There are many times in my life and especially as of late where I am finding waves of emotion surfacing in me.
In the past, I have been habitual in the sense that I am so eager and quick stop these profound yet indescribable moments of total emotional consumption. I am afraid of what they mean, the stigmas surrounding them, their permanence in my life and their power.
Often do we all do this, especially with negative emotion. Say that we are progressing through life, really “content” with the routine…the relationships, the occupation, social engagements, obligations, etc…and all of a sudden we have a surge of realization that we are truly unhappy.
Unhappy just in general, non-specific toward any event in particular, just that general malaise and sense of being weighted down by a pressure on our bodies.
In my experience, the immediate response is avoidance—it is a turning of the back on the emotion itself, because “I have no reason to feel this way. There is nothing in my life going wrong, therefore the emotion must not really exist. And if in fact it is here tomorrow, then it may exist, but I will stop it from being there.”
And we try to use this illusionary control in our lives to predict the nature of our day.
We put armor on our bodies and distract ourselves with friends and family, activities and hobbies, and assume that with this armor around us, we cannot be penetrated. And yet it still comes back—and it comes back with ten times the veracity.
So we put a shield in front of us, saying you aren’t coming anywhere near me—I can beat you.
We try and stop it.
But I have come to a new realization; instead of trying to stop the waves from coming, which is counterproductive because the shore is consistently flooded with waves both big and small, try and surf on them. This life wasn’t meant to be avoided and battled against—it was meant to flow with the current.
We were meant to welcome the emotions, see them as part of who you are, not all inclusive to your identity.
Interesting how we are not intimidated by feelings of overwhelming joy, elation, euphoria, because they aren’t “painful.” But the so-called negative emotions that we have been conditioned to reject, are only as painful as we make them.
Do not be scared of them, for they have powers that we cannot imagine.
So when you find yourself in the midst of sorrow, loneliness, pain, or sadness, ride that wave.
And ride it with open arms.
Ed: Bryonie Wise
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