It’s time we all get over the pathological need to be liked.
I had a fellow writer leave me a (positive) comment yesterday, saying “Yeah, bitch!” and then disclaimed that she meant it in the best girl-power way possible, which was how I took it anyway, considering the source.
I started thinking about two things:
1. We get awfully hung up on this word sometimes. Like many other “bad” words, the offense has much more to do with the intention behind it than the word itself.
You could call me “fluffy bunnykins” with anger and hatred behind it, and it would be more offensive than bitch. A women’s studies professor I had in college used to refer to it as “Being In Total Control of Herself.” I like it.
2. We (especially women, but I’ll make this a genderless “we”), are too concerned with being perceived as “nice.”
How about instead of trying so hard to be nice, to be constantly concerned with other’s opinions of us, we strive to be genuine?
How about instead of worrying that we’ll be misunderstood and disliked, we seek to understand and have compassion for others?
I would rather spend time with people who are genuine than spend time surrounded by people who are stuck in the box of being nice, nervously trying not to break out of it for fear being disliked.
Every bit of energy wasted on “nice” could have been spent laughing too loud, or dancing in public, or kissing for too long, or speaking the truth or helping make someone’s day better—instead of just making sure she thinks you are “nice.”
Every time that you let go of you in order to be nice, you miss out on a chance to let people know you and love you for who you are.
How about we let go of “nice” and remember how to be real.
I love you because you are weird and random, compassionate and kind—even if it means you aren’t always nice. And really, whether I’m being a bitch and you’re calling me on it—or it’s affectionate girl-power silliness, I’d rather be called a bitch for being myself, than be called “nice” because I was acting like someone else.
Like elephant journal on Facebook.
hot on elephant
Elephant Journal’s Holiday Gift Guide 636 shares A letter to the Anger that refuses to Leave Me. 631 shares Waylon’s favorite Ethical Gifts. 13 shares Learn Social Media, Writing, Editing & Journalism Ethics with elephantjournal.com. 4 shares Dear Pretty Young Woman Flirting with my Husband. 3,343 shares The Real Reason so many Long-term Relationships Fail Sexually. 1,104 share Year of the Fire Rooster 2017: What to Expect. 1,022 share Why a Year of No Dating was the Best Thing I ever did for Myself. 8,443 shares These Tweets (and Retweets) actually Happened. 1,392 share If you Want Him, you must Claim Him. 781 shares