Loving Our Innocence Back.

All of us are born innocent babes
Happiness our natural state
Wonder in our mind
Play is our body’s instinct
Then things happened
And we and our natural joy
Were taken away suddenly

As if we caught a virus of dysfunction
and our innocence
was betrayed to pain
And so we buried our hearts down deep
so that we could be free from feeling
So we could flee from being

Some of us became victims
Living in fear
of an uncertain tomorrow
Disconnected from the safety
That has always been there
Because we are made from Source
And are Eternal

Disconnected to our right to be here
We fear living and
fear dying
and fear being
And chase sensations
Worshiping elixirs of Escape
Hoping to induce
the cessation of the pain
we feel in Existence.

Some of us became rescuers
Hoping that in loving and giving to others enough
We would finally receive the love
and resolution we seek
and we seek over and over again
Hoping that giving more and more
Would finally make others love us enough
to make us feel safe.

Some of us became perpetrators
Compelled to protect and never again
feel the vulnerability that was so hurt
And we hurt the people that we fear
would hurt us again
If we got too close
We defend against people,
events and things,
who remind us of how unbearably
fragile, delicate and sensitive,
and vulnerable we really are.

Sometimes we pair and we fight together
the ghosts of our pasts
Not realizing that we are actually the same
Hurt, wonderful, lovable inner children
That needs to be held
That was never held long enough,
Safe enough, well enough.
Such is the human condition
What humans can do to one another
We get hurt and we hurt back
We hide and we armor and we run

Until we realize that
We can transcend
We no longer have to play a role
Or chase a feeling
Or guard against something happening
in order to feel safe,
Living our Lives.

Our innocence is always there
Our beauty and vulnerability lies beneath
Waiting for us to love it
And love ourselves
Back from the depths of the despair
Back from the fires of annihilation
Back from the harshness
of secrets, lies and judgments

Back to our selves
Loving our innocence back
From pain to joy
From numbness to aliveness
From shame to grace.
From separation to wholeness
In our body and in our soul.

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Author: Quynh Nguyen

Editor: Travis May

Photo: Courtesy of Author