This Sunday is Father’s Day.

I’m not a man, but I’m going to take a wild guess that this Father’s Day, your dad or husband does not want some gifty-crafty item as featured on Pinterest or InStyle magazine.

How many grilling gadgets, high-tech watches and cuff link boxes can one be bombarded with for several weeks leading up to Father’s Day?

As usual, I sit down to think about honoring my father and my husband, the father of my son, this Father’s Day like any other.

One of the things I’ve had to do in my marriage is learn to listen and understand that what I want is not what he wants most of the time. I like things. I like stuff. I like activities. I’m a sucker for all of that.

But him? Not so much.

It took me a long time to understand this. What lights him up is not what lights me up. And when I really listen to what he is asking for, I notice that his language is different. He wants to be appreciated, respected, nurtured, and loved but in his own way. He wants to feel useful (which he for sure is). He wants peace and relaxation.

He does not want to go-go-go. Sometimes, he just wants a friggin’ nap.

So while on Mother’s Day, I might love a trip to the Farmer’s Market, breakfast out at a great restaurant, shopping and probably some other event involving more “family fun,” he does not. He wants peace. He wants to move at his own pace. He wants nothing special at all.

So for Father’s Day, I will throw out the plan. I will not spend money on silly things that we do not need. I will listen and adjust. I will do absolutely nothing if that is what he wants.

He is the one that shows me it is okay to pause, be still and not do. He is the silent, quiet strength to my nonstop flutter of energy (that often crashes and burns). He is the patient one when my son can not sleep. He is the one standing back and listening while I step forward. He is the one with his head down working harder than anyone I know. And for all of these things that are not anything like me, I offer him the biggest bow of gratitude from the bottom of my heart.

To all the dads that are our silent strength: Thank you.

 

 

 

 

Author: Anna Versaci

Editor: Renée Picard

Image: Jim McDougall at flickr