Plays for hours in a puddle; hates taking a bath.

That’s how my dog is and perhaps dogs across the world. Puddles? Acceptable. Baths? Unforgivable. Perfectly happy to play for hours in the puddles at the dog park that have goodness only knows what growing in the water.

My dog is part Greyhound; she flies through puddles. The deeper, the better. I’m yelling, “Don’t drink that! Get out!”

Why am I yelling? She’s not listening and I am certainly 1) not going to be able to catch her, but 2) I’m not going in that puddle to attempt to stop her. Gross.

Pointless anyway. She’s in Heaven. Dirty Dog Heaven.

Fast forward an hour later…

“Oh My God! A bath! Nooo! Lady, please, no! The horror! The clean, fresh water. The soap! The suds. The scrubbing! Oh, okay. That does feel good. Keep that up all you want, Lady.”

I know this is what she’s thinking. I can see it in her eyes—her body slowly moving to the side of the tub setting up an escape.

I move her back, “Stay. It isn’t that bad, Sissy.”

She looks up, pouting, “Yes, it is. You’re a horrible lady, Lady.”

When the “torture” of the bath is over, she’s towel dried and I wipe down the bathroom while she blasts through the house, “Now, I have to pee, lady! Let’s go!”

This video is awesome.

Oh, if only our dogs could really talk.

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Editor: Bryonie Wise