Do you have questions about creating intimacy or developing mindful relationships? Confusing questions? Awkward ones? Deep, dark scary ones? I want them. Email your questions to: [email protected].

All relephant questions will be answered with loving kindness. (Yes. Every one.) Authors remain anonymous. 

No judgments, just soulful answers.

*Warning: naughty language ahead!

Q: Okay, so here goes, I love being naked and I really like my cock especially when it’s hard.

My wife even comments that I like my cock and she enjoys watching me play with it.

I’m not into men but I wish I could suck my cock and would love to suck someone’s cock with my wife watching—and yes, I want to swallow.

Do you think I have a problem here and do any women find it a turn-on watching men suck cock?

 

A: Let me get this straight. Are you asking me if it’s a problem to be turned on by your own body? Are you serious?

Dear one, I hope you celebrate every inch of your entire being, as well as your wife’s. Good for you. Good for her.

But seriously, as it happens, more straight men are admitting to self-love of their member. They’re sharing these thoughts with gay sexpert Dan Savage, Glamour magazine, Nerve.com, and even on private message boards that cover the subject of self-arousal.

Like you, many men wish they had the ability to self-fellate themselves. You’re definitely not alone there. You may be surprised to learn that a number of heterosexual men also have the fantasy of giving oral sex to another man. (There’s a delightful article about this subject written by the adamantly self-proclaimed hetero journalist, Chris Rockwell.)

And as for women? Of course, a vast amount of women enjoy watching men give oral pleasure to other men—in pornography, in fantasy, and even in reality. It’s a huge turn-on for a number of reasons:

1. Despite what many men may think, women are visual creatures, too. We have voyeuristic streaks in us as well.
2. When we, women, perform fellatio, our visual perspective is limited. Watching another man doing it gives us the full monty.
3. Watching man-on-man oral sex, we can drop the animal instinct toward competition that can occur when we watch another woman perform.
4. There’s something incredibly inclusive about two men letting a woman into their inner circle of sexuality. Very titillating indeed!

Now, I don’t speak for all women; there are some women who want nothing to do with oral sex—watching it or otherwise. Certainly, there are some men who feel the same way. In general, however, most forays into uncharted sexual territory are best supported when in a healthy, trust-filled, intimate relationship. That is to say, when you have a deeply loving relationship with your partner, almost anything goes. What we often want more than anything is to see our partner happy and satisfied.

I’ve said this before, but I’ll repeat it here since I believe it’s a motto to love by: as long as no one is getting hurt (you or your partner), pretty much anything goes.

Which leads me to the final, implied portion of your question, which is whether your wife might enjoy watching you orally pleasure another man. I know a sure-fire way to find out: ask her.

Happy loving!

~

Author: Rachel Astarte

Editor: Katarina Tavčar

Photo: Pexels