In yoga I have the most hair

I see guys in the locker room

They all grow it down there

But their chests are shiny, bare

 

(BTW I am discreet, I don’t stare)

 

They have it on their heads and legs

But their backs are smooth as blown glass

As a matter of genetics

Mine roams freely, some on my ass

 

What is going on with these yogis

Someone tell me, please

I’m lost in the woods

The lone tree in winter with all its leaves

 

I do hot yoga

We swim in our sweat like a pool

Is hairless best for practice?  ‘Cause to

Queens guys hot waxing is not cool

 

I could see it’s sexier not shedding

And easier for teachers to adjust you

When you’re not like a gorilla they’re petting

Hands on springy curls spraying your sweating

 

Man is born hairy for protection

But we’ve evolved from the wooly caveman

Today I’m a yogi Buddhist vegetarian

Jesus Yahweh Allah Buddha give me direction

 

I’m afraid the salon will change how I see me

But It sucks keeping my shirt on in 100 degrees

It makes my mindful asanas feel like torture

My confidence is drowning in its own moisture

 

Living in Cali now—seems slick dudes rule

I’m happily married—don’t need to make girls drool

I just don’t want to be the one hairy fool

 

So

like the Clash sang:

“Should I shave 

or should I grow now?

If I shave there could be stubble

If I grow the hairs will double.”

 

I must take a stand

Not like a sheep following a trend

So be honest, be a yogi’s friend

Get baaaack to me, what you recommend!

 

In the comments below

Please vote which way do I go?

“Shave,” or “Grow.”

 

 

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Editor: Emily Bartran

Photos: Tony Noto/Pixoto