When All Else Fails, Write. ~ Edith Lazenby

Via on Jul 8, 2013

write

When the only thing overflowing is your coffee cup, write.

When it is humid and 100 degrees outside and you have no AC, write.

When tears fall because nothing else will, write.

When you watch Law & Order hour after hour to feel anything at all or nothing per se, write.

When the dishes are dirty, the peaches are bruised, the washer is full and the bed is empty, write.

When you think you know something, write.

When you know you know nothing, write.

When your best friend is a computer screen, you best talk to it because you know someone has to say something.

When you wake up one day and find out all your talking means nothing, write.

When the only map you know is the weave of words, set a route. When you need a destination, make it up. When the only way is set with detours, take each one. When you need a sign, make one.

When the only way to score is by adding seconds to hours, stop watching time. When time undoes you, breathe. When breathing is all you have, be grateful.

When the phone does not ring, unplug it. When the mirrors show you someone you’d rather not see, take them down. When sleep does not give you dreams, stay awake. When staying awake is boring, write.

I used to drink when I was happy. I used to drink when I was sad. I used to drink because I could not stand being in my body.

Now I write.

I write to find my way into the places I don’t know. I write to catch my breath as it leaves. I write to be in body. I write to leave my body. The more I hurt, the more I write.

I write when I am happy too, but I think I forgot happy with the episodes of Law & Order. The order I need changes with the channels. The order I had dissolved.

The only way I know to spell relief rests at my fingertips. Chocolate helps in moments. Coffee eases me. Conversations with a select few remind me of where meaning can be.

I am ready. I am ready for this episode. There’s coffee in the kitchen. The words have lead me into a moment and now I have to leave.

I have to leave because tomorrow will come before I am ready. I am more ready now than before now.

What do you do? Does writing work for you? I wish I could sing or dance but neither give me relief. I am not looking for joy or happiness right now.

I am just looking. I am not sure what I found. I am not sure what I lost. Somewhere between the lines there’s an answer. My question is how to begin again when I am treading water in the middle. The circle grows larger. There’s no way out. But this is my way in.

 

 

 

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Ed: B. Bemel

About Edie Lazenby

I am someone who loves to share and thrives on being with others. My craft whittles moments into meaning and eases my heart. I learn best by listening. I teach yoga and I write. Life is challenging but simple. My kitties make me happy. Check my blog here.

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8 Responses to “When All Else Fails, Write. ~ Edith Lazenby”

  1. Brooke Bates says:

    This is amazing and exactly what I needed to read today. After choosing to lose myself in Law & Order to forget myself and my troubles from this past year, I have discovered (or maybe re-discovered) the art and retreat of writing. I can't help but remember Joan Didion saying "I don't know what I think until I write it down." Thank you so much Edith!

    • edieyoga says:

      Thanks so much. I hope you realize it means so much to hear I have made a difference to you. Glad you friended me on FB.
      Write something….love to read it. Am sure we could publish it here at ej….

      Sending hugs and light your way.

  2. Sara says:

    Writing is the only way out and the only way in for a writer. To go out, we must first go in…lovely writing Edith.

    • edieyoga says:

      Thanks Sara!!! I have to check your blog again soon. I think you are a fighter and a survivor…as am I…writing gives me sollace…and a way to understand…

      • Lo Elizabeth says:

        I think she’s crawled into my brain and has channeled my thoughts into this piece. From the drinking, to the Law & Order (specifically SVU), to the coffee and the hours bent over the page. Thank you for this; I needed it.

        • edieyoga says:

          Oh my…good to hear….Yes, SVU and am fond of Criminal Intent. Starting to read as well. Ordered Game of Thrones and am reading Jodi Picoult book…she is actually a strong writer….engages me…of course I am in the middle of at least 3 other books….

  3. Emily says:

    Thank you this is lovely. I have been trying to write lately but it's a struggle and I find that I'm always writing with an audience in mind! For me its dancing and singing that give relief. Hopefully I can get there with writing too. If not that I hope it'll help me better understand myself.

    • edieyoga says:

      Ah dancing and singing! Wave of envy….and I think writing always deepens understanding. Read Natalie Goldberg, Writind Down the Bones

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