Swinging the Bat When We Cannot Hit
I know many people who are facing curve balls that I would not begin to know how to hit—or, if I could hit them, make my way around the bases, much less back home.
I spent a good week crying a lot. It’s hard to run around the bases in tears.
A long time ago the first true healer I worked with shared the idea that we rarely question our happiness or seek to find a reason for it and yet when we are sad or upset, we want reason.
If we take the paradigm that life is a game, then the lesson we all learned in school is how we play. The point is to have fun—yet, when I am crying I am not having fun.
I cannot control how the ball is thrown; I cannot control if the game is played in the sun or rain. I cannot control who is on my team, how they play, and sometimes I don’t get to choose who they are.
My family is a good example. Now, we can embrace the New Age idea that at some level I chose my whole family—I can get with that.
Yet, I also know that level of truth and reality is a mere concept for me.
When I was young I often felt like I was not in the game, a mere spectator and watching was my way of playing.
But if life is a baseball game, I would have to say I admire those who stand with the bat even though they rarely hit the ball. I admire those who used to be able to pitch the ball any way they wanted to throw it and then have to learn all over how to even hold the ball.
The fact is I can run and throw and hit on most days—for that I am blessed. My health is okay. The curve ball I face relates to my bank account and the choices I make every day to do what I do and live how I live.
I love what I do for a living and many people cannot say that. Recently, I thought I would have to change that but now I think I don’t.
We all have dark times. We all have times of sadness. We all have challenges.
Nothing has been resolved beyond my decision to keep doing what I am doing as a few things have shifted that allow me to do just that.
I sit with admiration for the people I know who have to learn to hold the ball all over.
My guess is life may not get any easier yet with time—and so I get better at hitting the curve ball or at least not letting the ball hit me.
We say in AA we go through it till we grow through it. The fact, is we are never through with growing and we don’t always get to choose the lessons.
The lessons choose us and what we take from them gives us the tools we need to stay in the game—but we cannot always choose how the ball is thrown, we cannot always hit the balls, we cannot always run the bases and sometimes we get out.
Sometimes, we get hit with the ball. Sometimes we get hurt. Sometimes, we play because we are part of a team.
My mom told me that we all have to do things we don’t like to do—I used to hate hearing that but today, I am grateful because it’s true.
Today, I feel like maybe I can enjoy the game; tomorrow, I may want to sit on the bench or take a day and watch.
But as long as I am learning then I can stay in the stadium, no matter what.
And I am here to live it.
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Ed: Bryonie Wise