Bluntly speaking, I don’t understand motherhood.

First, because I’m not yet a mother, and second, because I’m the child—most children struggle to understand what it feels like to be a mom. Women only understand when they themselves become mothers, and men too, when they see their wives as mothers.

Despite the fact that I don’t fully grasp the bonding that mothers develop, I utterly respect motherhood. I believe that every mother out there is the strongest and most amazing creature on earth.

I regard every mother as a huge tree that provides shadow and oxygen to her children. Her big branches protect them from the rain, and her beautiful leaves keep the sun away from their skin.

Having one of the greatest mothers in the world, I must admit that she is my better half. Her immense love for me gave me a glimpse of what a mother feels for her child. However, I often don’t understand her overly sensitive fears, her excessive attachment, and her immense love.

Not knowing if I will ever become a mother, I long to know what motherhood feels like. I crave decoding the fear, the attachment, and the endless love that my mother and other mothers have toward their children. Therefore, I asked my mother about the secrets of being a mom. Frankly, I had teary eyes when writing them down.

Below are the exact words said by my own mother:

“The bond between a mother and her child is a strong connection that develops on day one when he’s in her womb. She sees his eyes way before physically seeing him. She feels every kick during the nine months. A baby basically shares his mother’s heartbeat and blends his blood with hers. He is fed and nurtured from her own vitamins, and absorbs the oxygen that she breathes. However, the mother gives him more than mere vitamins; she gives him her whole being.

Every mother’s aim during pregnancy is to see her child born alive, and healthy. When he sees the light for the first time, an astonishing journey begins between the mother and the baby. Her love blossoms as she breast feeds him. She feels enormous joy as she’s nurturing him from her own body; she is literally giving him life.

She holds him between her arms, teaches him where to look, how to listen, how to walk, how to spell his very first words, and how to say ‘mama.’

The mother is exhilarated as he is learning new things. She grows speechless when she watches him move, and most importantly when he is sleeping. She doesn’t sleep before he does, and she doesn’t eat before she makes sure his stomach is full. She wakes up in the middle of cold nights to make sure he is covered with a blanket. Sometimes, she secretly places her finger under his nostrils to make sure he is breathing.

The more he grows, the more her love and attachment for him grows, especially when she sees the similarities between him and herself. When he grows up, she teaches him, she guides him and gives him the best she has. She dies for him if necessary.

Motherhood means living every stage of her child’s life. She lives with him through childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. She watches the stages like a person watching his favorite movie. Motherhood means standing next to him, and giving him the needed strength to face life’s sufferings and troubles. Moreover, she tries to keep anxiety away from him using her affection and devotion.

When he falls sick, she feels agony, and wishes the pain was hers. She longs to share his illness and pain. It’s as simple as this: her baby grows up while she watches him closely. Her heart follows him everywhere he goes, and happily carries his troubles on her shoulders. She guides him with love, and tries as much as she can to keep misery away from him.

Education and politeness are two weapons every mother offers to her child. Using them, she gives him the courage and strength to proceed in life. Basically, every mother wishes the best for her child. She simply raises him to be a good hearted person, forgiving, and joyful.

Motherhood is a responsibility. It’s not only about getting pregnant, or having babies. This should be a well-thought of decision as it needs physical, emotional and mental readiness, because the mother is the one responsible for the success of her home, her society and her family. When she raises a child, she is raising a part of herself. She is raising a living consciousness; a living soul.

A mother gives with no return, expecting nothing from her child but his love, respect and appreciation. She wishes nothing for him but to stay close to her, because staying away from her is similar to stripping away a body from its soul.”

Dedicated to my mother, and all the mothers of the world.

 

Relephant:

Motherhood Uncensored: What We Don’t See on Instagram.

 

Author: Elyane Youssef

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Klaus Balzano/Flickr