I heard a teacher once say: “Hearts don’t break; it is the ego that breaks.”
I don’t know if there is any truth to that, the fact remains that something that was whole broke into pieces, and it hurts like crazy. Perhaps it is too early for me to write this, but this is what I see working so far:
1. Connect with your friends, the ones who have known you for a while.
Friends were put on this earth to remind you that you are loved. No matter the distance or the time lapse, a true friend will be there for you in no time.
2. Let them buy you gifts and chocolate.
3. Connect with people who have gone through similar loss.
Old friends are awesome, but only people who have experienced “something like this” really understand what you are going through. Listen.
4. Start new friendships.
Keep your heart open. Network. Create new memories.
5. You have re-created yourself before.
You can do it again. Play Three Little Birds and sing out loud in the shower. Dream a new dream.
6. Find something you are passionate about, and do that.
Otherwise, lack of passion will kill you a slowly and before you know it this lifetime is gone.
7. Spend time outdoors.
Soak in the sun. Sunshine therapy is vital. While you’re outside, smile at strangers.
8. Buy yourself something pretty.
Speaking of therapy, try a little retail therapy. Get a cute little dress, or red high heels, or new skinny jeans, or one thing from Lululemon, or all of the above.
9. Ride the wave.
Some days you will be sad. Some days you will be angry. Some days you’ll feel very positive and excited about the possibilities ahead. Ride the wave with grace. Feel everything that comes up.
10. Sign up for dance lessons.
Do something different. Have fun with it. Nothing like being pampered and tenderized from head to toe.
12. See your current challenge(s) as an opportunity for growth.
When something breaks chances are 1,000 other things will fall apart at the same time. Deal with it. Ask yourself: How can this make me better, faster, stronger?
13. Count your blessings.
Take things into perspective and look at all the goodness in your life.
14. Be of service to others.
Focusing your attention on helping others will give you a break from all your drama.
Meditation will teach you to be with, and accept, what’s happening moment to moment.
16. Let your mantra be “love.”
You can’t go wrong with love. Be love. No one can take that away from you. When in doubt, love more.
17. Eat fresh vibrant whole foods, and lots of chocolate.
Eating healthy lively colorful foods feels good in the body. Chocolate has a natural ingredient that will make you happy. Keep emergency chocolate everywhere.
18. De-clutter and simplify your home–and life.
Just do it.
19. Don’t ask too many questions.
Don’t attempt to know why. Or, “what the fuck?” Or, are you kidding me? Or, “why me?” Or, “how?” Or, “since when?” You might never know, and that’s okay. There are more important questions to tend to, like: “What do I want now, and what can I do to get it?”
20. Make to-do lists.
Check each item off. Get your shit organized. Then take breaks and days off.
21. Stop swearing.
Forgiveness will bring you peace. Forgive (for real), and move on.
23. Be happy.
Remember that only you can make you happy. People come and go. Even your dear friends will come and go. They have their own lives to tend to. Stuff comes and goes. You will be the one who stays with you forever. Be kind to yourself.
Xenia Guido is originally from Costa Rica. She lives and owns a yoga studio, Pura Vida Yoga, in the Gaslamp District, in San Diego. She has been teaching for 10 years, and she is passionate about yoga and creating community through yoga. Connect with Xenia on Facebook at Pura Vida Yoga. Website: http://puravidayogacenter.com/.
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Ed: T. Lemieux/Kate Bartolotta
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July’s Full Moon in Capricorn: The Heart wants what it Wants. The 4 Stages of a Good Divorce. How to Love a Woman who Scares You. Our Soulmates are Rarely Who We Expect. I Still Think of You. Men, Let’s Stop Fooling Ourselves: Size Matters. To the One Who Tried to Break Me. An Open Letter to the Fixers. How your Stored Memories in the Amygdala can lead to PTSD. How My Sister’s Death Transformed my Self-Perception.