Recently, the press was abuzz with the news that a Duke University freshman was paying her tuition in a rather usual way by moonlighting as a porn star.

Apparently, the young woman was outed by a fellow student on a social media site. Rather than hide or say nothing, the woman gave a series of interviews and penned a piece for a popular website defending her decision to star in “rough sex porn” saying among other things that:

“Shooting pornography brings me unimaginable joy. When I finish a scene, I know that I have done so and completed an honest day’s work. It is my artistic outlet: my love, my happiness, my home.”

She also makes a good point that “porn (a billion-dollar industry) is consumed by millions of people—men and women (and all other equally wonderful genders) alike—yet no one is willing to consider the lives of the people behind the camera.”

As a feminist who believes that everyone has the right to do whatever they wish with their own bodies, I don’t think it’s up to me or anyone to tell someone not to pursue a career in porn if they so desire.

However, the author lost me by saying that she “did not expect” that her outing would bring about hurtful comments and harassment that she received online as well as all sorts of negative speculation about her intelligence and work ethic. I find it particularly ironic that she follows this list of unexpected things with the statement: “Let’s be clear about one thing: I know exactly what I’m doing. What about you?”

She has me there. I am nearly two decades older than the author and I don’t know exactly what I am doing. However, I can honestly say that I knew even less when I was her age.

Reading her story struck a familiar chord with me. As someone who attended and graduated from a rival school an hour west of Duke University, I know all too well what’s it’s like to attend an elite university with an exorbitant tuition that my family could not afford.

I graduated with student loan debt, and it took me years to pay it off. (It was the same with graduate school, only I am still paying that off.) Therefore, I can probably empathize with the author a lot more than many of her well-heeled Duke classmates.

However, I am glad I never turned to porn to pay the bills.

I am not saying this out of any glee or holier-than-thou spite. While it’s unlikely that, given the chance, I would have cleared my student loans by appearing in a porn video, I did do many things I shouldn’t have.

Note that I said ignorance and not stupidity.

From an early age, I was quite intelligent and excelled in school. I thought I knew it all by the time I graduated from college. However, looking back, I realize that I knew not nearly as much as I thought. Science has recently suggested that none of us are really mature at that age.

Brain maturity may not occur until 25 years old. 

As one of those young people who used to roll their eyes at such statements, it really is true that life experience as well as the wisdom that often comes with aging was the best education I ever got.

When I was 22, I never thought that I would get married, have a child or regret anything I did in my younger days. While I ultimately ended up doing all three, my biggest surprise was that last one: I regret a lot of things, even things I didn’t think I would. Some of them I regretted an awful lot. I’m just thankful that nothing I did ended up being public or accessible forever, thanks to the power of the internet.

I thought of many of these things when reading the young woman’s account. I also thought how my own views of women and pornography have changed over the years.

As I shared in a recent piece, I came of age right around the time the internet was transforming the industry. Suddenly, there was a rise of feminists and adult film stars claiming that porn could be empowering. I wanted to believe that.

However, as the recent troubles of (arguably) the world’s best-know porn star Jenna Jameson have shown, even those who claim to be happy and well-adjusted often tell a different tale later on.

As I have become older and learned more about the industry, my thinking has changed. I take claims that it’s liberating to women and sex-positive with a huge grain of salt. I would imagine that now even Jenna Jameson may say otherwise. Still, even at her peak Jameson was quick to point out the reality of being a porn star. To paraphrase a quote from her bestselling autobiography: once you do it, you will always be known as a porn star, even when you are 80 and in a nursing home.

Likewise, while the vitriol aimed at the Duke student is disgusting, it’s a sad consequence—once you decide to become a public figure (and really, what could be more public than being a porn star?), you will attract all sorts of attention including the sort you never wanted.

Also, I have to disagree with the people who say that those of us who aren’t comfortable with her decision are participating in “slut-shaming.” We aren’t—at least, I am not. For me, it’s merely pointing out that actions made when one is young can have far-reaching, damaging consequences that we never anticipated at the time.

For example, while she addresses the inevitable questions about her future employment by saying, “I wouldn’t want to work for someone who discriminates against sex workers,” I cringe because it sounds like something I may have said before I knew what it was like to have ideals and face the reality of needing/wanting gainful employment in order to live.

It may not be “fair” but an individual’s image does play a large role in their career options.

If a would-be employer is aware of her past and decides she is not a right fit for their company, then they are well within their rights not to hire her.

Lastly, while the author’s byline of her piece is “I am a porn star. I am a college freshman. You know nothing about me,” the fact that she asks those who know her true identity not to disclose it as well as a comment to the man who outed her that he “ruined [her] life” suggests that perhaps she is not as comfortable with her choice as she claims.

While the opinions of others probably won’t have an impact on her decision to continue in her chosen profession, I hope that others—young women and young men alike—will stop to consider before they decide to embark on a similar path. At least, I suggest talking to people who are older and asking them to share what choices they made as young adults that they incorrectly thought would never have an impact on their future.

Likewise, when the anonymous young woman boasts that she will be graduating from her dream college “debt-free,” I hope that includes non-fiscal debt as well.

Otherwise, she may end up wishing she was living with the burden of student debt than the burden of forever being labeled a porn star well-after her porn career is over, no matter how many degrees she earns.

 

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Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Wikimedia Commons