Cookies of Love – a liberal seminarian squares off with a fundamentalist

Via Roger Wolsey
on Nov 14, 2010
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…During my last semester of grad school I was involved in monitoring the proceedings at the General Conference of the United Methodist Church (effectively, the “Congress” of the denomination that meets every four years to adopt and revise rules and regulations) that happened to meet in Denver that year.  Like many mainline churches, the UMC has been in state of transition & turmoil regarding whether or not to allow for the full inclusion of GLBTQI[1] persons.  Here’s what happened at the conference one day:

Cookies of Love

As I got off the bus downtown and approached the Denver Convention Center, I could see a bunch of people holding signs.  They didn’t look like fellow United Methodists and they didn’t seem friendly.  As I got closer, I could read the signs and realized that this was a group of outside interlopers who were crashing our convention with their messages of hate.  The signs read, “Methodists Repent! Don’t become a Gay Church!;”Homosexuality is an Abomination! (Leviticus 18:22)”, and the like.

The closer I got to them, the more my blood pressure raised.  I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins.  I was getting into attack mode.  I went up to the jerk holding the sign quoting from Leviticus and said, “Do you eat shrimp?”  He said, “What?” I hollered back, “Do you eat shrimp or crab meat?! Because if you do that’s an abomination Leviticus 11:12!”  Him, “Well that’s different!”  I said, “Oh really? Say, is that a polyester-cotton blend shirt that you’re wearing?  That’s against the law too!  What do you think you’re doing picking and choosing verses from the Bible and then being such a hypocrite?!”  It was on.  The shouting match took off and it was a truly epic match of tit for tat proof-texting each of us proving how we were right and the other one was wrong – and an ass.

Well in the midst of this nasty melee, I felt a breeze against the back of my legs.  I turned and saw a tall man in a suit reaching in between us with a large cookie in his hand, saying, “Have a cookie!”  The guy with the sign and I looked at each other then at him, and then we took the cookie being offered.  We broke it in half and started to enjoy the cookie.  The guy in the suit walked off hardly breaking stride at all.  We found ourselves still arguing, but our volume level went way down and we somehow shifted into a more civil mode of, slightly, more rational debate.  And at the end, we honored each other as being fellow Christians, we shook hands and pledged to pray for each other.

Later that day, I came across that strange man in the suit and went up to him and thanked him for offering that cookie to us as a means of grace and transformation.  To which he replied, “What are you talking about?  I was trying put something in that guy’s mouth so he’d shut up and let you speak![1]

I learned a lesson that day, the Holy Spirit can work even through people who aren’t even aware of it – and who even have a different agenda all together.  In fact, I think She may’ve even done it through me a few times.  The other lesson was that the line between enemy and friend is not a rigid one and that the concept of “enemy” is only there to the extent that we want and allow it to exist.

Historic writings about the early Church tell us that non-Christians often remarked of Christians “See how they love each other!” There was a time of such a lack of love in ancient Roman society that any show of love or joy, let alone unconditional love like the kind that had them going out of their way to ensure that the poor people of Rome received proper burials, set Christians apart from the rest of the crowd.  People could sense something was different about those Christians.  That difference was inclusive, radical love and compassion – and that difference made Christianity worthy of consideration.

Could the same be said of us today?  Could people look at us and be able to say, “See how they love?” It’s such a simple thing to have said about us, but it’s the highest compliment of behavior we can receive.  It’s certainly better than, “See how nice their buildings are,” or “See how big their church is.” It was simply, “See how they love!” To the extent that some Christians are demonstrating and manifesting this sort of love, it’s not by accident.  It’s because they’ve worked at it.  The next chapter shares how.


This is the closing portion of the 10th chapter of my soon to be released book, Kissing Fish: christianity for people who don’t like christianity. (should be available around Dec. 1st, I’ll keep you posted.

Hope you like it.



[1] Rev. Chuck Schuster, currently at 1st UMC Ft. Collins, CO

[1] Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgendered Queer Inter-Sex


About Roger Wolsey

Roger Wolsey is a free-spirited GenX-er who thinks and feels a lot about God and Jesus. He’s a progressive Christian who identifies with people who consider themselves as being “spiritual but not religious.” He came of age during the “Minneapolis sound” era and enjoyed seeing The Replacements, The Jayhawks, Husker Du, The Wallets, Trip Shakespeare, Prince, and Soul Asylum in concert—leading to strong musical influences to his theology. He earned his Masters of Divinity degree at the Iliff School of Theology in Denver, CO. Roger is an ordained pastor in the United Methodist Church and he currently serves as the director of the Wesley Foundation campus ministry at C.U. in Boulder, CO. He was married for ten years, divorced in 2005 and now co-parents a delightful 10-year old son. Roger loves live music, hosting house concerts, rock-climbing, yoga, centering prayer, trail-running with his dog Kingdom, dancing, camping, riding his motorcycle, blogging, and playing his trumpet in ska bands and music projects. He's recently written a book Kissing Fish: christianity for people who don't like christianity


13 Responses to “Cookies of Love – a liberal seminarian squares off with a fundamentalist”

  1. Cynthia says:

    Very nice!!! Love, peace, and cookies 🙂

  2. Carolyn says:

    What a great response, and a great outcome! (Maybe they should have had a LOT of cookies at last year's ELCA church-wide assembly…)

  3. Amy says:

    I really enjoyed this story. I had a dream last night that I was screaming at a Fundamentalist telling them they were brainwashed and they needed to take back control of their life. Then I see your blog…hahaha…synchronicity. Love you Roger!

  4. blair says:

    Thanks for sharing this Roger… I have no problem seeing that weareone- all 7 billion of us on the planet… God is love and no one is left out- so I do not exclude anyone and feel a complete and total unconditional love from the divine seed within me… I recognize that some people see it differently- they are still a part of the human family but look at the elephant from a different angle… I hope this made sense… weareone! separation is an illusion!

  5. GretaCargo says:

    An ironic reminder of a line from Catholic liturgy: "taste and see the goodness of the Lord." Love this post.

  6. BrotherRog says:

    Hey Folks! I'm delighted to report that the book is out now! click on the "click HERE" button at : )

  7. Emma Blueh says:

    So do you think being gay is a sin? I believe it is referred to in the new testament which gives it different weight than shrimp or stoning adulterers. But regardless we are all sinners, all sins are equal except nor worshipping the True Living God.

    Also, I’m intrigued by the feminine reference to the Holy Spirt, where does that come from?

    I am impressed with the ease and engagement of this writing, congrats on the book a dream come true no?

  8. BrotherRog says:

    1. no (i suspect we'll have to agree to disagree about this), but agreed, all humans sin.
    2. re: feminine reference to Holy Spirit, explore the links found here:
    3. thanks! yes, it feels really good. : )

  9. […] an article from a conservative perspective that at least honors this more accurate view of sodomy Walter Wink’s article Letter from Peter Gomes (a Gay, African American, Republican) Jesus’ encounter with a gay couple? (really deep) Cookies of Love […]

  10. […] A particularly Christian thing to do might be for Church people to show up to the protests and serve water, coffee, and baked cookies to the protesters, the police, and the businesspeople walking by. It’s hard to be aggressive toward someone who is drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies with you. […]

  11. Jeff Fulmer says:

    Love the article… Had a similar shouting match at a protest… when it came out it that the young man I was arguing with grew up near where I lived (and there was a chance I knew his parents), things calmed down and we became more much civil and maybe made a little progress….He became 'my neighbor' and not just some stranger/enemy.

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