Opening up about our lifelong “secret” Habitual Patterns—so we can let go.

I have a bad habit of pretending to know where I’m going. Not in life, just in day-to-day walking around.

I’m not sure when it started, but for about as long as I can remember, I will walk for an hour in the wrong direction if I think it’s right. This habit of mine has served to get me very, very lost. It has frustrated friends and partners. It has almost certainly led to dangerous situations.

I think my father and brother have the same condition: the never-ask-for-directions-and-never-admit-when-you’re-lost syndrome. It runs in the family.

Traveling has slowly, slowly forced me out of this pattern, but not entirely. Still I tend to walk with the mad, utter conviction of the utterly lost.

When I am alone, this can act as a protection mechanism. People don’t bother you so much if you seem intent on reaching your destination. When I am with others, well, let’s just say my habit causes more problems than anything else.

It’s time to admit it: I am consistently in new places. I do not know where I’m going. I am, most often, totally unsure if I’m walking the right way.

It’s okay. And I release myself from the necessity of knowing.

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Author: Toby Israel

Photo: Belongs to Author