Why is life so f*cking hard sometimes?

This sure used to be a recurring question for me as I sat alone on my couch with tears streaming down my face. My life was filled with stress, worry, never being good enough, always wanting something more, never knowing what that something was.

My critic ran the show.

A couple of years ago, I completely identified with being depressed, moody, uncertain of what to do with my life. I had just ended a six-year relationship. My job felt unfulfilling and was out of alignment with my desires. I looked for ways to numb myself in a bottle of wine and through distractions with meaningless flings—anything to keep me from feeling these feelings.

I felt like I was going nowhere. And I was so tired of feeling that way.

Then, one day I woke up and I started asking a different question:

Why would I want to experience life this way any longer?

It wasn’t like I “hit rock bottom” or anything dramatic like that. I was simply lucky enough to have a few good books recommended to me at a time when I was ready to hear what they had to say.

I’m sure many of you can relate.

We don’t have to wait until we hit rock bottom; we just need to be open, ready and willing to receive.

It’s pretty clear that most of us walk around every day feeling pretty miserable.

Maybe you’re one of the lucky few who have woken up and realize that there is more to life than going through the motions, feeling sorry for ourselves and wishing it could be easier.

When I finally decided that I didn’t want to feel that way anymore, some pretty incredible things started to happen in my life.

And it all started with one crazy idea:

I am not my thoughts.
I am not my emotions either.

Whoa.

When I recognized that I am not my thoughts or emotions, I was able to question them without questioning my true identity. Knowing that I am not the thoughts in my head, I can sit back and observe them for what they are—just thoughts. Knowing that I am not the feelings in my body, I can observe and feel the emotions for exactly what they are—physical sensations in my body attached to a thought.

I learned that I am okay.

Part of knowing that I’m actually the observer of what is going on meant that I could be okay no matter what happened. If I am not my thoughts, then I am not the one who needs to be perfect (that’s my inner critic). It was my thoughts (aka my ego) telling me that I had to be, or do it, a certain way.

When I started to question that, I started to notice that even when I don’t act or do things a certain way, I’m still okay. (I dare you to try it. Pick one thing you always do—like spending three hours cleaning your house before guests come over, spending an hour doing your hair each morning before leaving the house, compulsively checking Facebook or email while walking down the street—and stop doing it. See what happens. You might be surprised that everything is still okay.)

Life got so much easier.

Seriously. Things feel so much easier when I’m not constantly believing every little thought that pops into my head. How could I tell that things were “easier”? People and opportunities started to manifest and appear in my life with little to no effort or struggle. Money appeared when I needed it. Job opportunities aligned with my desires and passions seemingly out of nowhere. It’s the difference between feeling like I am constantly worrying and trying to make things work, and simply moving through the world open to possibilities and seeing them appear everywhere I look.

Things worked out.

When I started exploring this new way of being, I went from living out of fear and scarcity to living from a place of trust and abundance. I went from thinking “what if?” to trusting that it will work out. And guess what? It did! I quit my job with no Plan B…and everything has worked out!

It’s not like I don’t still have those days when I slip back into feeling depressed or unhappy or judgmental. The difference is how I respond to those moments. I now respond from a place of self-love and compassion, experience the lesson there is to learn, and find my way back to my true self.

When we start to question our thoughts, we can change our entire experience of living. [Tweet that!]

What has been one of the most important things you have learned to help you when you’re feeling down or out of sorts? Share in the comments below and help others learn new ways to improve their experience of life.

 

Relephant:

A Meditation for Highly Sensitive People.

~

Author: Amanda Johnson

Editor: Travis May

Photo credits: Flickr/Stella Dauer