Four Things to Do Before You Propose to a Yoga Girl. ~ Sara McKeown

Via on Aug 24, 2012

How to Get a Ring on Your Yoga Girl’s Finger

So you met one of us and have managed to pass go and collect your 200 dollars. Now you’re thinking you’d like to use those dollars for an engagement ring.

The only problem is getting it on her finger and making sure it stays there. After all, she’s a yoga goddess. A member of rare breed known for its complicated, changeable and hardheaded nature.

She isn’t going to be easy to convince you know. Especially since she’s already dedicated her life to one thing and one thing only—the pursuit of truth, with a capital T. Which may or may not include ever exchanging formal vows with you.

And that doesn’t even take into account her views on the institution of marriage, the realities of monogamy or having to share a bathroom with someone for the rest of her life.

So, you got a lot of obstacles to overcome if you’re ever going to get a ring on your yogi’s finger. Luckily for you, most of us have been raised with just enough fairy tales and Barbie Dream Cars that we’re not opposed to you trying.

And since us yoga goddesses can be such a mystery, here are some things that might help you get a “yes” when you’re down on one knee.

1. Marry Yourself First

Yes, I know. Something along these lines is the mantra of every relationship book, self-help website and dating guru. But it’s that for a reason. It’s important.

If you aren’t so wildly, madly, totally in love with yourself and your life, how the hell do you expect anyone else to be?

Being confident, involved and committed to yourself and your hobbies will make you more interesting, genuine and attractive. All things you’re going to need to be if you two are in it for the long haul, B-O-R-I-N-G and F-A-K-E spells the end of the relationship in yoga girl speak.

So first things first, put a ring on your own finger and keep it there even if you get one on hers.

2. Believe in Something Bigger

God. Buddha. The 49ers ability to win the Super Bowl. It doesn’t much matter what it is, but you have to have something bigger than your blessed union to put your faith in.

People suck sometimes. I will. You will. Your beloved yoga goddess will. It’s just how this works. But that thing that’s outside of your relationship, it will never let you down. And that’s going to be important for those moments when there’s no toilet paper in the house, the kid just threw up everywhere and she’s three days away from starting her period.

So find something to devote yourself to and thank it regularly (you are marrying a yoga goddess after all).  It also helps to curse it instead of her (a hint that might save you some sleepless nights in the doghouse).

3. Get Your Shit Together

Sort through, tidy up and neatly attend to the baggage we all come with. This includes your appearance, lifestyle, habits, patterns, physical space, finances, family drama, childhood traumas, etc. Anything that’s sitting around collecting dust, not serving you or her has to go. Yes, even that.  Get the help of a professional if you have to (but please don’t ask your yoga goddess, she does this for other people all day long she doesn’t need to come home and do it for you too).

This is important because relationships are messy. Especially ones with yoga goddesses. Messes piled on top of messes are how people become stars on Hoarders.

So do you and your yogini a favor by starting “forever” off with a clean slate.  And don’t worry about all that newly acquired open space, you two will fill it with your own shit soon enough

4. Know How to Kill the Bear and Write Poetry

Which is just a fancy way of saying embrace your Divine Masculine and Feminine.

There’s an ebb and flow to relationships. Sometimes she’ll need you to hunt, protect and provide: to kill the bear and drag it home. Other times she’s going to need to do that herself. Which means you’re going to have to get comfortable being open, receptive, flexible and possibly crying (maybe even in public) at times.

However, you must know the appropriate time to apply each skill.  Otherwise, you’re sure to be cursing whatever it is you believe in while sleeping out in the doghouse.

While this list may not be a surefire way to get your yoga goddess to the altar, it is a way to open yourself up to love. And frankly, the world could use all the love it can get—whether it works out with your yoga girl or not.

 

Sara McKeown is just like every other yogi, except she hates coconut water. When she’s not perfecting her Downward Facing Dog or teaching other people how to perfect theirs, she can be found eating avocados, doodling in her journal, talking with her hands, microwaving her non-dairy ice cream, daydreaming about having Ira Glass’s babies, debating which book to stick her nose in or helping people live their best lives through her work as a counselor and wellness coach. Send her love notes at saramckeown@hotmail.com or come along with her on her journey by checking out her blog, My Great Leap.

~

Editor: Kate Bartolotta

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6 Responses to “Four Things to Do Before You Propose to a Yoga Girl. ~ Sara McKeown”

  1. JoeC2K says:

    I find all these "yoga goddess" articles on EJ rather superficial…

  2. yogababy says:

    So do I @JoeC2K, and if a Yoga Goddess's nature is changeable, hardhearted and complicated I wouldn't want to be one. I'd rather be simple, easygoing and open hearted.

  3. Pamela says:

    I agree with both of the commenters above (I am a female). I know this blog is supposed to be lighthearted but in the end it further divides the sexes into stereotypes and fosters animosity via insulting undertones of why one sex needs to elevate themselves to the level of another (or how a non-yogi needs to elevate to the level of a "yogi"). Women aren't perfect or better than; men aren't perfect or better than; yogis in general aren't perfect or better than (I've known some pretty effed up people calling themselves yogis!). Let's respect each others human dignity, learn from others strengths and gifts, offer help and compassion when needed and be humble enough to receive help and compassion when we sorely need it ourselves. We're all in this together, stay humble, be respectful.

    • Sara McKeown says:

      Thank you for the comment. I actually couldn't agree with you more. In retrospect, I should have left this post as I originally wrote it—in first person, less gender specific us vs. them language. But in a last minute ego driven fury to gain more readers and fit into a specific genre I changed it. And in doing so cheapened it. Because you're right no one is better than anyone else, and ultimately I think these tips are pertinent to all—men, women, yogi, non-yogi. So thanks for the reminder to tell my story in my own voice.
      Thank god we are all in this together because I could use all the help I can get. And I so appreciate your help.

  4. Michael says:

    Someone should do a statistical survey on how many Elephant Journal (ie., Yoga Cosmo) articles are about sex and dating. I bet it is on the order of 25%. Then, more interestingly, someone should theorize why that is so. I have no idea.

    • Sara McKeown says:

      Hahaha that's awesome-the Yoga Cosmo. It's true there are a lot of sex and dating articles on here. My amateur guess is that in some way aren't we all looking for love and connection? And in our culture dating and sex seem to be among the main way we find those things. Or don't. Either way they consume a lot of our time.
      But what do I know?

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