What does uncertainty have to do with my life?

The truth is, uncertainty has everything to do with our lives.

Our life is pretty much “known” or “expected.” We go to grammar school, attend college, get married, we pursue jobs and have babies. On a conscious level we think we do these things because they are the right things to do, but rarely do we speculate why we do them.

Personally, I think we do these things because they are “certain.” On the unconscious level, these things are comforting because our mind is familiar with them. Most likely, we have seen other people enjoy successfully doing these things.

Metaphorically, when we see certainty right in front of us, we grab it with both hands. When I decided to quit my job and go backpacking, people were showering me with infinite questions. What they asked me, proved to me how much we are ruled by the notion of certainty. Most of the questions started with “what if.” Now that I have returned from my trip, I would answer these questions that I found magic down the path I took. It was magical because it was unknown, uncertain. Additionally, almost everything turned out just fine—amazing, actually.

As human beings, we consistently search for answers. We want to know what is going to happen tomorrow, next month and the following year. That is why we read horoscopes and visit psychics. They tell us the future which in return brings us a sense of comfort and security.

Looking closely at the deeper meaning of certainty, we can see that it goes beyond feelings of comfort and security.

Certainty also means being attached to the results.

Look at us: we want to know what happens if we break up with our partner. What happens if we leave this job. What happens if we change the house. All of these things, however, are closely tied to tension. This is why we are always tense—we are constantly worried about how everything will turn out.

Uncertainty, on the other hand, means freedom and detachment.

Whatever plans or goals we set, we move toward them through complete detachment of the results.

Why do we fear uncertainty?

Because we are ruled by fear. We feel afraid because it represents danger to our ego—which is a bundle of emotions, mind and self-worth.

Why we shouldn’t feel fear.

Because there’s nothing to fear.

The barriers we have in our mind, regarding uncertainty are a complete illusion.

Let’s say we are having a fight with someone. Surprisingly, this person calls to set a meeting. We keep having destructive thoughts of how the meeting will go. We utterly believe that we will fight, scream and probably slap each other in the face.

In reality, the meeting takes a different turn. This person makes peace with us, forgives us and asks to turn the page. Instantly, we forget what we were thinking about before seeing that person. This is how the ego acts as an illusion.

The same goes for uncertainty. We have unrealistic images of what might happen in the events of our lives. We delve into them, analyze them and see them coming. However, once the event takes place, we barely recall what we were expecting.

 “Relinquish your attachment to the known, step into the unknown, and you will step into the field of all possibilities. In your willingness to step into the unknown, you will have the wisdom of uncertainty factored in. This means that in every moment of your life, you will have excitement, adventure, mystery. You will experience the fun of life, the magic, the celebration, the exhilaration and the exultation of your own spirit.” ~ Deepak Chopra

How can we leap into uncertainty?

1. Don’t force life to be a certain way. 

I have learned this the hard way, but forcing things in life, only brings unwanted results. We thoroughly mess with negativity when we impose solutions. Haven’t you noticed that almost nothing turns out the way we want it to be? It is because we can’t force life. Let it flow. When I let life flow, more things will go in the right direction.

2. Believe that all problems are a blessing in disguise.

Things that look like problems on the surface, may hold a deep blessing inside. The more patience and detachment I have, the more indirectly things take a right turn.

3. Don’t have expectations of how things should be.

Having expectations is an unconscious wanting to be certain about the results. Who doesn’t like surprises? Let’s imagine this universe throwing a hell of big a party for us and at midnight surprising us with a big event.

4. Remember that we are not in control.

You’re not. I am not. No one is. Wanting to know what is going to happen or forcing something to happen is as effective as trying to cook stones. Believe it or not, we are only toys of a big game we know nothing about. Let us stop trying to handle the details of our lives—they are not handled by us.

5. Trust the universe.

The universe is made up of an expansive field of infinite capabilities. It contains the same intelligence that we possess and the same energy that flows into us. In order to trust it, we must feel love toward it first. Imagine your partner taking you out for dinner. He tells you it’s a surprise but you must trust him that you will like the place. As a consequence of immense love and trust for him, you blindly go, knowing he is taking you somewhere astonishing. Even if you failed to like the place, your love for him is strong enough to know how to enjoy it and make him feel your gratitude. Same goes for the universe. Love it trust it, and it will guide you to the right place.

I thoroughly believe that we must stop protecting ourselves from uncertainty. The shield we are wearing is blocking magic to penetrate our lives.

Think to yourself: what is the worst that could happen? What are we losing? In fact, we aren’t quite losing. With uncertainty we can’t be anything but winners.

~

Relephant:

Learning to Overcome the Obstacles to Love.

Author: Elyane Youssef

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr/Emery