How to Get Rid of Belly Fat. ~ Michelle Marchildon.

Via on Apr 15, 2013
Yoga Bellies
Yoga Bellies

I recently clicked on a video that promised it would get rid of my belly fat.

After all, I am in favor of anything that will get rid of my ample midsection, especially if all I have to do is click.

Up until now, I’ve tried dieting, exercising and even prayer, but nothing seems to work. And now everywhere I go, I see offers to get rid of my baby bulge.

I am not alone. According to someone at Harvard University, the United States has a lot of belly fat. In fact, this video on how to get rid of “unsightly belly fat” is at two million views.

First of all, this is a misnomer. Belly fat is not “unsightly.” In fact, it is front and center with absolutely everything I wear. However, I have fixed this: Please see the strategically placed typewriter on my publicity photo.

It used to be that our fascination with weight was seasonal: You can count on weight loss ads in January for resolutions, and in June for bikini season. But again, this is a misnomer as anyone with “unsightly belly fat” usually does not wear a bikini unless they also bring their typewriter along.

Now our national obsession over belly fat has overcome our concerns with revising the gun laws, the economy and environmental issues. In fact, I searched for environmental issues on YouTube, and of the 32,000 videos made by anxious parents of middle schoolers, the most popular had 29,000 views. One had three, two if you don’t count me.

So, just for fun, I put “belly fat” into YouTube, and 613,000 videos came up! You know I can’t make this stuff up. One had three million views (2,999,999 if you don’t count me). Then I put “belly fat” into Twitter and this very handsome man appeared:

He promises to get rid of belly fat.
He promises to get rid of belly fat.

Clearly, he does not need my typewriter.

Which brings me to my point: We can put a man on the moon, but we can’t cure belly fat? Or as my girlfriend reminded me last week, we also can’t seem to get consistent cell phone service anywhere outside of Starbucks.

So I went to Livestrong.com, where Lance Armstrong may have a lot of trouble right now but he definitely does not have a spare tire (yuk yuk). And lo and behold, there is an article on belly fat!

According to Livestrong.com, “belly fat is the most dangerous type of fat of all because it could increase risk of high blood pressure, heart disease and stroke.”

But this is the best part; you know what they recommend to cure belly fat? Yoga! Yes, here it is:

“The sun-salutation sequence from yoga, for instance, is a particularly effective exercise to lose belly fat.”

Yes try yoga. Everyone says it works. Or try a typewriter. I cannot promise that yoga actually cures anything, but I can guarantee at least that my typewriter will fix belly fat. Click here for your money-saving offer if you want to buy one now.

 

Like elephant journal on Facebook.

 

Ed: Kate Bartolotta

About Michelle Marchildon

Michelle Berman Marchildon is the Yogi Muse. She’s an award-winning journalist, and the author of Finding More on the Mat: How I Grew Better, Wiser and Stronger through Yoga. Her second book, Theme Weaver: Connect the Power of Inspiration to Teaching Yoga, is for yoga teachers who want to inspire their students. Michelle is a columnist for elephant journal and Origin Magazine and a contributor to Teachasana, My Yoga Online and Yoga Journal. She is an E-RYT 500 with Yoga Alliance and teaches in Denver, Co where she is busy raising two boys, two dogs and one husband. You can follow her on Facebook at Michelle Marchildon, The Yogi Muse. You can find her blog and website at www.YogiMuse.com. And you can take her classes on www.yogadownload.com.

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16 Responses to “How to Get Rid of Belly Fat. ~ Michelle Marchildon.”

  1. Brooke says:

    Excess belly fat can also be due to excess estrogen. There will be nothing you can do to rid yourself of it without lowering your estrogen.

  2. Eileen says:

    If you have belly fat, Michelle, I must have major belly blubber! I've been doing sun salutations for many years and I still need the typewriter.

  3. Michelle Marchildon says:

    I carry the typewriter wherever I go.

  4. Robyn says:

    LMAO. A typewriter! Genius! I'm going to continue working on dietary changes, but if they don't work soon, I'm getting me a typewriter.

  5. mike c says:

    That typewriter looks heavy, prolly does wonders for the core lugging that around :p

  6. Allison says:

    my secret.. eat healthy dont drink alcohol drink water! & sun salutations of course :)

  7. yann123 says:

    Can you give a good link to sun-salutation visuals?

  8. Michelle Marchildon says:

    Here's a cute stick figure doing a sun salutation: http://yogasite.com/sunsalute.htm

  9. Try hula hooping! It's the best workout for your midsection and core, and it's fun!

  10. Darcie says:

    This is genius and HILARIOUS!!! Love it!

  11. perry says:

    as usual, your dry humour is much appreciated

  12. Hi — FYI ….The Livestrong web site is in no way connected to Lance Armstrong.

  13. nana says:

    "according to someone at harvard" wowie it's from harvard! who care's who it was, no need to acknowledge that person cus it from harvard!

  14. jlemiaj says:

    A wonderful spoken-word poet recently posted this on Facebook: "Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body."

  15. Rob Issem says:

    I couldn't find any mention of yoga or the sun salutation on your livestrong linked page: http://www.livestrong.com/article/470863-i-need-t
    PS – you've gotta be kidding me about your belly Michelle. There's plenty of fun and levity in your article, and you can write about whatever you want, but if you post a picture of yourself looking fit and great, and then say you need typewriter to cover your belly in photos, is the message that sends worth that little bit of humor?

  16. kluster2001 says:

    This is so funny ha haa. This is the number one question I get as an instructor from clients and class participants alike. As a culture, we have this obsession with compartmentalizing our lives. We nit pick our body parts, finding all the "problem areas" – without consideration for our bodies as a whole (and perfect) unit. If we can shift our thinking to self care and caring for our amazing bodies as a unit, like we do in yoga – we wouldn't have to waste so much time and effort on wrong thinking and spot-reduction. Then of course, there is always the typewriter.

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