Every choice you’ve ever made, every path you’ve ever walked down, has brought you to the place you are now.

Right here.

Your collective thoughts and decisions have created your current life situation. And you’re here for a reason.

These have always been my fundamental thoughts about life. You are where you are for a reason. Nothing is random. But when you lose one of the people closest to your heart, all of a sudden none of it makes sense anymore.

I’m supposed to be here? I made this happen? I’m here for a reason? What?

I had a realization yesterday. Sitting on the beach where we swam together for the last time, seven weeks ago. We took our tops off and ran screaming to the shore and threw ourselves in the ocean. As we ducked under the waves the sky turned deep orange, red, pink.

It was so beautiful.

“I want to stay in this moment forever“, I said. You smiled. “We will, macha. This is just the beginning.”

Maybe it’s not that you needed to pass away. Maybe I can let go of the why.

It happened because it happened and sometimes things just are the way they are and we don’t need to understand it all. Maybe this is the beginning and not the end.

Maybe I need to go through this right now, or I wouldn’t be here. That means, I am where I am for a reason.

And it’s time to start trusting in life again.

 

 

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Editor: Renée Picard

Photo: courtesy Rachel Brathen