I’m still not exactly where I want to be.
As I struggled through my morning trying to wake myself up today, I could hear this little whisper humming ever so faintly through the New Year’s leftover headache and hangover, that despite feeling like absolute shit, it wasn’t too late to start this new year clear.
At first I wasn’t convinced, I just couldn’t wash myself of the habitual feelings of guilt echoing out of the waves of the holiday’s wake; guilt that I didn’t keep up my practice or keep hold of my peace through the partying; guilt that I lost my temper along with lots of time being annoyed with the hours spent lining up and stuck in traffic jams, looking for parking, for that one spice, or that certain wine; guilt that despite the lists and the goals and the visualization, I’m still not exactly where it is I want to be in my life.
Just like last year, and the year before that, and the one before, and before, and before, instead of feeling motivated and inspired, encouraged and on fire about the new year ripe and ready to unfold, I feel full of guilt about not being exactly where it is I intended and imagined I would be by now.
I feel bad that I haven’t mastered my emotions, my reactivity, nor my extremely sensitive heart. I feel bad about the mistakes I’ve made, about the moments where I could have been kinder or softer, or moved more from my heart. In times of endless party and reckless abandon, sweets and treats and too-much-to-eat- galore, I always tend to fall into the well of what I haven’t done rather than shining the light on everything I have done.
So today I chose to listen to that voice egging me on towards new beginnings, reminding myself that the chance to change hasn’t been missed just because I didn’t check everything off last year’s list, or because again, for the umpteenth year in a row, I’m waking up wishing I hadn’t had that fourth glass of champagne, that third glass of red, or that extra generous top off of Frangelico right before bed.
No matter how fuzzy or frazzled you are after the par-tay season, it isn’t too late to start this year clear.
Just because you missed the crazy discipline boat and didn’t wake up singing the world’s praises full of pep and pride on January 1, doesn’t mean you missed your chance at a fresh start.
You can start now.
The opportunity for transformation and new beginnings isn’t limited to the first day of the year. That bad boy is just a check point, a marker, a moment for you to pause, step back, and take a look at where you are in comparison to where it is you’re wanting to be.
But you can check in anytime. You can do it now; you can do it in three minutes, you can do it tonight, or tomorrow morning, or you can start next week.
You choose when your transformation begins, not the date marking the spot on your calendar.
You can start being whoever it is you want to be at any moment, whenever it is you choose. Each new breath is full of opportunity, with each new second of life that lands in your heart, you’re given a fresh start.
Every moment is an opportunity to align and re-align, to create and re-create—you don’t have to wait for a new year to check in and begin to break the habits that hold you, or to cultivate the compassion, or the gratitude, or the patience, or the kindness, or the calmness, or whatever it is you’re intending to align yourself with as you move forward in your life.
You can start now.
It doesn’t matter what happened last night, or on New Year’s Eve, or last July; it doesn’t matter how stressful your life is, or how tired, or how hungover, or how just “over” the busyness of the holiday season you are, you can still start being who you want to be now.
That means in any given day, if you’re awake for eight hours and breathing 10 full breaths a minute, you’ve got 8,400 fresh starts, 8,400 new beginnings, 8,400 opportunities to begin to be the person you keep telling yourself you will become.
It isn’t too late to start your new year clear!
So who is it you want to become this year?