Photo: DieselDemon

I have learned a lot about balance in my life these past few months.

For those who know me, know that I do not understand the meaning of moderation.  Yes, I can and will eat the entire tub of ice cream and then have a belly ache.  I will train for a mountain bike race and forget to practice yoga or do any other form of cross training.  I will focus on my yoga so much that I then find myself with six months of zero cardio under my belt to actually do anything I love to do outside.

I am aware of this teeter totter effect, but to actually find the balance in my life and make it happen, is another thing.

Many do not even realize why they feel frazzled or ungrounded.

Awareness is a huge step—but so is trying to make adjustments to your life to balance it all out.

We are a very reactive culture, versus proactive.

Some of us will not even make changes to their life until something happens to them—they develop an illness or find themselves under copious amounts of stress that is preventing them from functioning, they lose a loved one or their significant other has had it with them.  It seems to be conflicts like these that give permission for epiphanies and life changes.

Do you agree?

It’s not easy.  I know.

And I’m not sure which is worse—being aware of it all and then stressing because you don’t know how to to balance everything or being naive about it all.

I’ve spent the last few months of my life focusing on our sick kitten (literally tunnel vision), consuming my brain with mountain bike racing, wishing for more yoga trainings, all while trying to balance our every day life events such as work, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc.

And with this all said, I actually feel awful because all of these “worries” are first world problems.  I have food at my fingertips, a loving family, a job, a blanket, a roof over my head.  I have money and freedom to do pretty much whatever I want.  But I still feel ungrounded.

So when we feel ungrounded, do we focus on the things we do have?

Do we practice gratitude (as we should anyway), knowing seams will seal together with appreciation of our life in general?

I am still on my teeter totter.

I find myself wanting to race but then find me telling myself to slow it down.  No need to race.  I know I can ride a mountain bike.

What do I need to prove?

Clearly nothing, since I have about five mechanicals during each race anyway. But there is a little horse is me that neighs and is pulling me to the starting line.  I want to submerge myself into yoga and never resurface, but my bank account would be depleted.  I want to help my sick kitten, but I need to stop baby-ing her and let her be sometimes.

It’s called life.

Ebb and flow.

And it changes all the time.  Do what makes you happy.

If you have to leave the dirty dishes in the sink for the night because you can’t be bothered, do it.  If you find yourself on a teeter totter, and maybe even on the side of the teeter totter that is suspending you in the air and you feel ungrounded, throw your arms in the air and embrace it.

What I have learned these last few months is to enjoy the ride.  I need not stress over finding an answer to my imbalance.

Embrace it.  Explore it.  Live it.

All it means is that you are alive.

Besides, where can we really play on a teeter totter these days anyway?  I feel like they have been banned from childhood.

~

Ed: Elysha Anderson

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