Santa Like You’ve Never Seen Him Before. ~ Laura & Kathryn Ashworth {Photos}

Via Laura & Kathryn Ashworthon Dec 10, 2013

http://www.flickr.com/photos/peterthoeny/11281529394/sizes/m/

One of the more uncomfortable childhood memories my sister and I share is when we went to the mall to visit “Santa Claus.”

We were probably two of a thousand cranky children that day, but that doesn’t really excuse how tightly he squeezed our arms. It did hurt.

I don’t really understand why we drag our children to the mall to sit on a strangers lap, whom often looks grumpy behind the beard, and sometimes hungover. And do children really want to go see santa, or do we just want to see our children with Santa?

I know a few kids who beg to wait in line for hours and hours on end (and I have waited with them) just to meet this mythical creature—so I already know that some children do, in fact, love this experience.

However, in ode to our very uncomfortable meet-and-greet, we’ve chosen only the best photos that reflect Santa Claus anxiety:

1. Let’s begin with a peace offering, (that failed). 

not for reuse

 2. Then there’s this guy:

Awkward…looks like Santa got in a bar fight last night.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lighttable/3100401248/in/photolist-5HU6wV-5HU6xT-5HU6yp-5HU6z2-5HU6zr-5HU6A2-5HU6BF-5HU6Cz-5HU6D6-5HU6DH-5HYncw-5HYneJ-5HYngW-5HYnib-5HYniA-5HYnkQ-5HYnnw-5K8Hzs-5KTFRa-5LXy7c-5McF1v-5MvZwy-5Mw169-5P2y6e-5PcrvR-5PqQsD-5QFTzQ-7mUqJu-7mUqMs-7mUqRS-7mUqUC-7n3ZAt-7p1tVR-7pNQZx-7qdca1-7qyN7M-7ryA6h-7rZohm-7sejdL-7skDxU-7tvySB-8ZAYoW-aZskGH-aY9hbX-95hQ5q-hN2BrQ-dySdep-91sP9G-7zDhgs-dEib6n-aEPhXq/

Here’s the Mugshot:

santa mugshot

3. Mom looks starstruck, baby looks like a nihilist.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lighttable/3100401320/sizes/m/in/photolist-5HU6wV-5HU6xT-5HU6yp-5HU6z2-5HU6zr-5HU6A2-5HU6BF-5HU6Cz-5HU6D6-5HU6DH-5HYncw-5HYneJ-5HYngW-5HYnib-5HYniA-5HYnkQ-5HYnnw-5K8Hzs-5KTFRa-5LXy7c-5McF1v-5MvZwy-5Mw169-5P2y6e-5PcrvR-5PqQsD-5QFTzQ-7mUqJu-7mUqMs-7mUqRS-7mUqUC-7n3ZAt-7p1tVR-7pNQZx-7qdca1-7qyN7M-7ryA6h-7rZohm-7sejdL-7skDxU-7tvySB-8ZAYoW-aZskGH-aY9hbX-95hQ5q-hN2BrQ-dySdep-91sP9G-7zDhgs-dEib6n-aEPhXq/

Baby’s favorite quote: ”When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche.

Mom has no idea.

4. Santa’s a government spy. Kid to the left knows too much. Elf looks like a kid.

not for reuse

Here’s proof that Santa is a top secret agent:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/soldiersmediacenter/5284850771/sizes/m/

8. We actually feel like Santa is the one being held captive in this one.

not for reuse

7. And last but not least, we present: zen baby.

He’s probably quoting Thích Nhất Hạnh by memory as his brother attempts the most daring escape of his life.

Baby (telling brother telepathically): “Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lighttable/3099567901/sizes/m/in/photolist-5HU6wV-5HU6xT-5HU6yp-5HU6z2-5HU6zr-5HU6A2-5HU6BF-5HU6Cz-5HU6D6-5HU6DH-5HYncw-5HYneJ-5HYngW-5HYnib-5HYniA-5HYnkQ-5HYnnw-5K8Hzs-5KTFRa-5LXy7c-5McF1v-5MvZwy-5Mw169-5P2y6e-5PcrvR-5PqQsD-5QFTzQ-7mUqJu-7mUqMs-7mUqRS-7mUqUC-7n3ZAt-7p1tVR-7pNQZx-7qdca1-7qyN7M-7ryA6h-7rZohm-7sejdL-7skDxU-7tvySB-8ZAYoW-aZskGH-aY9hbX-95hQ5q-hN2BrQ-dySdep-91sP9G-7zDhgs-dEib6n-aEPhXq/

Baby 20 years later:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/danielwilliams/2794988571/sizes/m/in/photolist-5fZ3J8-5m5gnT-5z3t6C-5F5vcp-62W36B-682XuD-68Fcii-6aspce-6csDnp-6emrxj-6enJ69-6nKd3c-6utWGw-6wwtsC-6PsMjm-6RTkx4-75nxy8-7cZm2F-7jWfib-9Zaqeg-8pQrQK-86VALc-8icqUp-8icqVB-8ifGgu-8ifGb7-8ict8p-8ifE9s-8ifGaq-8Wiu3x-8fDeLY-hQGkdZ-bb1ZjZ-95iCFm-8vyWNx-bUFCgP-bvgyLJ-an22DR-9tMTqf-af2YAL-bcu5DD-aYJTiB-b9yBSZ-7SyhKR-83Qz2L-9nGTH8-7V91ZV-fmXgSB-9k9ZeS-asYRFc-dqLkeK/

 

Namaste, Santa Claus.

 

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Editor: Bryonie Wise

{Photos courtesy of flickr}

About Laura & Kathryn Ashworth

Kathryn Ashworth lives in Richmond, Virginia with her cat Johfrit (the littlest knight).  When she’s not writing and daydreaming, she’s grounding herself on the yoga mat. She believes in the transformative power of art and spirituality. Currently she’s studying to become a certified yoga instructor. She welcomes new friends. You can find her on FacebookLaura Ashworth currently lives in Richmond, Virginia. She’s a mermaid at heart and thus her passion for barren, waterless landscapes often confounds her. She welcomes new friends. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter, or on her fictional humor blog about a fledgling magazine, Spugnacious.

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One Response to “Santa Like You’ve Never Seen Him Before. ~ Laura & Kathryn Ashworth {Photos}”

  1. Ho ho ho.. Nice Pics Collection of Santa Claus.. I love that first one, that is too funny

    Santa Claus

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