“Don’t take it so personally,” is something I hear on a regular basis from my husband. I have a nasty habit of over-analyzing things and projecting my feelings onto my “offender.” It takes some practice, but here are some tips I use to lighten up and roll with it.

It’s easy to get riled up and let something small grow so big that it ruins our day. It’s draining and we end up spending precious time and energy on something that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. It’s important to shift focus because we have things we want to accomplish. The things on our to-do lists are more important than fuming about something that probably wasn’t intended to piss us off.

There are times when it’s appropriate to get heated. But if we keep our eyes open, there are some instances when we’re fabricating stories that just aren’t true and are getting ourselves worked up over something that wasn’t intended to offend. And even if something was offensive, we need to pick our battles and ask ourselves, “Is it really worth all of this time and energy?”

I know what you’re thinking: easier said than done. Right? These tips aren’t just suggestions, I actually use them to loosen up and give people the benefit of the doubt. Next time you think you’re reading a nasty email or having a negative interaction with someone, try implementing one of these handy dandy suggestions!

1. If an email feels offensive, pretend each sentence ends with an exclamation point and has happy emojis strewn about.

2. They’re just having a bad day and they’re sharing some of their grump with us. It has nothing to do with us.

3. In the haste of life, she didn’t realize how important something was to us.

4. He didn’t realize that his action or inaction is making life difficult for us.

5. Sometimes we just need to vent and slow down. If we feel like a punching bag, it could just be a case of “wrong place at the wrong time.”

6. They just don’t know better. Let’s face it, ignorance is a real thing.

7. That email they promised us—it’s just sitting in their outbox waiting for the server to connect. They thought they sent it. Honest mistake.

8. That coworker who made the snarky comment may be a miserable person or have a miserable home life.

9. When we feel awkward, we say things that can be awkward. We don’t mean to say them. At our best, we never would’ve said those things. It’s not what we would’ve scripted. It just came out in haste and excitement or clumsiness.

10. The person who just cut us off is on their way to the hospital, hoping that they’ll make it before the baby is born!

11. She’s insecure about herself and feels like she has to tear us down because we’re so fantastic and our work is too.

12. Maybe his newborn is keeping him up all night and he’s doing the best he can right now.

13. They just didn’t know they were being a jerk.

14. They made a mistake! Whoops!

15. That person who doesn’t seem to have a filter never will! Get over it and just be thankful to have been born with one.

Giving somebody grace and the benefit of the doubt can be tough. But at the end of the day, when it doesn’t make sense to waste our energy on being mad, it’s good to let it roll off our shoulders. Our blood pressure and our significant other will thank us too!

 

Author: Reina Pomeroy

Editor: Evan Yerburgh

Image: Flickr