We’ve all had our horror stories.

Let’s face it, rent is high. It’s economically responsible to share your living space with another tenant. However, there are things, no matter how well you know a person, that you will never know about them until you’ve lived with them.

But, oh you’ll find out soon enough all of their nooks and crannies; their deepest, darkest, and at times disgusting habits.

I’ve had many wonderful roommates, but I’ve had experiences with them that I wish I’d known I’d be dealing with prior to moving in. Here is a collection of questions I’ve based on past roommates that I wish I could’ve asked them before our lease date, but for the sake of politeness and overall blind sidedness, couldn’t.

What are your sleeping habits? Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Will your four am showers wake me, or will it be your midnight margaritas?

There’s never a perfect medium—not ever.

Housemates are either up before the crack of dawn or awake well into the night. I’ve had both.

Will you have unruly house guests? Are you an unruly house guest?

Things do not need to get broken in the house. Enough said.

Do you write passive-aggressive notes?

I had a roommate who only communicated via the dreaded post-it. This meant all of our conversation were one-sided. It was her way or the highway. To say the least, this did not fly with me.

Will you steal my things, my clothes, my food…my vibrator?

So incredibly disrespectful. Forever unclean. (In case you were wondering: I gave it to her for keeps.)

Do you have a significant other? Or do you have late suitors that I may be able to (*ahem) hear?

Everyone has sex. We all know it’s going on, but we don’t need to hear it happening. Keep it together people.

Will you get wax on the carpet when you decide to bikiniscape in your bedroom?

All of the carpet needed to be torn up, and we were fined miserably for it.

Do you leave dishes in the sink for days, allowing them to grow mold? (No). Are you lying to me right now?

I’ve thrown away a roommate’s dishes before when there’s been mold on them. (I guess I’m a troll-ish housemate, too.)

Will you buy random pets during our time living together? Will you buy a snake? Will you force me to hold the snake?

One of my roommates brought home a corn snake. I wouldn’t have cared because he was fairly small, but she kept him in the living room and regularly took him out to be held. I was not down to hold that snake.

Do you pee in the shower?

I like to take baths. This is virtually impossible when I know my girl roommate is pissing in the shower every day. I can’t clean the bathtub every time before a bath, that cancels out the relaxation that my bath was supposed to provide.

Will you have Netflix marathons with me?

Are you willing to be my friend as well as roommate?

I think this question is the most important. You don’t want just a housemate who shares your space. You want to build a relationship with the person that you are living with. If they are a household troll who buries down in their self-made cave, then you might want to reconsider living with them. That’s never fun, and I’m glad through all of the horribleness, I still have amazing friends who talk to me well after our move-out date.

 

 

 

 

Author: Brittany Ann Bandemer

Editor: Renee Picard

Image: Google images