This is not okay. Ever.

Teenagers, young adults, anyone with self-respect, I’m talking to you.

This is not okay. (Please just mentally repeat this so that I don’t have to re-write that one more time.)

Have you seen the viral sensation Drake Hands?

Some dude tried to get a girl to want to date him by sending her a video of himself touching his face with his own hands while a Drake song played in the background.

Essentially he met her at Starbucks and sent her this—the ultimate selfie—and she, well, basically shared it with the entire world.

Oh. My. Effing. God.

This is why you should put your f*cking phone down. 

Okay, here’s the original video:

Yeah. Ummm.

And here’s an excerpt from the article that HuffPost shared about Drake Hands. 

“Never send selfies to strangers. We repeat: NEVER SEND SELFIES TO STRANGERS. Especially not video selfies.

As you will see from the following Internet movement, if you send an embarrassing selfie to someone you meet in Starbucks, countless people across the country will see it, make fun of you and imitate you.

Here’s how it all started: a girl was approached by a guy standing in line with her at Starbucks. He asked for her number. She gave it to him, and he sent her a video selfie. The video essentially consists of the guy staring into the camera, touching his face while Drake’s “Hold On, We’re Going Home” plays. The girl’s friend put that selfie on Instagram six days ago, and the rest was history.”

And now the whole thing has gone so viral that there’s actually an entire YouTube category featuring Drake Hands parodies. (I’m serious.) Look for yourself. Or at least just look at this one—it’s the Gremlins edition—yes, a stuffed animal from the 80’s movie Gremlins. I almost peed myself laughing.

And you know how “selfie” recently made it into the dictionary? Well, let’s just say you’re better off not having your picture next to it as the most famous, most embarrassing selfie video ever.

While this story might not be as intellectual as, say, a story on the shutdown, it is sadly relevant to our current cultural climate.

(And, guys, remember to just woo girls the old-fashioned way: with flowers and kindness. Thanks. Love, all women everywhere.)

 

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Ed: Bryonie Wise