This One’s for My Skinny Sisters.

Via
on May 23, 2014
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scrawny sistas

I am a size zero.

I am as active and inactive as anyone else.

There are stretches where I don’t use my body and other days where I find myself on my mat twice a day.

My metabolism is on steroids: I burn through sugar faster than a tub of Ben and Jerry’s in the hands of a woman watching chick flick re-runs after a break up.

I have never shoved my finger down my throat, or been on a diet.

I have tried to gain weight through certain parts of my life—feeling self conscious of my weight and envious of women with beautiful full hips. I tried protein shakes, lifting weights—but saw little changes in my body weight. I became more muscular and fit, but my thin ass stuck around.

Some days I steam kale and eat like my body is a temple and other days I eat popcorn for dinner. I eat whatever I want, when I want and feel good about it.

I’m just little.

I used a picture of my back for the feature image of my last article “A Take No Shit List For Your Well Being.”

A woman commented on the article saying,

“Wouldn’t it be even better if the picture were of a person more realistic? This size zero blow dried super tan model just turns me right off the content.”

I was the size zero in that photograph.

The day I took the image holding my hands powerfully above me amongst mountain peaks I had hiked 24 kms into a valley in Jasper National Park to camp in the bush. I hadn’t showered, I was sweating, I was greasy from bug dope and covered in dirt. Nothing was blow dried or airbrushed. The article was about standing in our power—and in that image I was gloriously basking in my own.

I am also not a model. I am a real, breathing woman who walks on this earth beside all of you.

Size zeros are real women too. Models, for that matter, are real women too.

I understand that our world might be sick of media shoving glorified, thin, air brushed models down our throats, but is the solution to throw all skinny women under a bus because they don’t have hips to hold on to?

We are the reason skinny women splatter front pages of magazines. So instead of spiting fire at a woman because she gets paid to be photographed or has a Thumbelina waist, why not revolt against the seeds we planted that grew into an existence of a world obsessed with exploiting women and body image.

In her article “The Beauty Myth,” Naomi Wolf reported that, “thirty-three thousand women told American researchers they would rather lose ten to fifteen pounds than achieve any other goal.”

Through repeated images of excessively thin women in media, advertisement, and modeling, thinness has become associated with not only beauty, but happiness and success.

From my skinny ass to yours: that’s horrendous bollocks.

If we want to radically shift our world we need to begin stepping over body image—trivial measurements of our worth and beauty, and relentlessly love ourselves.

“Authentic self-love is crazy sexy, whatever your body looks like.” ~ Bryan Reeves

We live in a world where we are quick to judge a woman by what the label on her pants say.

A woman’s “realness” and divinity has diddly squat to do with her waist size.

I want skinny to stop being idolized by the world and I also want women to stop throwing it under the bus.

I want us to all love our juicy souls and fleshy bodies and ride the bus together free of compare, resent and judgements.

The solution isn’t to pass a thin woman on the street and tell her to “eat something.”

I have been self conscious of my body for most of my life. I tip toe and refrain from saying it out loud, because people get offended that someone who’s “skinny” could struggle with body image.

Yes, “size zeroes” have issues with self acceptance and body image too. You won’t automatically be at home in your body when you shrink your waist—that’s not how it works.

We all have to love the crap out of ourselves every damn day.

I get flack about my weight all the time. This summer I had a man walk beside me after a delicious, stretchy yoga class as I basked in the sun drinking coffee and remark,

“Jesus, gain some weight.”

I have people make jokes at the expense of my size on a weekly basis. When I suggest eating a big ol’ greasy burger with poutine at the restaurant I serve at, people scoff and say, “sure, like you eat the likes of those.” They laugh, naïve that what they are doing is in fact misplaced and even abusive.

When I was younger, the girls on my volleyball team laughed at my skinny, knobby knees and flat chest. My nickname was “twiggy.”

I hated my body.

I will never forget the older boys at school who sneered and laughed and bullied me growing up because I was skinny—the ones who inspired my self esteem to build some nasty beliefs about myself that I am still undoing.

I will never forget the women who came up to me in a shopping mall when I was 14 and put their hands around my ankles, measuring the size of my legs and shrieking disgustedly at my size.

I wonder if they would have done the same if I was a 300 pound woman?

There seems to be an awful lot of light on bullying of people who swing to one side of the scale—but what about the other?

A friend of mine told me the other day her nine year old sibling is constantly bullied at school and wears baggy-sleeved shirts in shame of his body. His teacher even brought up that he was “too skinny” in front of his whole class. Allowing and encouraging a class full of fragile, thirsty minds to hear his idiocy and carry on treating others abusively.

After a self growth course this year, a woman approached me and thanked me for sharing my struggle for self acceptance and love about my size zero skinny ass; previously she had had no idea that thin women got bullied too. She had been on the other end of the getting-made-fun-of weight spectrum and was shocked to hear me speak of my own path of accepting and loving my own body.

This just in: we all have to walk a journey to self love and acceptance.

We all have insecurities and parts of our bodies we might feel ashamed of or wish were just a little big bigger or smaller.

We all must face discrimination, assumptions, judgements and deal with other people’s opinions of our shells.

We are dealt genetic cards at birth and show up in all shapes and sizes. Some of us have petite bums, some of us have asses to hold on to, some of us are dealt pancakes, some of us get tits that inspire other women to take fat of their ass and sew it to their chests. We are all so damn perfect and worthy of walking this planet free from harassment.

So unless we figure out a way to turn back time and negotiate our genetics with the universe, I get double A boobs and this skinny ass.

And all of it is just a shell—like wrapping paper tossed aside on Christmas morning to uncover the juicy and sweetest parts of our souls.

I still get in fights with my self esteem from time to time, but I am ferociously learning to take myself as I am and to love myself up—in all my phenomenal skinny glory.

“Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful.”

~ Sophia Loren

The first step in disintegrating body image discrimination is connecting with our own raw hearts before we speak. The solution is being able to see women in all shapes and sizes and refrain from making unjustified assumptions on their diets.

The solution is not to wonder how much she eats and if when she gets up to pee halfway through her meal if she is going to shove her finger down her throat in the company of a toilet.

Skinny is not superior. It’s just another measurement floating around in the genetic universe.

Our souls, our beauty, and our brilliance is not measured by something as trivial as our waist size or our exteriors.

“Size does not make a difference—we cannot take our bodies with us into eternity.”-Thomas Voelker

The solution is to just really love each other, exactly as we are.

I am writing today to say all bodies are beautiful, but I am speaking specifically to speak to my scrawny sisters—those of you who get flack all the damn time—and are too afraid to speak out against outrageous, malicious comments, opinions and jokes because you are “lucky” to be little.

You are extraordinary in all your skinny glory; you are magnificent in all your Thumbelina smallness. I love all hundred and five pounds of each of your size zero asses—don’t spend a moment in shame when faced with other’s disposable opinions of your exterior.

And to those of you who poke fun at my slim sisters, my brosistas, or myself—with preconceived misconceptions that your imposed opinions are somehow justified—hear me roar.

I will not stand for your harassment. I will not cower down from your inappropriate stares at my lanky legs and knobby knees, I will not bend over and take your foolish, atrocious assumptions on what my body “should” look like. I will not shove my head in the sand and be assaulted by your blatant ignorance.

My skinny, healthy ass is marvelous as it is.

And so is yours.

So let’s all get on the damn bus together and build a world that isn’t measured by the width of our hips.

Let’s build one that is measured by the walloping, insurmountable beauty within our hearts and the undeniable succulence of our souls.

More love—less of everything else.

authors own (skinny ass)

“Though she be but little, she is fierce.” ~ William Shakespeare

 

Relephant Reads! 

Relephant: enjoy a diet of loving-kindness:

An inspiring woman:

Weight loss, racism, self-acceptance, humor:

> Why I’d Rather be a Skinny B**** 

Can We Retire the Phrase “Real Women,” Please?

Skinny Love: Skin & Bones.

 

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Editor: Renée Picard

Images: courtesy of Janne Robinson


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About Janne Robinson

Janne Robinson is a poet, writer, bushwalker, idealist and animal activist currently residing in Vancouver Island. She cuts kindling with her teeth, eats Bukowski for breakfast and makes the habit of saying the word feminist as much as possible. She surfs naked, pees in the woods, and loves whiskeys that swing their hips when they walk and know what they are doing. Janne's life-work is to be transparent. She makes a living off hanging her dirty and clean laundry out for the world to see. Her mission is to give others permission to also walk and exist with the same transparency. You can connect with her on TwitterInstagram and Facebook. Please also visit and connect with her Facebook writer's page. Check out Janne's website.

Comments

335 Responses to “This One’s for My Skinny Sisters.”

  1. Justine says:

    Beautifully written, thank you so much for this.

  2. elephantjournal says:

    Mary Bradley Love this! Thank you!!
    Like · Reply · 1 · about an hour ago

    Lauren H Wow…this article feels like it was written about me. I've been skinny my whole life too (well, fluctuated about 20 pounds) but I get it. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    Mercedes B Oooh gosh I am in this very same boat. Everyone assumes I'm puking or on drugs…non of which are true! Just very lil parents n a crazy fast metabolism

    Jen Blanchard Thanks for this!

    Tania Diaz M Andrea M

    Allison L Thank you! Working on undoing all that insecurity myself…

    Paula S Thank you for writing this. thank you thank you thank you.

  3. elephantjournal says:

    Dana M: <3

    Olivia M This is perfect.

  4. SerendipitySandii says:

    WOW!! Completely nailed it!! My skinny ass humbly thanks you! X

  5. Kris Lord says:

    From one teeny gal to another, thanks. :) I was also very self-conscious of my small size as a child, not to mention going through late puberty (losing my last baby tooth as a sophomore in high school. On the upper right side. Looked good in my soccer photos…). I am familiar with the snide comments to 'gain some weight' from perfect strangers, and I've never understood why they felt it was appropriate to comment, when to say the opposite to a larger person is incredibly rude. Thankfully, I've reached the age where I just don't give a crap anymore, and I enjoy my build and my strength.

  6. Kate Stockford says:

    Awesome article, Im not teeny, not large but curvy and have/had body image issues as do most women at some point in their lives , sometimes for their whole life. So sad. Women's bodies are so beautiful when naked, big or small. If that last photo is of you, beautiful, you don't have a skinny bum :), you have a beautiful womanly bum :D. Thank you for a fantastic article. xx

  7. Jim says:

    I'm a skinny 54 year old male. I've heard the same comments my whole life. It crosses the gender line too. Oh well. I'm proud I don't carry a beer belly – and my wife is too!

  8. Charity says:

    I was a 5'6 105 lb flat chested "girl" until I hit my mid 30's. I remember trying everything to gain weight just so I could feel better about my tiny body. I was treated and referred to as a young lady or girl until I finally had breast enhancements and gained weight. I have 3 children now and weigh 135…I am also pushing 40. Now I've been made to feel uncomfortable because I'm a bit heavier than some of my relatives. Luckily I'm old enough now that I really don't care what others say, think, or feel about my body. It's mine. I live with it and I love it. Those who have an opinion can either keep it to themselves or kiss myy ass!

  9. kate says:

    This this 1000 times this!!! I am 5'5" and 100 lbs. I have not reached acceptance, let alone love, of my body. But I am trying. Thank you for this.

  10. JessC says:

    Thank you for sharing!! I am also a tiny gal, 5'4 and weight fluctuates between 108 and 111. I go back and forth all the time thinking I need to put on some pounds and I've tried everything except eating McDonald's everyday. For me it's not about packing on the pounds by any means possible but feeling good inside and out. I'm small, I'll probably always be small and self love and acceptance are key. So thank you!

  11. Bryan Reeves says:

    How about for our skinny brothers, too!!

    I also was teased a lot growing up for being skinny. Even as an adult people would tell me I need to eat more. I simply felt healthy. As a culture, we value bigger is better, supersize everything: our homes, our food, our muscles, our market, our wallets, our reach, etc. except our women. We don't like supersized women. But don't be too skinny, either. You ladies just can't win in this insane setup.

    As a man, being called skinny was just another way of being emasculated, as if I wasn't physically big enough to warrant my masculinity. Craziness all of it. Great article.

    Cheers to the skinny people. And the fat ones, too, and everyone in between. We're all too sexy for our shirts … and this insanity!

  12. Kate says:

    Who is throwing skinny women under the bus? No one. Literally. No one.

  13. @DrTMarshall says:

    Excellent article Janne! Beautifully written and eloquently expressed! Loved it.

    I could sooo relate, and being a fellow skinny sentient being was always trying to put on some weight…as guys are just as much as affected as you beautiful, skinny girls. :) With the billion dollar, weight-loss, fat-burning industry and its prevalence in the media – many people are striving to be thinner these days, though if you go a touch too thin (ala Tara Stiles for example), or for myself at times – you immediately engage a full-on critique by those who believe you have something wrong with you.

    It's quite frankly looney tunes, and a mix of contradictions – and what's really crazy is, you're fantastically beautiful (from head to toe)….and have a beautiful womanly figure. Though, you already know that! …just thought I would reinforce that one more time.

    Anyhow, your article really hits the nail on the head, in a big way!!

    It will undoubtedly help a great many people (and already has, I'm sure), who like us…lived in a shadow of doubt, and wavering self-love and acceptance – who will see this as a blessing, and their beautiful skinny-ness in the light it deserves. :)

    Warmly,
    Tim

  14. Lora says:

    Great article! I've been skinny my whole life and I'm in my 50's. I marvel when someone thinks it's okay to say to me, "Have you lost weight?" using a tone that reflects it is not okay if I have. I would never say to someone, "Have you gained weight?"

  15. Laura says:

    Thank you! I'm 35 and weigh 95, I've had similar experiences.
    Skinny women are not sick, we are just skinny! We are just little!
    Have a nice a life!

  16. Cindy says:

    YES! Thank you for this! At 5'3 and 99 lbs. I'm considered pretty little. Either they think your anorexic, a meth addict or you have cancer. Nope, just physically fit with a turbo metabolism. If we could all just drop the veil of judgement and see the soul of humanity in each individual this world would be a better place. It's really that simple.

  17. cynthia D says:

    This is amazing!! And so needed – this is literally the first article I’ve read that sums up what I’ve been experiencing and feeling MY WHOLE DAMN SKINNY LIFE. It’s such a shame that this is ONLY the first article I’ve been able to find, but maybe this is only the beginning!?! I hope so. Such gratitude to you, for starting this conversation, and helping me and others feel less alone.

  18. Cindy says:

    Well. said.

    I tried to gain weight for years, until it crept on naturally as I entered my forties. The 'best' one came from a 'friend' who said, as we were bemoaning the plights of being thirty and single 'you don't have any problems in life: you're skinny'. Me: …..?? What do you say to that? Sigh.

  19. Kristen Arnett of GreenBeautyTeam.com says:

    THANK YOU!!! I have often said very similar things to people privately – so thank you for putting all of this wonderfulness together in one, well written article about true inclusivity, acceptance and in perspective that we are just flesh and bones – the soul is what counts. There were so many highlights, and this in particular really resonated: "The solution is not to wonder how much she eats and if when she gets up to pee halfway through her meal if she is going to shove her finger down her throat in the company of a toilet." I still wonder if people who aren't my friends are thinking that when I leave a table. Sending you lots of good vibes for representing us naturally slender ladies (and men) so well!

  20. Zoe says:

    Thanks for writing this, this is fabulous.

  21. Michele says:

    I appreciate this article, and yet am frustrated by multiple comments. Each and every one of us has a natural body size and should not be discouraged by it. Posting your height and weight will only discourage those that do struggle with eating disorders. If you truly want to be appreciated outisde of your height and weight, don't publisise it.

  22. Lexus says:

    well said – thanks for representing us skinny ones & the comments we receive on a daily basis. Which are totally bullying! Highlighting the illusion that happiness is skinny is the pearl here! much love & respect to you xx

  23. Nancy says:

    I don't think you have a skinny ass, I think it looks great!

  24. Jemma says:

    Love you writing, very inspiring :-)

  25. Lisa P says:

    'Bout time, Janne Robinson, someone put this in words! Thank you x

  26. jemandtaz says:

    Also if you get chance can you let me know what brand your clothing is that your wearing in that picture of you stretching. it's beautiful and i'd like to see if i can get it in the uk. SUPER FLATTERING!! :-)

  27. Shell says:

    I’m curious–who ever told you that you have a small or skinny ass? Because if that picture is truly of you in the bikini and hands above your head, girl it looks (to me) like you do not! I am 5’5″ and 135 and for the most part love my body (work in progress), and I would LOVE to have that juicy ass you have!! Were you born with that too or did that come from exercise?

  28. Melinda W. says:

    I am certain I could read this every day for the rest of my life. Though, even after reading it once, I felt empowered…as I am sure many other readers did as well. THANK YOU for this.

  29. thenicolemarie says:

    I am so grateful that someone is speaking out for ALL body types, but particularly the skinny girls. I can relate with every single sentiment and I absolutely agree that we need to start loving each other in EVERY form. I've often kept quiet about my struggle with body image, too, because I've had friends respond in ways that are less than sympathetic because I'm "not allowed" to feel that way – when in reality, I have been bullied and made to feel insecure about my body my entire life. I've been asked if I'm on drugs, have an eating disorder and have had grown women make sounds that my body must be disgusting. To this day, I won't go to the bathroom in a public place in the middle of a meal out of fear that people assume I'm throwing up. I cannot believe I'm not alone in that!

    Thank you so much for your words of empowerment – here's to the thin girls!!!!!!!!

  30. Sara Elle says:

    This made me cry. Thank you… <3

  31. Yogi Food says:

    Gotta tell ya- if that's your ass posted for the world to see in the pic above, it ain't skinny, it's quite round! I mean this in the nicest possible way~

  32. @wingzfly says:

    Janne, I am a photographer who regularly shoots editorial and fashion shoots in New York City and I absolutely love your article. I can't count the number of times that people have told models that I've been in the middle of shooting with on the streets of New York that "skinny ain't pretty." So many people assume that all models are anorexic or bulimic. They assume those girls never eat. And, probably worst of all, they assume that those models are their enemies.

    I can't speak for all models, but I can definitely speak for the girls I've watched devour an entire meal and then dive into a dessert after a photo shoot. I've known models that work hard to stay fit so they can eat what they want when they want and still keep doing the job they are paid to do. And I've seen those same models look at pictures of other women and tell them how gorgeous THEY are.

    Skinny women are not the enemy. They aren't there to make you feel bad about yourself or to talk badly about you. They are working, living, loving, and doing all the things that you do and trying to make the most of their lives. I haven't met one that's actively trying to make non-thin women feel worse about themselves.

    It gets exhausting trying to correct someone every time they post something like, "She needs a cheeseburger," under a picture from a shoot I've done, but I do it anyway because I hope that, next time, that person will think twice before making a comment like that. Most people don't realize they're being hurtful or bullying, but they are, and I love that this piece you wrote really cuts to the quick of that. I'm glad a friend shared this fantastic piece with me and I will share it with everyone I know! You've got a new subscriber! :)

  33. Courtney says:

    I am astonished by the praise for this article, and I’m probably going to be chastised for saying this, but how dare you? I’m morbidly obese and would LOVE one day to not stress incessantly about what I put in my mouth. Or if I want a serving size of ice cream, to not see the horrible looks of those judging. I worry about belly bulges and double chins. If it’s even a degree hotter than 68 I’m miserable. So how dare you complain when there are others of us that look upon you saying, “why I couldn’t I have born with those genes?”

  34. Lys says:

    Speaking as a Fat Lady, I think you are beautiful. I'm so tired of people feeling the need to criticize others for their body shape, whether skinny or fat or anything in between. I don't let it pass when people say, "She needs to put down the cheeseburgers and walk a couple of miles.", and I don't let it pass when people say, "She needs a pork chop or ten." Both are equally as rude and, quite frankly, no one else's business.

    Keep on enjoying life, whatever shape it takes. I'll be right there next to you with my round self! :)

  35. Hilda S. says:

    Hi! i just read your article and i ilove it i,m size cero too since i can remember, i almost cry reading this because im identified , i lived thouthg the same things, i tryied to go for that numbers that i have never reach, its the same story that happened to me , people dont know that we ,the "skinny ",cry because they laugh and make jokes of us like with the over size people, and the way you put it on words just full me, thank you for wrote this i send you lots of love from Costa Rica.

  36. max says:

    I'm calling BS on this one. There is a HUGE difference between fat and skinny shaming. Yes there are memes about "skinny girls not being real women" but all of the skinny shaming comes out of jealousy and envy. NOBODY is ever jealous or envious of a fat person. So even if a skinny woman is shamed for their size its never because they are seen as disgusting to the general public its because they are what society considers an ideal body type and it is a tactic to cut them down out of jealousy. I am a man. I am in great shape now. I use to be overweight and I have also been very thin and I can tell you any comments people made to me about being "too thin" were NOTHING compared to the comments shaming me for being fat. You have no idea unless you have been there and back. So I'm sorry…this whole thing with people whining about "skinny shaming" is complete and utter BS. I'm not saying its nice to put anyone down. Am I condoning shaming anyone? no….however when a thin person is shamed its out of jealousy. When a fat person is shamed its because society and people in general look at them as subhuman and disgusting. No matter how you slice it a thin person will ALWAYS be privileged and have advantaged because of the way they look. Its like a rich person bitching because people are making fun of them for having too much money. Its absurd. Thin people have major advantages in life. Get over it.

  37. dee says:

    Lassie, it's bollocks, not bollux.

  38. Shannon says:

    Thank you so much for this. Im a size 3 im almost 21 and I get told by my family and friends im to skinny. My sister looks at me like I do crack but I dont I cant help my body. My family thinks I dont eat. I eat like a horse. Im a person not just a skinny bitch that has problems. Im a normal girl. Im not that active. But I do walk places and eat right when im not eating horrible food. I needed to hear this Ive always been secure about my weight. Now I feel like im beautiful. Thank you so much.

  39. Randi says:

    Unfortunately, I’m not receiving the love you say we need more of. I agree. We need both love and compassion for one another. It must be lost somewhere in this rant. I do hear that you feel unseen and you suffer. As we all do… hoping you get all you need.

  40. Jackie says:

    This. Because even though ‘I’ am not skinny, all 5 of my kids are. My daughter is 10 and wears a little kids size 8 to fit her in the waist, but for pants she needs a girls 14slim to be long enough. She’s already been deemed a ‘stick’ by her friends. She is active and eats well. Alot has to do with genetics. I hate hearing from people that I should feed my kids. I do. They eat like crazy. But they also burn it off like crazy. From a mom that’s hoping to teach her kids that there’s more to life than the size of your body, your skinny, healthy ass is marvelous. Lol. Thank you 😉

  41. bex0r says:

    I hear your words about your struggle and empathize with it. I too, am on the thin side, always have been, but the difference is that I recognize that we live in a world that gives people with bodies like mine (and yours) certain privileges that it does not give to overweight ones. It's because of these privileges that calls to "begin stepping over body image" ring a bit hollow. You haven't lived the experience of an overweight person, so asking them to discard their hang-ups and baggage about their size seems a bit ignorant. Like people who claim not to "see color" and that in order to "get over" racism, we should stop talking about race issues, it's not simply enough to just focus on love. We must actively start dismantling the systemic causes of body dismorphia, which starts with acknowledging your privilege as a thin person – not defending it.

  42. noble hobbit says:

    been on both sides, was super active healthy skinny in my early 20's, now pleasantly plump in my mid 30's (post baby).
    I received negative comments about my body at both weights. all I can say is that the people negatively commenting on the bodies of others must be pretty unhappy in theirs. its a sad commentary on our society when there are much greater issues at hand in this world. great article :)

  43. Josie says:

    Thank you! I'm naturally skinny, and seem to have the same active/not active lifestyle as you. I had a woman approach me in the mall when I was a teen and asked me to please eat a sandwich. I will never forget that. Fat or skinny, mean comments hurts both ways. People seem to forget that.

  44. Ariel says:

    I think this piece does a really great job of highlighting the fact that all women- all people for that matter- are vulnerable to feeling insecure about their body and that body-shaming of any kind- whether it be because one's body is "too" "fat" or "too skinny" or "too/not curvy", etc. is unacceptable and that people of all sizes are celebrated. That said, I think it's important to acknowledge that "skinny" people, despite the rude comments they receive from people or the insecurities they may have about their appearance, nevertheless occupy a position of privilege in that society- magazines, tv shows, advertisements, clothing stores, etc- tells us that that kind of body (however modified) is the ideal and the only definition of beauty and health. Ashley Solomon at Nourishing the Soul puts it nicely re: the fact that not all bodies are shamed equally:

    "Perhaps I’m splitting hairs here, or playing right into the Pain Olympics (Waaa! We have it worse!). But I think that this statement is 100% untrue. To me, it’s like a white person saying, 'I want you to know that I am just as prejudiced against as a black person.' I just don’t buy it…..Everything that I know from reading countless research studies, following the HAES movement, working with patients across the full weight spectrum, and living as a person in a weight-focused world tells me that fat people have it worse. Period. Larger folks are shamed at nearly every turn – in the workplace, at the grocery store, on the internet, at restaurants, on the playground, in the voting booths, and in their own families, as a start. While perhaps (and I say that tentatively), the comments are more underground when it comes to people we consider overweight or obese, the effects (in salary, opportunities, respect, etc.) are profound. I think it’s important that we take a cold, hard look at the discrimination happening against larger people. We have to recognize privilege as it exists, or we are doomed to live blind and biased. That’s all. Now that I’ve stated that fat people have it worse, I recognize that it’s not all that helpful to pit one side against the other, and that’s not what I mean to do. Really. It doesn’t make what’s happening to [skinny women] better. I just think that making the comparison doesn’t have to be part of her argument. This actually shouldn’t be a battle of who is more shamed, because the real victims here are women in general. When fat people or thin people are shamed for their weight, we are all hurt. If we grow up fearing being anywhere but in the dead center of the weight spectrum, we perpetuate the stigmatization and we become terrified of letting our bodies find their natural rhythm."
    http://www.nourishing-the-soul.com/2012/05/are-sk

  45. Ashley Paige says:

    Amen. The thing that gets me is you arent THAT tiny. Im 5x smaller than you, so to me, your body is beautiful and you’ve got some meat on your bones! I’ve dealt with the same my entire life. I also speak up now, for myself and other, that I’ve gained some confidence back from the ongoing abuse. People do not realize that they are causing a lot of damage. They don’t see it the same way as on overweight person. They wouldn’t have the nerve to say those things to an overweight person. Keep doing what you’re doing. We have to keep spreading awareness to stop the bullying. <3

  46. I don't disagree with your overall opinion, but I would strongly like you to remember that while it sucks for all women, it still sucks way more for fat women. I say this as someone who has been considered both obese and underweight on the BMI scale, and who has stuck her finger down her throat (which you seem to be somewhat unaware that eating disorders have very little to do with being motivated by weight).

    Being comfortable or not comfortable in your body can happen to people at any weight; being systemically discriminated against by doctors, employers, and businesses is something that happens to fat people. They are by far and away the ones that are most hurt by our society's shitty attitudes towards women, and while I absolutely hate slogans like "real women have curves" because hell, you are a real woman even if you don't have curves! I also at the same time support them, because when there is systemic unfairness the correct approach is to correct for the group that is most hurt by the unfairness.

    Think about sexism. Sexism hurts men, too – a society that tells them they can't cry and their worth is based in masculinity is shitty. But the movement against sexism is called feminism because far and away women are the ones who are far more disadvantaged by the paradigm, and righting the wrongs against them is the primary concern.

    I completely understand where you're coming from, and I feel you. But honestly, we skinnies are not all that important right now. I hope for a world where no one comments on anyone's weight, ever. But while I get shitty off handed comments thrown by me at people who think anorexic is a compliment, it is nowhere near the discrimination and treatment that fat women get. I have severe body image issues, but I can get hired for a job more easily.

  47. This is so perfect. It's great to hear someone finally express all of these thoughts I've had in my head. Beautifully written.

  48. Lisa says:

    I’m sorry I don’t buy this. ..

    Not the every body should be happy with themselves theme. That is a given, of course that should be the case.

    But the poor me thin priviledge? Eh.

    I once had a girl who could eat everything and barely put on weight tell me it was as bad as my situation of smelling food and putting on weight.

    The difference is you see your body type almost EVERYWHERE classed as an ideal. I only see mine classed as an ideal on fetish websites.

    Get it?

  49. Geneviève says:

    Same story for me. Whenever I get a passive-aggressive comment about how thin I am, I go for humour and tell people: I know, I chose my parents really well. :-)

  50. lara says:

    Thank you for this..just today I met a new woman that I was going to be working with. Me? I am thin, her? She was overweight. I don't care what a person's size is because my life sounds like yours. I have been picked on, and I care about a person, not their body.. Most overweight people I've met (which is a lot) think that for some reason skinny people don't get made fun so they need to "teach us a lesson" or something, idk. Well, this girl hated me, I felt it. She didn't acknowledge my presence, nothing..not until after I had to prove to her that I was a fun and happy person did that "hate" feeling go away..sigh. Anyway, thanks. When I read things like this, I don't feel so alone in this world with my struggles.

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