the past, EMDR, timeline therapy, etc….and the things which help me are transformative work which deals with my false beliefs and perceptions, neurofeedback–which trains the brain and what is mentioned here in the article. I apologize if this article was not helpful, it was note meant written in a blase manner–depression is a very serious issue.

  5. doulalady says:

    I think that if these suggestions have worked for someone, then that person was never actually clinically depressed. In the future, please use the word "sad". This article is a slap in the face for folks who struggle with clinical depression. I usually love elephant journal, and I not trying to be rude, (really!), but clearly, more education is needed before you write about this topic again. Thanks!

  6. doulalady says:

    Sorry for the typos, fired that off too fast!

    • Tracy says:

      I am sorry for anyone who is offended by what I wrote. I want to be clear in explaining that this wasn't just a random list of suggestions, because they worked for me. This is a list that has worked in my coaching practice. Most of my clients are on anti-depressants or have used them in the past. It is not meant to make light of anyone's situation. I have people who come to see me who have experienced horrific childhoods and traumatic situations in adulthood. I do not mean this as a cure all, nor am I saying that everything becomes bright and shiny, but every step taken with self-awareness is a step from complete darkness–because you are shining a light, even if it is one from a match. Again, I apologize not meant to offend.

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