To be my lover is one thing, but to be both my friend and my lover is something else.
I don’t want your love solely. I want your friendship too.
I know that we have loved each other for a long time now, but we haven’t really befriended each other. This led me to realize how hazardous a love relationship can get if it doesn’t contain an element of friendship in its roots.
It is a shallow partnership where sex and sweet words rule. There will be plenty of body f*cking and a lot of promises that go in vain.
We lived a mutual life but truth is, without friendship, we were separable in it.
Our friendless relationship has led us to make a good amount of friends with the opposite sex that almost had us losing each other forever. We didn’t really grasp why each one of us was so keen on sharing innocent time with other people.
But the reason was that a friendship was missing between us.
Darling, we will never succeed as lovers in a relationship if we don’t learn how to be friends inside of it.
Truth is, not only do I want you to f*ck my body but I want you to f*ck my soul too. Lovers take sex seriously. But best friends do not have sex—they have a sexual experience. They chat and laugh after making love while they’re still naked.
And their physical nakedness becomes nothing compared to the nudity of their souls.
We will become so deeply connected that we won’t have to spoon every single night. We can sleep with our backs turned to each other but each of us will have a smile on his face. And perhaps we’ll touch each other’s toes for a minute or two as a silent signal of union.
Instead of promises and sweet words I want endless meaningful conversations by the fireplace while you’re pouring wine in my glass and I’m pouring stories in your soul.
I want us to spend time together and actually be together. Let’s sit at the same corner even if we’re doing different things. Tell me about the book you’re reading and I’ll tell you about what I’m writing.
Let’s try and understand our differences because I’m most certain that we shall meet at a common point.
And if we ever fight, we won’t sleep with teary eyes because lovers who are best friends can never hurt each other. Hurting the other would be like hurting one’s self. And if we were ever hurt, we’ll know how to close each other’s wounds in the most exquisite way.
Our friendship will teach us how to be honest with each other. Even if we f*cked up, we will have the balls to step up and tell one another. We won’t be ashamed of admitting our mistakes because friends know that they are far from being perfect.
Come on. Let’s do all the stuff that best friends do. Let’s not intimidate each other. I want to be myself with you and I want you to be yourself with me. I want us to have a favorite song, play it and sing along with it while we’re driving to the liquor store.
I want to be 16 again with you and I want to be impatient about reaching 60 with you, because best friends do not get tired from each other. They can live together for ages knowing they have each other’s backs no matter what.
Baby, let’s be best friends.
Forget about a ring on my finger.
Be my best friend and I’ll be your forevermore lover.
Author: Elyane Youssef
Editor: Caitlin Oriel
Image: Dmitry Ratushny/Unsplash
hot on elephant
Boomers vs. Millennials: Will We stay the Course or Change It? Instead of Sabotaging another Relationship, here’s how to Run into your Fear. Join: Elephant’s Fall 2016 Academy. To Have our Needs Met—Without Apology. What we’re Actually Searching for when we Run Away. How I Used my Body Weight to Protect Me. 5 Tips for Getting Out of Bed When we Just Want to Go Back to Sleep.