Somehow when spoken by a middle-aged man looking for a booty call with a practical stranger, it sounds kinda “wrong.”
I was out with my girlfriends this past Friday night and one of my friends started receiving text messages at about 11 p.m. The messages were from a guy who she went on one date with a few weeks ago. She hadn’t heard from in over a week.
Obviously, he read the dating etiquette about sending late night random text messages to women you don’t really know and was hoping to get laid. What?
Okay, I could see if when they met and went on a date that it had proceeded past first base. I might also understand if they had been exchanging sexy texts since the date or had any type of communication in the past week.
But, stone cold out of the blue? What is he thinking? All women want to get laid and will respond to half-assed attempts…because the well dried up and he’s the only water in town? He must smoke the crack pipe or think he can fly on LSD.
This isn’t a categorization of men. No, it is a recognition that manners, consideration and having a clue still count. And this guy, when my friend turned him down with several “no’s” in the texting string, he said so gallantly, “Laters.”
How old is he? What Jr. high school kids does he hang out with these days?
Text messaging allows people to hide and do the things they may never do if they were in person or talking on the phone. Texting has taken the place of dropping off a Dear John letter or email. It has made it easy for some people to sound like they have “game.” It also makes it painfully obvious when someone should try another form of communication, like smoke signals or Morse code.
The thing with texting someone you really don’t know is that there is no basis of familiarity, therefore all sorts of things get taken way out of context.
But not booty calls at 11 o’clock on a Friday night. That is an obvious. Maybe this guy got lucky in the past with this technique? Can’t blame if he did.
I am sure there are women out there who may have responded to his less than suave gesture; some women may just be looking to get laid by a guy with no swagger in his words and no passion to his proposal. I get it.
This guy didn’t give up trying for an hour and it was only after several “no thank you’s” that he finally got the hint that she wasn’t interested. I am curious to know what made him so sure she was interested?
We all have the capacity to misread signals, but there was no arrows pointing “this way to get laid tonight.”
Manners still count for something; I believe it shows respect for yourself and others. It makes exchanges pleasant, even if there is no agreement. Being considerate and mindful that someone may not share your head space about something, like…I don’t know, sex…may have been an opportunity to learn something about yourself and the assumptions you make about someone you just manhandled through a text message.
I guess though, in the end, manners, consideration and having a clue are all really secondary; the thing that just didn’t sit right was an almost 50-year-old man saying, “Laters.”
Editor: Brianna Bemel