August 22, 2010

Dear Waylon, I Have Nothing to Say.

Dear Waylon,

I wish I could write something that would get 2,000 clicks, might be a breakthrough to global consciousness or the Elephant community. But I’m speechless these days and just feeling honored to be alive with breath, with life. How can I explain this? It is only a mere feeling, an exquisitely personal experience…

Only recently I left the Global Youth Peace Summit where refugee and American youth gathered with a community of volunteers in order to facilitate inner empowerment and growth- the biggest catalyst being a high dose infusion of love concentrated by a container of an exquisite Village. It sounds insignificant, even cliché- the love movement has been around for a long time. I’ve been a believer and a doubter, but this was something different. And yet I have no words to express my heart expansion, the witnessing of lives transformed, the experience of fulfillment on an individual and community level. All that is left is the energetic imprint of our village. I can’t really speak of its impact.

Now I sit in the essence of Vermont’s late summer beauty as I step into my next semester at Goddard College. Merging with yet another community- this one steeped in philosophical, existential and social cause and effect. Late nights around the fire singing the songs of our universal plight while weaving new patterns, dreams and desires into our passionate exchanges of enlightenment. I sit and listen, soaking in the genius of it all. This season, my words seem lacking. Silence reigns. I soak up these impressions with my eyes open.

My life is full of obstacles these days, challenges to my heart and hindrances to happiness. My mother is facing chemotherapy again after seven years of partial remission. A close friend, younger than my self, was just diagnosed and is undergoing treatments now. What can I say? We move forward. We hope for another day. I have gratitude for this breath, and this one and…The sun rises and sets, the moon graces us with her presence—stars twinkling in delight. Nothing expressed out loud seems powerful or necessary enough in the face of these heartaches.

I sit in silence, witnessing their bittersweet gifts.

Normally my practice is comprised of meditation and asanas, Ayurvedic cuisine, positive inner dialogues, and offering service to others. But in this time, my practice has become more about life. There isn’t much to say- it’s just moments unfolding one after another. Does this need an explanation?

I am the rishi sitting at the banks of the Ganga smiling sometimes, expressionless at others, eyes wide shut- serene and at peace. There is no other experience to be had. I witness the emotion in the field of life and let it be. Tears are allowed and thanked gracefully these days, laughter a gift. But words? Nothing comes.

I’m sorry to disappoint, I have no profound blogs to offer today. Nothing radical or complicated. Nothing happy or sad. I can’t offer something uplifting or powerful.

All I have to offer is my silence right now, only introspection.

Thank you for your work, your liberating forum for personal growth. Know that I am still contributing to the Elephant community…but that it is on a different level right now.



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