How to Love.

Via on Jun 13, 2014

It’s important to Love fiercely…but not insanely.

Gently, but not passively.

To love without caring too much about outcomes, without tangling up in politics or labels, insecurities or reaction.

To be vulnerable but not so much that that openness turns to need and suffocates both parties with expectation.

To step back for air at times without turning away.

To honour each person’s space and need to be their (our) own person.

To admit when we are lonely, scared, wrong, sorry.

To regularly exercise trust, despite all risks and against all odds.

To learn, let go and forgive (ourselves) each day.

To be brave enough to choose joy wherever possible.



I have but one request of you, lover: to see me as new as each day is. 

Because I am becoming. 

I am a walking contradiction, every day reborn. 



I Don’t Want to Love You Anxiously 

When I Say I Love You, This is What I Mean 




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Photo: elephant archives

About Renée Picard

Renée Picard is an editor and columnist at elephant journal. A grounded creative, her words often spill out via coffee shop thought streams. She prefers real conversation over small talk, red over pink, ocean over mountains. She leads life with a soft-but-fierce heart. For this story doula, a core mission is offering and holding safe spaces for others to creatively express themselves. She hopes that her writing facilitates real action in the big (and little) picture: social justice, the environment, music and art, relationships, body image, LGBTQ issues---the list is endless. A key to mindful action is keeping conversations erupting and evolving. For her, writing is an instinct, craft, a heart-thing. For more heart-writing, check out her elephant journal author page, connect with her on Facebook, at her blog and at Medium. For quickie updates and cool photos, follow her at Twitter and Instagram.  


3 Responses to “How to Love.”

  1. Jamie Khoo says:

    oh Renee, I'm so glad to be reading your beautiful words again. This is perfect – capturing the two sides of every coin that we toss while we're in love. It's a fine balancing act isn't it, and it's easy to tip over one side without even knowing it. A beautiful reminder and a whole practice of mindfulness just within that single act of loving.

    Big love to you xxx

  2. Amy E says:

    AMEN…Could not have said it better myself! I burst out laughing at the "loving insanely" comment. No bunny boiling necessary. We are all a work in progress…fluid, contradictory at times, scared. I'm trying to stay open in what Jamie calls this "balancing act". Thanks for this beautiful prose. I needed to read this today. Every day is a new beginning.

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