Healthy Love, Sex & Relationships

Via on Aug 30, 2013
Photo: Om Rupani.
Photo: Om Rupani

It’s 2013 and finally the time has come that we are speaking openly and honestly about love, sex and relationships.

We are not prudes. A new Way of relating has taken place and many are questioning the once firm yet fragmented, governing principles and paradigms that ruled the way we as humans were and are in relationship with one another. As more beings become liberated, we see and realize the imposed conditionings that society, pop culture, media, movies and TV have placed on us; we finally step into the space of freedom to regulate via our own rules, regulations and way of how and what is true to our own heart, versus what someone or something has imprinted or tarnished onto us.

The way of “should” is no longer relevant and/or valid. The old model is breaking down and hanging on by a thread.

Why? Well, to put it simply, it just doesn’t work. As souls begin to wake up, we embark the process of defining our own lives and everything that that entails. What works for one, may not work for an other. What’s important is, that you do and create from a place of what is true and authentic to and for you.

Uno + Uno = Dos

Keep your individual independence and self identity a priority so you don’t lose yourself in the relationship and become merged in codependency.

The formula for a healthy, balanced and new way of relating is: One whole person + One whole person = Two whole people.

That “you complete me as my other half” thought is an old paradigm and does not work in the new way of being. Projecting your unhealed mother/father issues onto the present moment of your current partner won’t get you anywhere. Heal that, work through it, get clear in your karma of the past. Stop recreating the same unconscious story over and over again.

Real and wholesome union is when two people come together, independent from one another and create a whole new separate entity from their own individual set of uniqueness that is created by what they have to offer to and for the relationship.

Friendship

A friend of mine once said to me, “Treat your friends as lovers and your lovers as friends.” Trust, respect and honor are the foundation for any type of relationship. Be friends. Don’t take one another for granted. You’re making the choice to bring your lives together—no one is forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do.

The moment relationships become negative, damaging, unhealthy or infested with poison, you can leave. Stay committed and loyal to what you are saying “yes” to, but/and simply let it go if it is no longer in service to you of your Highest good. A kiss is not a contract. Communicate the agreements, boundaries and/or perimeters of your relationship. Assumptions and expectations lead to unnecessary suffering.

Just because society says a romantic relationship should “look” a certain way, doesn’t mean it has to in your life. The reality of all relationships is, that you can form and create any type of relationship you wish, however and whatever you want it to look like. Tailor your relationships to the needs and desires of both/all parties involved.

Protect One Another’s Solitude

When you need to be alone and do your thing, go do it. If your partner needs space to be in their own personal process, allow for freedom and room to breathe. Get off their back; instead support their back. Be the guardian for one another’s sacred space for solitude. Don’t take anything personally. Come together from a true internal want and desire of and for, love and support—not from a place of a desperate longing and/or a false sense of “need.” The purpose of relationship is to set one another free and be the best that we can be.

Communication

Keep the energy of honesty and openness in full flow. Be in constant communication and dialogue. Your beloved is your number one supporter and fan. Talk and be frank about your fears, discomforts, growing pains, aspirations, dreams, loves and passions.

Life ain’t easy, but it’s definitely worth it. Especially when you have people around who love you and want you to be the best version of yourself with every passing new day. Your beloved is there to hold the space for you when you need it—as well as you for them. Take turns, seek balance, operate from love. Listen to each other.

Sex

Make time for sexual connection and not only that: make it a top priority. This is the one activity you do with your special mate that you choose to do it with. (Assuming that the perimeters of the relationship is a monogamous union. If polygamous and more than one partner, communicate the boundaries with all parties involved.)

Sex is vital and imminent to the health of all bodies and minds. Sex awakens healing and pleasure in all realms—physical, emotional, mental, energetic and spiritual. Make time and space for mind blowing, body altering, orgasmic, wet, juicy, penetrating, God-connecting, heavenly, healing, divine sex with your partner.

Be Clear and Straight Up

Communicate communicate communicate! Be clear on the perimeters of the agreement between the two (or more) of you. Allow them to naturally evolve as the level and depth of commitment and connection evolves. Allow for the relationship to blossom from an internal desire of wanting more and more and more.

Don’t try to “make it work” and/or “make it fit” if the shoe just doesn’t fit. You’ll get blisters. Every human being is different and has their own individual set of needs and wants. Whether it be an open and/or casual relationship, polygamous, monogamous and/or fully committed, be direct in your intentions and desires, express where you’re at so the other is aware.

Ask questions if you’re curious and want to know. No one can read minds, regardless of how sensitive and/or intuitive one may be. Express yourself and speak up. Don’t beat around the bush. Manipulation is not allowed and based from fear. Stay rooted in the intention of your heart. Be direct so there are no misunderstandings or miscommunications. Be clear in your communication and come from a place of love.

Love Yourself

Love yourself first. Only then can you truly love others.

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Ed: Sara Crolick

About Chloe Park

Chloe Park is an Artist, Spiritual Teacher, Yoga and Meditation Instructor, Holistic Healing Practitioner, Life Coach, Women's Empowerment Leader, Social Change Activist and Ethnobotanist. A traveling Healer and Teacher, she roams the Earth to share her message: unconditional love, self-healing and awakening. She uses the medium of writing, holistic healing, medicinal plants, yoga and meditation to help all those along the Path to attain harmony with mind, body and spirit. She is devoted to facilitating the space for Healing, Love and Truth and is passionate about bringing ancient practices and traditions into the modern times we live. Her intention with her writing is to offer Q&A for all those who are engaged in the dialogue. Chloe also writes for MindBodyGreen, Healthline, WorldLifestyle, and Yahoo Shine!. To stay connected with her current projects, retreats, teachings and traveling schedule, find her on Facebook: www.facebook.com/chloeparkhealing or visit her website: www.chloeparkhealing.com. Spiritual counseling and life coaching sessions with Chloe are available via Skype. May we all wake up together. ॐ

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