Living Life is the Best Medicine. ~ Edith Lazenby

Via on Apr 7, 2013

A dear friend wrote that all the different pieces of her were here for me.

Well, those aren’t her exact words, but I so got what she meant. You see, I had been writing about how full of grief and sadness I am.

I have not felt whole in a long time.

Maybe when I was a child, pre-teen, there were moments of ease and comfort. Maybe not….

The beauty of her line is that we are all broken, in one way or another. Life does that to each of us and we break in our special way.

You would not meet me and think: Broken.

I teach yoga full time. I write. I have friends. I have my birth family and a wonderful husband and four cats and way too many books.

I have more to do in a day than I can ever do, because sometimes I just need the comfort of my loving neighbor, or the distraction of television or better yet, an engaging movie. Sometimes, I read.

I have more to do because there’s so much I don’t get done.

I feel broken inside. I feel like my spirit is a kaleidoscope of colors, each one a feeling or a thought, a hope or dream, a wish or a hurt.

I see a psychiatrist for medication. I don’t tell him my problems because I feel like he wants to fix me. I will tell him so at some point, or maybe he’ll read this.

I don’t believe in cures—I believe in healing.

I believe my parts all fit together just right to make me one person. Some of these parts are like those dolls we had as kids with the heads pulled off. Some take on the comfort of Winnie-the-Pooh or my bunny, Pudgy Pal. Some parts are layered in books, like Catcher on the Rye, which made perfect sense to me the first time I read it.

I could make a collage of poems I have written throughout my life, each one marking a moment and yet some of these moments I don’t remember though the poem might contain a few grains of it.

Yet, my friend knows what broken is. Many of us spend time walking around as if we are fine. We put on a good face, our game face. We smile and nod and tell the world we’re fine.

I think we’re often just saying we’re fine because our broken self needs to hear it.

We all have the same nervous system—we all have needs.

Some of us are better cooks, others better at sales…some folk thrive on competition and others could not care a less about winning or losing or being the best.

What we all want is to feel a sense of peace. We all need to feel loved for who we are; all the different pieces and the person we present to the world.

We all want respect.

Tonight, I watched a movie on the Lifetime Channel, not my first stop, but here it was. And of course, I cried. Because the woman had schizophrenia, like me, but unlike me, she was not able to live in the world. And her sister struggled with her shame of her sister, the hurts, the layered history sisters always have.

And I thought to myself: I am just as broken as the woman on television. I understand voices.

But we don’t need a mental health condition to set us apart; we all have something.

I may be broken—and I don’t want to be fixed.

I do want to find ways to heal but I find living life is the best medicine, waking up with the day, and doing my best, whatever it is.

 

 

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Ed: Bryonie Wise

Source: Uploaded by user via Michele on Pinterest

 

 

About Edie Lazenby

I am someone who loves to share and thrives on being with others. My craft whittles moments into meaning and eases my heart. I learn best by listening. I teach yoga and I write. Life is challenging but simple. My kitties make me happy. Check my blog here.

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19 Responses to “Living Life is the Best Medicine. ~ Edith Lazenby”

  1. Carolyn Riker Carolyn Riker says:

    Absolutely wonderful! Honest, open and accepting of all of our pieces! This is brilliant, insightful and creative. Thank you very much for sharing pieces of who you are…all the shades are beautiful. I needed to read this.

  2. Edie Lazenby Edie says:

    Thanks Carolyn…..sending hugs your way.

  3. Esperanza says:

    Thank you Carolyn, it really helped to read you.

  4. Marie-Soleil says:

    thank you

  5. Geni says:

    So moving and honest. Your truth is beautiful, thanks you for sharing your innermost <3

  6. Edie Lazenby Edie Lazenby says:

    Thanks so much….

  7. andieth says:

    Beautiful, thank you.

  8. Angell Magliulo says:

    Extraordinarily expressive and bundled with insight and love. Brava! You are a healer!

  9. leilra says:

    *hug* Thank you so much for sharing. I hope you know how well you're doing compared to some people without mental illness. But then again, we all have our own "thing." You're doing exceptionally well. Personally, I suffer from trichotillomania. At times I feel insane, but I have to remember we are all fighting our own battles.

    Remember how far you've come. Don't focus the bad. You're lovely! <3

  10. cmdfc says:

    There is such anxiety in the concern for not doing more to help others, to achieve things, to have a positive impact. It feels downright irresponsible to let go of that anxiety. And yet, we are not all here to do such work. Our work, whatever it is, must be accepted as our work. First and foremost by ourselves. No guilt, no regret, no paralysis that this work is hardly work while that person's work over there is noble and right.

    Long ago, a Men's Journal article offered pithy advice on how to actively contribute to a more sustainable world.
    Stay home.

    It is OK, if not fabulous, to stay home.

    • edieyoga says:

      Strong feelings….all good…staying home works for many if there is a way to afford it….I am blessed as a yoga teacher I get to have windows of time, at home, with my cats, my writing and things I love. Thanks for sharing.

  11. One thing that has transformed my healing journey is the acceptance that I am not broken and therefore do not need fixing. Healing however means many things. Healing at the soul level is courageous, and sometimes feels scary as fears are right there, wanting acknowledgement. Your words emit love and joy and courage and sincerity and gratitude. That is healing just reading those vibrations. Thank you.

    • edieyoga says:

      Thank you….lots can be said for perspective, and point of view…I guess lately have felt more broken than usual….but I really understand what you mean….in one of my trainings a teacher said we are not a problem to be solved….I kinda like that.
      Thanks so much

  12. Cami Rice says:

    Thank you. You eloquently and succinctly spoke for many. What you said resonated for me like a chime. I passed this along on Facebook. I hope it is widely read. Blessings…

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