A Safe Place to Fall. ~ Leace Hughes

Via Leace Hugheson Oct 8, 2013

ASafePlaceToFall

If you knew you were going to fall, wouldn’t you want a safe place to do it?

Being in the pursuit of happiness has become very popular. So popular we sometimes find ourselves in the pursuit of happiness for other people. We have all done it. It starts with; “you know what you need?”

Sometimes I am more open to listening to the ‘do you know what you need’ comments than others. Sometimes I am actually seeking other people’s solutions. From the outside, my life looks like it’s in constant turmoil.

I feel that I have come here to learn certain lessons and when everything remains status quo for too long, I am probably not learning anything. But, I could use a break. I feel weak and tired at times. I feel like my soul has been ripped to shreds and there is nothing left.

I felt alone and scared and the few people I had decided to put on pedestals were falling off. I didn’t feel safe in my world anymore. I couldn’t see anyone that would be there for me to safely fall. It was almost like I was playing that trust game where you stand to your back to someone and fall and you know they will catch you. Only the person wouldn’t be able to catch me.

I am not on the pursuit to happiness though. This is what is hard for others to understand. I am looking for a safe place to fall. I know I am going to fall, I have prayed for this. I just want a safe place to do it.

Some of the recommended gems to happiness have been the obvious—love, friendship, helping others, exercise, being positive, showing gratitude, and some sort of spiritual fulfillment.

There are gurus telling us about living in the now. That sounds wonderful when everything is going great, but what about when things aren’t? They have you covered, saying things like, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

I have to admit, sometimes I just feel down. The other day someone said to me, “Ever since I have met you, you have had one thing happen after the next!” It’s true. It’s like one disaster followed by another one.

I believe that this is all happening just the way it was meant for me. I remember praying for understanding, less of an ego, appreciation of the little things, opportunities to give, opportunities to experience love, and not being stuck in one place in my personal growth too long.

I guess I can’t be all that surprised when I started having vivid dreams, almost sleep waking with messages to give me understanding. I probably shouldn’t damn this gift even though I didn’t realize that asking for a deeper understanding and lack of sleep would go together for me.

I remember seeing other people and pointing out their ego “issues,” praying that I never get like that. I never wanted my ego to be so huge that I would forget we are all human. I never dreamt that for me to learn this, I would be stripped of my ego in such a way that I would be stripped of my health, money, objects and even people I cared about.

I thought that I had always had an appreciation for what many would say are ‘little things.’ I remember treasuring the smallest gifts—even if someone gave me a phone call, it had so much meaning for me. What I didn’t understand was that I needed to feel appreciation for something as small as breathing. Even when I was so sick and breath did not come easy, I grew to appreciate it.

I love to give. Although I prayed that I would have more opportunities to give, I didn’t realize that too would sting. I thought giving all of my things away would be the ultimate of giving. It wasn’t. Apparently, my opportunity to give is for me to give the lessons of my life experiences to other people. Perhaps through my struggles, someone else could have the gift of wisdom. That is the gift that cannot be touched. It does have value and is one of the hardest gifts to give unselfishly.

When I prayed for the chance to experience love, I had no idea what it was. I remembering asking everyone I ran into, “What is love?” Everyone had different answers and soon I wasn’t sure what I was praying for anymore. I later learned that on my course of life, I would experience what love isn’t so I could later understand what love is.

As I realized that all of these disasters were more than just lessons, my personal growth never remained stagnant. There has been lots of pain, loss and sadness. Taking lemons and making lemonade is an old saying that does not even make any sense to me at this point in my life. I would never look at lemons as something I needed to change.

During meditation, I slow my breathing down and I can see myself falling. I realize in this moment that I have a safe place to fall. I previously thought that most people were not safe. Now I see that it was okay for me to expect others to be there for me.

It is important to see the human side of people. If I am unable to see that in them, my life’s work is useless.

 

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Editor: Sara Crolick

{Photo: Nernad Klarie/Pixoto}

 

About Leace Hughes

Leace Hughes began her spiritual journey with a terminal illness.  Faced with death and a plethora of dis-eases and medications, she decided to leave that all behind for life.  With a lot of attention on healthcare, she had to leave “sickcare” behind.  The road was sometimes all uphill, but each step forward left an imprint on her soul giving her the message that life was for the living.  She is now dancing to a different drummer and the angel of death has been missing in action.  If you find it, please remember her address is unknown.

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